Wedding of the Dead: “A Canterlot Wedding” review

This week featured a very special episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: The last episode…of the season!!! It was the last episode of the season and the one we’ve all been waiting for: A Canterlot Wedding!

I’d like to open by giving a few first impressions. I wasn’t expecting much. In fact, I was expecting it to suck. It’s a wedding! What could possibly be that amazing at a wedding!? Plus, I didn’t have that great a week, so my cynicism was in overdrive, and if you know me you probably also know that it should have killed me.

But an hour later, I had a smile on my face that just wouldn’t go away! I was happy, and I wasn’t exactly sure why. Probably because I’m a hopeless romantic!

Though, that is not to say the episode didn’t have its problems. It certainly did. Let’s run through them!

First thing to note: I hate the bumpers. At the beginning and end of every commercial break, we were “treated” (and I use that term loosely) to a segment featuring Tori Spelling talking to everypony in the main cast. It could have been interesting, if Spelling bothered to use a bit of, what is called, effort. I know, I know, sounds complicated, but I’m sure it could have been done. One of the highlights of these segments was the one with Spike, where he acts all smitten with her and she says: “I have that effect on dragons.” Well that explains why she married Dean McDermott. BOOM!

Anyway, no one cares about that. The episode proper opens with the main cast and Spike all being invited by Celestia to help organize a big wedding. Twilight’s confused, who the crap’s getting married? But then, Spike gives her a letter he received earlier, explaining that the bride and groom are Celestia’s niece, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza; and Shining Armor…Twilight’s brother. What the fuck!?

I’m sorry but this needs to be said. How is it that Celestia’s niece and the brother of Celestia’s personal student end up dating, much less getting married. Or more importantly, how can she not know about it!? This perplexes me. Now, a bit of exposition later, we learn that Mi Amore Cadenza, aka, Cadance, was Twilight’s foalsitter, and Shining Armor is captain of the royal guard. Okay, this perplexes me even more. What exactly are the odds that a family would have one child end up the personal student of the leader of the royal house; and the other not only ends up as leader of those that protect the royal house, but marries one of them, and the one they marry also foalsat their little sister?

I think there’s a word for this: nepotism. Yeah, I’m going there. Here I thought the only reason Twilight got into Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns was because of her magical abilities. But considering her family is so intertwined with the royal family, that might have something to do with it.

In the end, it works for the plot, but it feels so contrived, and the implications are quite unsettling.

Anyway, Twilight is also very perplexed by this turn of events, but for different reasons. She was always so close to Armor, and to find out about his marriage this way, instead of from the man himself, bothers her. They were so close, she even sings a song about it.

Since this is the final episode this season, I think it’s important to note. The songs this season really bug me. Primarily because they’re all done straight. That’s not right! In season one there were 17 big musical numbers, and only four were done straight. This season we have 14 songs, and all but five are done straight. What do I mean by ‘straight’? I mean, with no one going: “What the fuck!?”

In the series premiere, one of the best moments was when Pinkie breaks into song, not because of the song, but because of the reactions from the other ponies: “Tell me she’s not!” “She is!”

My point is, that is exactly what I loved about the show, and they seem to deliberately fuck it up this season. So here I am cringing for two reasons as this song played.

Apparently Twilight and Armor always got along, never fought and were always extremely close. Okay, I don’t think they’re real siblings. After all, let’s look at other siblings in Equestria, Apple Bloom and Applejack, and Sweetie Belle and Rarity. Half the episodes that feature Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle feature them getting into some fight with their sisters. So I find it hardly believable that Twilight always got along with her brother. Not one fight, once? She get’s into fights with her best friends on a regular basis, and yet she always got along with her brother?

So the team arrives in Canterlot, all ready to begin their work. Fluttershy is preparing a choir of birds, Rarity is designing all the dresses for the wedding party, Applejack is in charge of catering, Pinkie is planning the reception, and Rainbow is training to perform a Sonic Rainboom during the ceremony. I gotta say, is that all Rainbow does now? The Sonic Rainboom? Doesn’t she do anything else? Does she have no other tricks in her repertoire? Anyway, then there’s Spike, who’s supposed to be planning the bachelor party. Alright!!! Don’t forget the strippers little guy! Unfortunately, he says he doesn’t know what a bachelor party is…we’re fucked.

So Twilight, a bit pissed that she wasn’t personally informed about the wedding, confronts her brother. All I gotta say is, I don’t like his voice. It probably sounds appropriate for Twilight’s big brother, but not for the Captain of the Royal Guard.

Armor explains that the reason he couldn’t see Twilight himself was because of his position, and the added security in Canterlot. Apparently, Equestria’s capital is at Orange Alert, and Armor is needed to maintain the city shield, which is powered by his magic. It’s explained that he’s the only one who can do this. Really? Because Twilight managed to do it just a few weeks ago to keep the Cutie Mark Crusaders from invading her library. So I highly doubt he’s the only one. But nonetheless, it’s his job.

