Unicorn’s End: “Magical Mystery Cure” review

…I am not happy.

I am not thrilled, or amused in the slightest.

I think the only word I could use to describe my current outlook is: disappointment.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Today was the day the bronies have been waiting for. For something I already commented on a few weeks ago. Today was the third season finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, where Twilight Sparkle evolves into Princess Twilight Sparkle, after her friends use the Harmony Stone on her.

Honestly, I was kinda looking forward to this, because given the summary we were treated to, it seemed interesting. The whole ‘switching cutie mark’ thing felt like it would go in an interesting direction. And… well… It did, but in a way that made me very angry.

This is gonna take a while to explain.

First, let’s watch the episode:

Okay, that wasn’t the episode, but I wish it was. Because that would’ve been a lot better than what we got.

I’m sorry, I really should explain this. But it would mean rewatching the episode and I really don’t want to do that. It was painful enough the first time. And remember, this is coming from a fan of the show!

Sigh… here we go.

We open cold, as we normally do, and with a big musical number. Twilight Sparkle is waking up, and starts the day with a song saying everything’s going to be fine.

Some interesting lines here, like “there’s the sofa clerk selling some quills.” Yep, that’s the Ponyville I love! She also says things never go wrong here… What? I’d link to a specific episode at this point, but picking less than twelve is going to be a problem.

But here’s my issue: The song is completely unprovoked. Is this part of her morning routine? Does she do this everyday? I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten old. Maybe it has. The scene ends with Twilight getting dumped on by a crap-ton of water. Then Rarity apologizes for her little accident, as she uses her magic to move some clouds around, and we see that, somehow, she has Rainbow’s cutie mark.

Alright, we’re hitting the ground running and are quickly jumped into the A plot, and I’m ex-Wait… what!?

Unicorns can control the weather? How’s that now? I am so confused. If unicorns can control the weather, why do they need the pegasi?

It was clearly established in Hearth’s Warming Eve that the three pony races each have a role that only they can fill. The earth ponies farm, the unicorns move the sun and moon (a job we can assume was later isolated to the royals), and the pegasi control the weather. But now we learn the unicorns can control the weather as well. Can they also farm? Can earth ponies also move clouds? What if they have a big enough ladder? Can a pegasus do magic? Well if a zebra can, why not!?

This is… odd.

Alright, let’s move on. So Rarity can control the weather, and it’s now her special talent! Which means she’s as good at controlling the weather as she was at fashion design. Right?

Well, no, she actually sucks at it. Covering the entire area in rain and pissing everyone off. Though it is pretty. She placed the clouds in a checkerboard pattern, which I kinda like.

Twilight is confused, she asks Rarity what’s going on, and why her cutie mark has changed. Rarity is confused, this is something she’s always done, and she’s always had that cutie mark. Okay, what the hell?

Twilight goes to intercept Rainbow Dash, who now resides at her cottage at the far side of town. It’s actually Fluttershy’s cottage. Rainbow now has Fluttershy’s cutie mark and is chasing all the animals around the house. Okay, what!? Again, she sucks at it. This makes no sense.

So we quickly learn what’s going on, in a big musical number. Each of Twilight’s friends have gotten somepony else’s cutie mark. Fluttershy now has Pinkie Pie’s mark, Pinkie has Applejack’s mark, and Applejack has Rarity’s mark; so the marks basically cycled; and each of them are now living at the home of their cutie mark. So far it may not sound too bad, despite the fact that Rarity is now homeless since she can’t live in a cloud house. But I haven’t really gotten to the stupid part yet.

Each of them are convinced that, despite the fact that they each suck at their ‘special talent,’ and don’t really appear to enjoy their jobs, they have to do it anyway because it’s what their cutie mark says. Okay, first off, that makes no sense. If your cutie mark says your special talent is something you really suck at, I highly doubt, unless you’re a complete idiot, you won’t notice something is up. Especially since their marks were completely different yesterday.

Okay, their memories were altered, fine. But that just raises more questions. If their memories were altered to fit their new marks, then they likely have memories of doing these tasks for years and being good at them. Or at least getting good at them. So why not just build off that?

