Category Archives: Reviews

Freud Would Have a Field Day

Posted by BlackWidower on

The horror genre has become cliché. It’s just the same fucking movie over and over again. Sometimes you get an original flick, like 28 Days Later, with its mid-movie twist of like-I’m-gonna-tell-you. But for the most part, it’s pretty much the same movie, remade fifty time. That was the whole premise of Scream, the film that quantified the genre rules by outright stating them.

The fact is, if someone manages to define genre rules, it’s officially cliché. This is especially bad when it comes to horror, which, for the most part, relies on the unexpected.

Even the monsters have become cliché. No matter what film you’re talking about, there are only a few options for antagonists: Vampires, Werewolves and Zombies. No one’s come up with anything more unique. Okay, there are also serial killers, but that’s not from anyone’s imagination, those already exist. The most unique thing anyone’s done with serial killers is give them super-murder-powers, but they’re still just serial killers.

The unoriginality of horror films doesn’t really surprise me though. I recently tried a bit of a thought experiment to come up with a new horror monster by starting with a base fear. Obviously it would be something that wants you dead, for some reason. Biologically those reasons could only be for reproduction or nutrition. Otherwise why would they give a fuck? They would be fast, and stealthy and basically the perfect warrior, and typically attack in massive numbers. To a certain extent, this fits zombies to a tee. Zombies are based on a basic primal fear, one that is likely universal in the truest sense of the word.

But perhaps one could take the zombie model and throw it in a new direction, like space. Unfortunately, that has also been done, by Ridley Scott in Alien. Continue reading →

Dream a Little Dream Within a Dream

Posted by BlackWidower on

Dreaming, we all do it. But am I the only one who keeps forgetting them?

I hear if you wake up on your own accord, without an alarm, you’ll remember whatever you dreamed that night, but screw that, I got things to do, and a brain that just won’t cooperate.

But still, on occasion, I manage to remember a really good dream the next day. Those are always fun. The ones where I fly around town with Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle as my wingmares. Yes, I know Twilight’s not a pegasus! Shut up! It’s my dream, not yours!

Anyway, dreams are great. They’re the only real time your mind truly runs free, unconstrained by reality or sanity. But the big problem with dreams, is that you really don’t get to share them with others. It’s a solitary experience.

Don’t you wish you and a friend could dream together? Experience the joys of running free in each other’s subconscious and share what you create? Social Dreaming! Wouldn’t that be fun? Wouldn’t that be exciting!?

Unfortunately, we can’t share dreams, it’s simply not possible. Unless we’re Ellen Page in Christopher Nolan’s epic sci-fi heist film: Inception. Continue reading →

My Little Fanservice: My Little Pony season 3 preview

Posted by BlackWidower on

I’ve said it a million times, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is my favourite TV show that hasn’t been cancelled yet. It’s cute, funny, compelling, and has a stellar cast of characters.

The second season closed just a few months ago, and the community hasn’t responded by dying down. Every day, more fan art and fan fiction is posted to Equestria Daily as we all wait in anticipation for season three. I know I’m looking forward to it. This is a show that’s never failed to impress. With 52 episodes and counting, this show has always remained in top form for its entire run, and it’s all credit to the amazing cast and crew. The voice actors, animators, storyboard artists (including Raven M. Molisee, who I accidentally insulted once), and writers are all hard-working and passionate, and responsible for the high quality content we’ve come to expect out of My Little Pony, and I thank all of them for it. I have no doubt it’ll only get better from this moment forward…right? …right!?

Well…no. It seems what we’re likely going to get instead, is the writers jerking off the fans until they come white hot nerd. Allow me to explain: Continue reading →

Wedding of the Dead: “A Canterlot Wedding” review

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This week featured a very special episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: The last episode…of the season!!! It was the last episode of the season and the one we’ve all been waiting for: A Canterlot Wedding!

I’d like to open by giving a few first impressions. I wasn’t expecting much. In fact, I was expecting it to suck. It’s a wedding! What could possibly be that amazing at a wedding!? Plus, I didn’t have that great a week, so my cynicism was in overdrive, and if you know me you probably also know that it should have killed me.

But an hour later, I had a smile on my face that just wouldn’t go away! I was happy, and I wasn’t exactly sure why. Probably because I’m a hopeless romantic!

Though, that is not to say the episode didn’t have its problems. It certainly did. Let’s run through them! Continue reading →

C.S.I.: Train to Canterlot: “MMMystery on the Friendship Express” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

This week on My Little Pony, we witness an interesting phenomenon: The application of critical thinking.

Remember back in season one? The episode Feeling Pinkie Keen was all about Pinkie’s precognitive abilities, and Twilight being extremely skeptical, and continually searching for a more logical explanation, but in the end just accepts it without another thought.