So Twilight manages to comprehend the gravity of the situation, though I’m not sure why she didn’t ask what exactly the threat was. I certainly was curious. Did they get a letter? Did one of their spies catch some chatter from the middle east? Those camels are always trouble! Details people!!!

Anyway, a bit of exposition later we flash back to the time when Cadance foalsat Twilight. Yes, I shall insist on continuing to use the pony language no matter how awkward it is, shut up! They were apparently pretty close, and something that really bugs me, is the revelation that she has a love spell. That doesn’t feel ethical to me. Perhaps it only reminds those that are already in love, that they are in love.

So, let’s go back for a second, the social misfit who couldn’t deal with friends, and didn’t really think they would be worth her time, and then can’t even understand what friendship means, and fails every social situation she’s placed in, was practically best friends with two different unicorns!? Well, they were older, so that might have something to do with it.

Moving on, Cadance acts like she’s never met Twilight before, which might have something to do with the fact that she’s grown up into somepony who’s a bit more snooty then she was in her teens. Or, she’s been replaced by an alien replicant.

So Twilight goes to supervise the progress on the wedding, and here’s a big revelation: Applejack knows how to make ice sculptures. Where did she learn that!? Anyway, Cadance arrives and as she’s sampling the food, I noticed something quite odd, her magic’s green, and it’s made pretty clear in the flashback that Cadance’s magic is pink! …wait…okay, it’s actually blue, but…the point is, it’s not green!!! First major clue that something is wrong! How did Twilight not pick up on that!?

As Cadance continues to examine the wedding preparations, and Twilight examines her, she comes to the conclusion that Cadance is a right bitch and tells all her friends. They disagree.

So Twilight decides to tell her brother about her suspicions but they’re interrupted by the bitch herself, who asks to speak with Armor behind closed doors. But Twilight spies on the two and sees Cadance cast a green spell on him. Again, the magic is green!!! Do ponies not see colour? If so, how does Rarity still have a job?

So at least now things really start. The wedding rehearsal begins, with Rarity, Rainbow, Pinkie, Applejack, and Fluttershy all playing bridesmaids after her old bridesmaids mysteriously disappeared. It’s at this moment Twilight arrives to confront Cadance with all the evidence against her. All except for the fact that her magic is the wrong colour!

So Cadance breaks down into tears in a fake attempt to garner sympathy. I say fake because it starts so suddenly that it’s almost comedic.

This outburst pisses off Shining Armor and he explains that everything that happened has a much more logical explanation. Such as the green spell she cast on him actually being a healing spell to cure his headaches which have been caused by the shield spell, which makes sense; and she fired her bridesmaids because all they wanted was to meet royalty, like Princess Cadance…wait. So her bridesmaids weren’t her friends? I’m confused.

So everypony leaves Twilight in shame after she blew up at the bride to be. But as she’s crying over her mistake, Cadance shows up, and magically forces Twilight to melt into the floor. Well, she’s dead.

End part one! See you next time! Alright I’m kidding. I find it odd that they would bother putting up the ‘To Be Continued’ card when it’s to be continued in a few minutes.

So the next episode begins with a summary of the last episode, in case your memory was wiped in the last three seconds.

We open with Twilight in some cave. That is a weird spell, caused her to phase through the floor or something, straight into some type of cave under the castle. Why not just kill her? I guess it’s not her MO.

Cadance begins taunting Twilight as any supervillian would. So Twilight sends magical blasts to destroy every reflective surface in the cave that Cadance appears in, eventually breaking a wall, behind which lies…a dishevelled Princess Cadance? Twilight attacks, but Cadance cowers in fear and is able to convince Twilight that there are two of her and she is the real one, by reciting a poem from Twilight’s childhood.

See, I was right! Alien replicant!!

The two unicorns begin their escape.

One problem though, the two Cadances begin a big musical number, and I just lost three million brain cells! Evil Cadance explains exactly how evil she is, and at that volume, I’m surprised no one else heard! Turns out she didn’t notice the bell boy offscreen in the corner, quietly going, “HOLY SHIT!”

Here’s something that’s never explained, when exactly did the switch occur? Was it before or after he proposed? I guess we’re supposed to presume it’s after. But here’s the most unsettling part of this whole thing: Shining Armor was fucking an imposter. After all, it seems like the switch happened a few days ago, so it’s likely they got it on in the interim.

The duo manage to find a route of escape, but are blocked by the bridesmaids who were supposedly only interested in meeting royalty. Hey, they got to do just that! They’ve been hypnotised by Evil Cadance to act as guards of the cave-prison. If she could do that, why didn’t she try to hypnotize Twilight? Would have made things a lot easier wouldn’t it?

So Twilight and Cadance distract the bridesmaids with a thrown-together bouquet of flowers, which they throw across the room, with all three going after it. I like that joke. I doubt most kids got it though.

At the wedding, the Cutie Mark Crusaders make their first appearance this episode as flower fillies. Was this planned from the beginning or was this a last-minute thing, and why didn’t it come up before now?