See, this makes no sense! It’s completely illogical. I know some will say it’s a kids show, and I’ll give them that. As a kids show, watched by kids who will not notice these gaping plot holes, it’s fine. The problem is, I’ve never judged My Little Pony as a kid’s show, and I’m not about to now. I’ve always judged this as a comedy that can be enjoyed by adults, and in the past it has held up. But it hasn’t today.

I know what you’re going to say: “Well, what exactly did you expect?” I’ll tell you what I expected: I expected the cutie mark switch to give them the required special talent and accompanying skill-set, causing them to lose their former skill-set. Perhaps their memories would change as well, but in that respect, it could work either way. But more than anything, they would be miserable. Perhaps the plot could skip ahead a week, and we’d see them excelling at their new positions, but finding their new roles boring, frustrating, exhausting, or insipid. So they need to change everything back, if only for the sake of their own sanity.

I know it’s stupid to be upset that the episode is not what I expected. But that’s not why I’m upset. I’m upset the episode was so fucking stupid, and that it could have worked, and I could see how it would have worked, but they didn’t go in that direction.

So, anyway, to reiterate. They say that in spite of the fact that they suck at these new roles, it has to be what they’re destined for, because it matches their cutie marks. I’m gonna have to come back to this.

An appropriately panicky Twilight… actually, scratch that, she’s inappropriately calm. She’s still panicky, just nowhere near the level she should be.

Anyway, Twilight returns to the Library, and quickly figures out what happened. The night before, she received a letter from Celestia, and an old spell book. It came through the normal post service, and Twilight closes the door on the postman’s face before she could sign for it. She’s a moron isn’t she?

Actually, hold on. Why didn’t it come through the designated Spike? He seemed to be perfectly capable of sending things other than scrolls in the past. Gala tickets, bottles of ink, why not a book?

Anyway, yeah, the book. It’s the same book we saw at the end of the premiere, that Luna pulled out of nowhere. Here’s a question: Why did they wait until now to send it to her? I don’t think anything happened since then that was required for her to be able to solve this little puzzle.

It was written by Starswirl the Bearded. Oh, I’m so glad they brought him into this, but I’ll get to that later. Anyway, the last page contains an unfinished spell. She wants Twilight to finish the job, and says she’s the only pony who can do it. I’m gonna come back to this too!

Anyway, here’s the spell:

From one to another, another to one.
A mark of one’s destiny, singled out alone.
Fulfilled…

Yep, that’s unfinished. The second line refers to cutie marks, and the first line obviously mentions them rotating or something. So we find our culprit! The unfinished spell did it. But why? First off, what was the spell’s intended purpose, and why did it do that? And second, why did it switch the team’s marks when they were nowhere near Twilight?

Well, we have the answer to the second one. Turns out, she inadvertently cast the spell on the Elements of Harmony, which were sitting in a glass box, like a museum artifact, right in the middle of the library. And of course, since the Elements are permanently tied to their bearers, it affected them too.

Now, we can assume that Twilight was immune since she’s the one who cast the spell, and it couldn’t really alter her special talent while she was using her special talent. But we run into a major problem here: Why were the elements out in the open like that!?

Hey, Twilight. You’ve placed a weapon of mass destruction and Equestria’s last line of defence in the middle of the Ponyville Public Library! Does that sound secure to you!? You don’t have a vault? Some type of fire safe!? Remember that hidden compartment Spike found earlier in the season? That would have been a perfect hiding spot. What the fuck are you on!? I guess if you keep them out in the open you’d notice immediately if they were stolen. But if someone did want to steal them, they’d be able to do it pretty quickly. And, if you hid them, you’d still notice them stolen because a single book would be out-of-place. So it’s a bit of a moot point isn’t it?

So, Twilight takes a good look at the elements, and we see that the colours have all changed. Obviously the colours correspond to their cutie marks, and the shape to the individual pony. Which doesn’t make a lick of sense since the elements are each in the shape of the cutie marks, but I don’t care. It doesn’t matter, and really isn’t relevant.