This pissed off a lot of skeptics. She should not have just accepted that Pinkie had superpowers, she should have vehemently denied their existence. Well, I disagree, primarily because the events of the entire episode verified Pinkie’s abilities. The thing about the supernatural is this: Skeptics don’t simply not believe it exists because it doesn’t fit any models of known science. We don’t believe because there’s no evidence that it’s anything more than deception.

If you can prove that you can predict the future, beyond any doubt, and can do it over and over again, I will believe you. It’s easy: just tell me what this week’s Lotto numbers are…and do it more than once to prove it’s not just a fluke. After that, we can work on modifying, adding to, or replacing the various physics models we use, so they fit this new evidence.

Prove there are ghosts, and I’ll willingly throw out the Theory of Relativity!

But still, it pissed off a lot of skeptics, and I guess I can understand. It might send the wrong message to children who wouldn’t see the big picture. But this week, it appears they’re making up for it. When we see Pinkie call up her inner Greg House and learn how to be a bit more skeptical…kinda. Continue reading →

Biased and Faulty: “Ponyville Confidential” review

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The thing about journalism is that it has become kinda shitty in recent years. “If it bleeds, it leads,” is the new adage among many newsrooms, and this has caused many people to either ignore these morons, or take them seriously, and I’m not sure what’s worse.

The role of journalists is to report the truth in the most honest and even-handed way possible. To be fair and accurate, as my old journalism professor put it so many times. Unfortunately, that doesn’t really sell papers, or get ratings, or page hits. Fear, controversy and rage are what get people’s attention, and so that’s what editors tend to push to the front page.

You ever see Moonlight? It premiered a few years ago and only lasted half a season, so it’s okay if you didn’t. Anyway, one of the characters was a reporter for a website called BuzzWire, and when her editor is murdered by a vampire, her replacement says his top priority is getting the story out before anyone else. So, forget fact checking, if it’s wrong they can print a retraction later. What a cunt! This is not the way to do business! At least not ethically!

There was a time when journalism wasn’t about the money, it was about doing the right thing. A company would gain money from other sources and use the profits to fund a media outlet that wasn’t necessarily designed to make a profit. But in recent years, it’s something the shareholders frown upon.

With all that in mind, we move to the latest episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, as the Cutie Mark Crusaders try their hoof at journalism, and learn these ethical principles the hard way. Continue reading →

Fluttershy and the Waves: “Hurricane Fluttershy” review

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Equestria is an unusual place. I mean excluding the whole ‘sentient ponies’ and ‘living mythological creatures’ thing. What I mean is, it’s unusual because of the jobs certain ponies have. Specifically, the jobs inherently connected to their race.

Now, earth ponies are in charge of managing the animal and plant life in Equestria. Which makes sense to a certain extent, I mean, here on Planet Earth, we have farmers, and pet owners. But generally they don’t bother taking care of wild animal and plant life, because those can take care of themselves.

Unicorns are in charge of raising the sun and moon every day. I wonder when the others pony races are going to clue in that the planets orbit naturally, and if they didn’t, the moon would’ve crashed into the planet long ago. But it’s a good scam they got going on, no wonder they don’t tell anypony the truth. Now, it is possible the planet is tidally locked, so they need to force it to rotate, but it would have to be a lot closer…they must have one hell of an ozone layer.

Finally, the pegasi, who are in charge of the weather. Which actually makes a lot of sense, I mean if we could do it, we so would. We could prevent hurricanes, tornadoes, major ice storms that can take out three provinces at once, and snowstorms during exam time. But this week it’s revealed that they don’t just control it, they need to create it. If they didn’t, the entire planet would likely become a wasteland. How the hell did life evolve on this rock!? Continue reading →

Dumbass and Dragons: “Dragon Quest” review

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Don’t ever forget, above all else, to know thyself. It’s a very important concept to remember. Know who you are and what you are capable of. I, for instance, know I am an atheist skeptic with a chip on my shoulder. I also have a natural skill in mathematics and I love Earl Grey tea and my cat when she’s not being a pain in the ass.

As part of this, it’s also important to continually try to learn new things about yourself. As they say: you never know until you try. I, for instance, recently discovered: I like coffee. I used to think I hated it. But that was probably because, back then, I was served shit coffee. Apparently, if it’s made right, I actually kinda like it. Funnily enough, I feel the same way about tea.

It is on this note that we begin this week’s episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Spike the dragon is a unique specimen. Like a man raised by wolves (I hear there are a few movies about that), he is fully absorbed in pony culture. So much so that he gets caught in a bit of an identity crisis. He’s a dragon, who doesn’t act like a dragon. So what exactly is he? Continue reading →