Cadance arrives at the wedding and explains that Evil Cadance is a Changeling, a shape-shifter that feeds off of love. At this point, we see her true form, and she looks a bit like a zombie! Holy shit! Was Shining Armor fucking that thing for the past week or so!? Poor guy!

But she’s not just any Changeling, she’s the Changeling Queen! The entire Changeling army is attempting to get past the shield, and since Evil Cadance (I’m going to keep calling her that because I got nothing better) has Armor under her spell, he can’t reinforce it.

It’s at this point you may wonder where Celestia is, she was supposed to be presiding over the ceremony after all. Well she slipped off-screen when we weren’t looking. But it’s at this point she decides to confront Evil Cadance. Unfortunately, Celestia is quickly dispatched because Armor loves Cadance so much and Evil Cadance used that love as a weapon. Try not to think too much about that.

Celestia orders our heroes to summon the Elements of Harmony (Oh, those things still exist!?) and take the bitch out. They leg it to the vault just as the Changeling army manages to shatter the force field like it’s glass. Pretty darn cool. The Changelings are all that stand between the team and the Elements, and to mess with their heads, the Changelings decide to transform into copies of our heroes. Cue bombastic fight scene. It’s pretty bad ass. They arrive at the vault, which has already been taken over by the Changelings. Our heroes have been captured, they have failed, all hope is lost, as the Changelings have taken over, and shall torment Equestria forever.

Or at least that’s what I would have written, and it would have been a great way to end the season, as we anticipate the resolution next season. But unfortunately, the episode continues. Cadance manages to break the hypnosis spell on Armor and he quickly tries to perform the shield spell, as if that would do anything. All it would do is encase the Changelings within Canterlot. There’s an idea: Keep them in Canterlot and abandon the city! But Armor is drained, he has absolutely to energy to cast any spell. Then, Cadance comes up with a solution:

Cadance: My love will give you strength.
Evil Cadance: What a lovely but absolutely ridiculous sentiment.

I’m with ya Evil Cadance. But apparently the writers thought otherwise because that’s exactly what happened next. The two love-birds combine their magic and successfully propel every Changeling out of Canterlot…so they can torment the rest of Equestria.

It feels like a giant Deus Ex Machina, and that’s why it bugs me. The corniness I’m fine with. We’ll just say the two combined their powers ala Power Rangers.

Of course, now it’s time for the real wedding! One can assume they put everything back together all on the same day, after all, most of it was all planned out anyway.

I love weddings, there’s always a huge party afterwards! I wish I went to more weddings, I’ve only been to two that I can remember and that’s a bit unsettling to me, considering at least half of them ended terribly.

So Cadance and Shining Armor get married, Luna arrives asking if she missed anything (FUCKING YES!!! Seriously, where the fuck was she!? She could have been a real help!), and the episode ends with a song. I wouldn’t call it a musical number, because it’s just a simple love song, and it’s pretty awesome too, what bugs me is that Twilight sings it for no apparent reason. Do most wedding receptions have karaoke!? When I get married, I want the reception to feature karaoke! That’ll be fun!!! Me and my bride will open the party with a duet because we fucking can!!!

Anyway, back on track. A few things to note, we see Soarin dancing with Rainbow Dash, and if you’ll notice, his cutie mark is the Wonderbolts logo. Which tells me his special talent is being a Wonderbolt! That is sad bro! Not flying really fast, being a Wonderbolt. Anyway, we also see Spike and Sweetie Belle dancing, and as someone who just recently started writing a romance fic with these two, that made me so happy.

I want to see this song released in full, online! Get on that Hasbro!

Rarity catches the bouquet, and the episode ends with Spike confirming he has no idea what a bachelor party is.

I’ll have to let it settle to be certain, but this is probably one of my favourite episodes, and must make it on the next DVD compilation, Hasbro!!!

So that was the season finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and with that, we end this season.

There’s not much else to say. I’m now in the position of coming up with non-pony stuff to fill this blog with. I’m a little saddened by that. Perhaps I can look back at last season. Though I know someone else who is already doing that, and I don’t want to step on her toes.

I’m on the verge of tears, my friends. I’m going to miss this show. Hopefully I’ll manage. I’ll see you all next season! Cheers!

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5 responses to “Wedding of the Dead: “A Canterlot Wedding” review

  1. Great review! Although I still don’t really understand what you mean ‘ straight songs.’ As in songs who like songs of the opposite gender?

    • Okay, well first off, I never used the term ‘straight songs,’ so I don’t know where you’re getting that. But what I meant was musical numbers that were played straight, with no one going ‘what the fuck!?’

      For examples of non-straight songs, see: She’s an Evil Enchantress; the CMC theme song; You Got to Share, You Got to Care; Pinkie’s Singing Telegram; and Pinkie’s two musical numbers during Best Night Ever where everypony looked at the girl like she was insane.

    • Yeah, I knew that, I just wanted to keep calling her Evil Cadance.

      Actually, scratch that, I should have called her Zombie Cadance.

      Anyway, this was a review of the episode, so I just didn’t want to include info that was outside the episode.

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