So Spike offers up some solutions. There is no designated counter-spell, since the original spell was unfinished. And Twilight says the deus ex machina from the season two premiere won’t work since their memories weren’t altered, but their ‘true selves.’ Well, not… really. Their true selves are still there, since they obviously suck at whatever their ‘destinies’ are. The only thing that changed with their cutie marks are their memories. So a memory spell would work. Besides, since we are basically a collection of memories, you restore that, everything else comes with. Okay, there’s also things like brain structure, but you’re at least halfway there.

Spike then says they’ll just learn to enjoy their new talents. Well, we’ve already established that that’s not the case. But Twilight says their destinies have changed, and they’re not who they were meant to be, and whatever. I assume if one actually believes in destiny, that actually makes sense. But I don’t, so it doesn’t.

Twilight sobs another musical number overtop what I assume are flashforwards. Pinkie tries to buck a tree at Sweet Apple Acres, now a desolate wasteland; Rarity’s weather is shunned by the townsfolk; Applejack is closing up Carousel Boutique, because business is shit I guess; Rainbow’s animals are running amuck, while she mopes; and the townsfolk are fighting because Fluttershy can’t make them laugh.

Okay, we got a few problems here. First of all: This is Rainbow Dash. Would she really wallow in self-pity because she can’t control the animals? No! She’s not that much of a pushover! She’d demand they listen to her and sure, it probably wouldn’t work, but she wouldn’t give up! She’d never give up!

Then we have another problem. Is the mental health of the entire town dependant on one pony making them laugh!? That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! It’s almost as ridiculous as saying two ponies are solely responsible for the education and nutrition of an entire town! Of course that was mentioned before, and at that time, a little kid was saying it, so she was allowed to fuck it up.

Then, with a bit of a pep talk from Spike, Twilight stops sulking and starts searching for a solution. Then, she starts glowing for some inexplicable reason, her cutie mark appears in her eyes, for an even less explicable reason, and she declares that she found a solution! She’s gonna show each pony how their friend is struggling, and each of them in turn will find their true talent as they do so.

…So, you’re gonna remind them of their true talent? Didn’t you just say it wasn’t their memories that were altered?

Oh fuck it! She then brings the Elements with her, for some reason.

Intercepting Fluttershy first, just as she’s about to leave town, they tell her she needs to help Rainbow Dash with her animals. Fluttershy says she knows nothing about animals. So, just so we’re clear, Twilight: They’re memories were not affected?

But Fluttershy still wants to help her friend, so they book it to Rainbow Dash’s cottage, where they find her about to be cooked in a pot. Holy shit! This show got pretty dark!

Fluttershy tries to pacify the creatures, and is very successful. She even pulls out some food to feed them. She starts glowing, and discovers her special talent, regaining her original cutie mark!

Okay. Two weeks ago, I hinted at another horrifying lesson in the series that I think I should deal with now: Talent doesn’t work that way!!!

Let us be clear: there is no such thing as ‘talent.’ At least, not in the way most people think. No one is born good at anything. It takes years to get good at stuff. Do you honestly think world-famous guitarist, Slash, just woke up one day, picked up a guitar, and immediately started playing some sweet licks!? NO! When he started playing, I’m willing to bet he sucked as much as anyone! But he got better. How? By playing the guitar. It’s also known as ‘practising.’ Now, why did he do this? Because he loved it. He loved playing the guitar, so he played the guitar, and became one of the greatest guitarists in history. Notice I said ‘one of,’ because I don’t want to get into some type of flame war.

Now, some may say this sorta fits well with this week’s episode, except it doesn’t, since, while the main characters still have their original talents, they don’t have any memories of how they developed, which means they never developed.

Now, let’s go back to the song. Why are they claiming that this must be their destiny if they don’t enjoy it? Because their cutie marks say so? Well, how did they get the marks? Do they remember being good at it? Why aren’t they good at it now? Shouldn’t they notice something’s amiss!? All cutie marks on the show have matched with something the pony enjoys. Which is why they’re good at it. This is a bit incongruous with what we see during this episode. Is it not?

Now, this is not a new thing on the show. Let’s look at the Cutie Mark Crusaders for a second.

The Crusaders

How have these adorable little filles been going about their search for their cutie marks? By throwing a bunch of shit at a wall and seeing what sticks. Why hasn’t anyone told them the truth, that no one is born good at anything, they have to get good at it. They have to learn their skills, and they should start by finding what they enjoy, and sticking with it.

Okay, to a certain extent, we already see this. They suck at everything, which makes sense. And Twilight once told them to go after what they enjoy. Which they did, and it ended terribly. But why hasn’t anyone told them they wouldn’t be good at anything unless they practice!? Instead we see them continue on their fruitless quest, and giving up on the things they enjoy because they find they’re not good at them instantly.

These kids are going nowhere fast, and no one is helping them.

So, anyway, back to the episode. Fluttershy re-earns her mark and Twilight gets the Element of Kindness on her, for some reason. The reason is never explained. Then, her original memories are restored, but it’s hard to tell whether it’s the element, or the cutie mark that does that.

Remind me again why the memory spell wouldn’t have worked? Not that I’m complaining per say, it was a stupid spell to begin with.

They drag Rainbow over to Rarity, who’s still failing to handle the local weather. Rainbow busts the clouds, starts to glow, Twilight gets the element on her, and her memories and cutie mark are restored, and I’m still confused.

Dragging Rarity over to Carousel, with boarded up windows, they-wait… That wasn’t a flashforward? During Twilight’s depressing song, all that actually happened at that time!? Then why was Sweet Apple Acres a wasteland? Pinkie’s presence destroyed the farm in less than a day!? Wow, she really does suck at it!

Anyway, Rarity makes a few dresses, glows, Element, memories, cutie mark, rinse, repeat.

Then we get to Sweet Apple Acres, and yeah, it’s a wasteland! How did that happen!? It’s gonna take months to regrow all the plants! Oh, no. Applejack starts farming and all the trees are restored. Da hell!?

Big Mac and Apple Bloom join in, which begs the question: where were they while Pinkie was running the place? Why didn’t they try to talk some sense into this crazy mare!

Applejack get’s her mark back, and they drag Pinkie to the centre of town to cheer the ponies up. Then, before she even does anything, she starts to glow, they put the element on her, blah blah blah, what the hell!?

For the others, they had to use their true talents before they got their marks back. For Pinkie it happens in reverse. Why?

Well, on the bright side, at least the solution isn’t cheap. Like it was when she did use the memory spell. It’s confusing, sure, but it’s not cheap.

Then, Twilight levitates the group all together in a magical group hug. Fucking show-off.

At that moment, she suddenly has an epiphany. They return to the library, and she finishes the spell.

From one to another, another to one.
A mark of one’s destiny, singled out alone.
Fulfilled…
From all of us together, together we’re friends.
With the marks of our destinies made one.
There is magic without end.

I’m… so confused. What kind of spell is this?

Anyway, the moment she finishes the spell, writing down the final lines, the elements activate, focusing on Twilight herself. We see Cyclops’ eye beams shooting her from five different angles, and encasing her in a sphere of energy. When it finally dissipates, we see the spot she was standing in, blackened and smouldering.

So once again, Twilight’s dead, and the episode ends. Goodnight everybrony!

Oh, damn it, it’s not over. We see Twilight floating in a starry void.

Celestia arrives and congratulates her on her accomplishment. What accomplishment? Suicide?

No, she did something that’s never been done before, by anypony. Not even Starswirl the Bearded was successful. She managed to complete the spell.

Wait… okay. Let’s go over the facts, shall we? Starswirl lived a very long time ago. In Hearth’s Warming Eve it’s clearly established that he was the mentor of Clover the Clever, who was around during the founding of Equestria. The founding of Equestria predates the reign of Celestia and/or Luna. Now, we know both of them ruled Equestria one thousand years ago when one of them was banished to the moon. So that means that Starswirl lived at least one thousand years ago. At minimum, this book is 900 years old… Minimum! No one found out how to complete the spell before now?

Well, we do get a reason. Because no one ever understood friendship like she did.

THAT MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE!!!

In the past 900 years, Twilight was the first pony to have friends? She was the first to understand what it meant to be a friend? Not even Celestia understood friendship!? She never had friends!? What the hell!?

I’m sorry, this makes no sense, and is completely incongruous with established canon. Equestria is a land founded on friendship. That’s what Hearth’s Warming Eve was about! But no one was able to use their knowledge of friendship to complete the spell!? I find that very hard to believe.

So the two of them trot through a clip show, and Celestia explains it’s now time for a major change. I think we all see what’s coming.

Meanwhile, in the skies above Ponyville, we see Twilight’s cutie mark appear quite randomly. And no, I don’t mean a constellation that sorta looks like her cutie mark. I mean the actual fucking mark. Colour accurate and everything. Like someone threw a billboard up there. And for some reason, her friends are already outside witnessing it. Why did they leave the library? Did they see the glow? Did they think: Well Twilight’s dead, let’s go home? Did I flip over two pages at once? What happened!?

The billboard lowers to the ground and transforms into Twilight. Okay, how did that happen, and why was it necessary? Why did she need to go to the void, and why did she return in billboard form?

I read a theory on twitter that Twilight actually did die and Celestia brought her back to life like a pony Jesus. I like that theory, let’s stick with it. Though still, not even Jesus was that showy.

She gets to her hooves and spreads her wings. Oh, yeah, she grew wings. Good for her, I guess. But what bugs me is the smug look she has on her face.

Princess Smuglight

The girls react with mixed emotions. Applejack is perplexed. Rainbow is excited, saying she has a new flying buddy. And Rarity says she didn’t know it was possible to transform into an alicorn. Which sort of supports my premise from two weeks ago that alicorns are a separate race. Since if alicorns were just one of the standard three varieties that are later transformed, you’d think she’d know that. This is Rarity we’re talking about, she pays attention to that stuff.

Anyway, Pinkie wants to throw a party, and Fluttershy comments that she looks like a Princess. Then Celestia arrives, saying she is a princess.

Wait. Why? I mean, is she a princess because she’s an alicorn? Or is she an alicorn because she’s a princess?

I must have missed something here!

So Celestia then explains exactly why she’s a princess. Because she embodies each of the five elements, plus leadership, and that makes her princess material.

Okay, hold on. Twilight’s a leader? I mean granted she’s led the gang through so many trials. But that’s not really more than a hobby. Isn’t it? I bring this up because looking at the rest of the group, we have Rainbow Dash, whose job is leading the local weather team. There’s Applejack who manages Sweet Apple Acres, and on at least one occasion has managed the replanting of all the plants in town during Winter Wrap-up. Then there’s Fluttershy, who leads all the town’s little animals.

Basically, I’m saying there are much better leaders within the group. Which begs the question: why only her?

No, I’m serious, why is Twilight the only one worthy of princess-dom? Any of the other five seem just as worthy, so this makes little sense! Now, one might be able to find reasons for them to get disqualified. But I can find reasons to disqualify Twilight too! She’s a nervous wreck for starters! Why do I say this? Well, Swarm of the Century, Green Isn’t Your Color, A Bird in the Hoof, Lesson Zero, Secret of My Excess, It’s About Time, A Canterlot Wedding, and even The Crystal Empire have all featured Twilight losing her mind in some way.

This is who she is, this is her character. I don’t have a problem with that. But I do have a problem with Celestia thinking it’s okay to give a pony with an anxiety disorder a position of power. It makes no sense!!!

Of course, I’ve already been over this. But I feel it needs repeating.

Yes, last week she maintained her composure, thanks to some simple breathing exercises. But that wasn’t a major crisis. That was a minor event. Worst case scenario, the Crystal Empire wouldn’t host the games. They’d still be alive, so it really isn’t a big deal, especially compared to the season premiere. There have been worse crises, and Twilight has a history of mental illness. Is it really a good idea to give her such responsibilities?

Moving on, we learn that Twilight is upset, and she asks if she’ll remain Celestia’s student. Um… Twilight. You’re graduating, this is not a bad thing, you idiot. She didn’t honestly think she’d remain a student forever did she?

Jeez. My head.

But Celestia explains that it’s not entirely true. She’ll still be Celestia’s student, but Celestia will also be her student. Um… what? I’ve never been more confused. She’s gonna teach Celestia about friendship I guess, but doesn’t Celestia already know this stuff? Has she never had friends before!? What the hell!?

Then she says, “You’re an inspiration to us all, Twilight.” WHY!? WHAT!? WHY!? WHAT DID SHE DO!? WHY!?

Fast forward a bit, we are now in Canterlot, for Twilight’s coronation ceremony, and even Luna shows up for the first time at one of these things. Yeah, we haven’t seen her in a while have we? We also see Celestia wearing a humongous, and gaudy crown we’ve never seen before. Is it supposed to represent her position as ruler of Equestria? Well, isn’t Luna also ruler of Equestria? Are they not equals? Because that’s exactly what was established during the series premiere. Yet her crown is much smaller. What the hell?

Anyway, Celestia gives another explanation for Twilight’s ascension. Because she created ‘new magic,’ and that proves, ‘without a doubt,’ that she’s princess material.

Oh, boy. Here we see a few problems pop up. First of all, it was established in Luna Eclipsed that Starswirl the Bearded is the “Father of the Amniomorphic Spell.” So back then, he managed to create ‘new magic.’ Right? Okay, well, why isn’t he ever referred to as a Prince?

On that note, Prince Blueblood. A right asshole, granted. But he’s a prince. So why didn’t he get wings when he created ‘new magic’? Some may say the same thing about Prince Shining Armor, but he married into royalty, so I’ll let that slide. But Blueblood is most certainly single. If he wasn’t, I doubt Rarity would have hit on him. Could there be another way to enter royalty? Possibly. Let’s assume so, because otherwise, we run into some major problems with sexism.

But that’s not to mention the biggest problem. You can only become a princess if you create ‘new magic.’ Implying that only unicorns can reach this rank. That’s right, pegasi and earth ponies are verboten! Only unicorns are allowed to be royalty. Goddamn it, I had a feeling we’d have problems with racism here, but this is worse than I thought! Again, to be charitable, let’s assume there are other ways to become a princess for the other races. For instance if a pegasus creates a new flying technique, or an earth pony creates a new plant.

Actually, we can even argue that pegasi and earth ponies can create new magic, since it appears that unicorns can manipulate the weather.

But then we reach a new problem. Every time a pony creates ‘new magic,’ they become a princess? Ho boy, that’s gonna be a problem. After all, I’m pretty sure Twilight’s not the only unicorn working in academia. There are probably dozens of unicorns working on new spells every day. Assuming their society advances at all!

So does this mean that for every spell in every spell book, there is a unicorn that has ascended to royalty? Alright, granted, it’s possible that one unicorn can create multiple spells. But I find that highly unlikely considering that creating one spell is apparently such a big deal.

Twilight creates one spell, and that’s enough of an accomplishment to get her promoted to Princess, and get Celestia to start kissing her flank! I find it highly unlikely that she’s gonna create a second if it’s so hard to create the first one!

And didn’t Rarity create her gem-finding spell? She’s the one who taught it to Twilight. Neither one of them read it in a book. I think it’s safe to assume it’s her own original spell. So why isn’t she a princess?

So, yeah, they officially broke the universe.

Then, we have the final Aesop. Where Twilight says she’s so happy she made friends, since it made her a princess. Oh, fuck you.

Yeah, she’s not happy she has friends because she enjoys their company, but because it made her a princess. I hate this show.

…oh… Did I just type that?

Holy shit I did!

I used to love this show. It was my favourite piece of televised entertainment, and now…

Maybe it was just a heat of the moment thing. Let me think this through.

Perhaps I’m misinterpreting things. Perhaps what she really meant was: She’s glad she has friends for several reasons, and one of them just happens to be, they taught her everything she needed to become a princess. Yeah, let’s go with that. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than what I had earlier.

She has a quick chat with her brother, and is suddenly pulled down the street in a giant, gaudy carriage, because her legs apparently broke. Twilight then flies toward the camera, saying ‘everything’s gonna be just fine.’ Which I assume is directed toward the raging bronies

Oh, I’m sure it will be. Unfortunately, this season wasn’t ‘just fine.’ It was terrible. And now that it’s over, I can definitively say, I’m horrified.

What the hell happened!? Was half the writing staff lobotomized!?

This really bugs the hell out of me. Before this episode began I was hoping I would be able to, if nothing else, say the episode was well written, and any problems could be easily blamed on the Hasbro execs, and that M.A. Larson tried the best with what he had. I thought I’d be able to put the man in a criticism-proof bubble, like MovieBob did to Jackie Earle Haley. But I can’t. And… it makes me cry.

I know M.A. Larson is a good writer. He wrote my favourite episode this season, Magic Dual. An episode I thought would be terrible, yet wasn’t. In fact, some of my favourite episodes in season one and two were also written by Larson. So I know he can do better. But he didn’t.

And it’s not just him. Meghan McCarthy, who wrote Dragonshy, Hearts and Hooves Day, and A Canterlot Wedding, also wrote this season’s premiere. Which was terrible.

I said after the premiere that I was going to forgive its various problems, since I presumed that they were merely setting up questions that were going to be answered some time this season, developing some type of arc. Well, the season’s over and we didn’t get any of that. Sombra’s still a blank slate. Okay, all the other questions were answered… at the end of the season. Very little point to all the episodes in between. Okay, Keep Calm and Flutter On placed the Elements in Twilight’s custody. But still, the alicorn Amulet didn’t play a role, Trixie didn’t play a role. Nothing within the Crystal Empire mattered at all. The Mirror Pool, Luna’s dream powers, Babs Seed, Spike’s Dragon Code, none of it played any role in the season finale. And we didn’t see Discord at all! Why was he released!?

I just don’t understand what happened. And I feel kinda sad. I don’t think this show should make me sad.

I wanted this episode to be good. I wanted it to prove that even with a crap idea, like Twilight becoming an alicorn princess, a good writer could make it work. But all it did was prove that even a good idea, like the main characters all switching cutie marks, can be terribly executed, even by a good writer.

I don’t know if the staff just stopped caring, and started to rest on its laurels. But I hope that’s not the case. I hope they’re not that arrogant. I hope there’s another explanation. And I hope next season, the show will be back on top, and will start to make me happy again.

But since we’re here, let’s quickly talk about next season.

Of course, no news yet… on the actual show. But we do have this:

A single concept image that was leaked from DHX, I think. Of course, this was just an unconfirmed rumour. No official word came out on what this was for. Initially, people were saying it was for the MLP Movie, and it would feature the ponies entering our world for whatever reason and becoming human.

Of course, it was just a rumour. Unsubstantiated, and likely a hoax by someone who wanted to mess with the brony community.

But of course, it wasn’t long before more news was released. Turns out this wouldn’t be for a movie, but a whole new spin-off series entitled, “Equestria Girls.”

Now, some fans, including some who directed me to the rumour, were incensed that something like this would happen! It’s gonna be terrible! They’re going to ruin My Little Pony! And I kind of agreed with them a little bit. But since then, I took a different perspective. This show might actually be good.

I’ve said since the beginning that the show’s quality was inconsequential to the branding. The characters are what make My Little Pony great, not their species. You could completely redo the show with gerbils and it’d still be amazing. So I have no problem with this Equestria Girls announcement. I’m actually looking forward to it. I’m very curious to see why they would arrive in the human world, and what they would do once they’re here.

Some have suggested that it will be a throwback to G3.5. I haven’t seen it, but apparently it was loaded with girly stereotypes. Well, if it’s the same characters, I doubt that’ll happen. If the production staff has any sense, we’ll see the same action set pieces we’ve come to appreciate, and some slice of life episodes featuring the former ponies adjusting to human life.

Of course if it turns out they’re just humans who have always been humans, and just, by coincidence, have the same names and personalities as our heroes, I’ll be slightly less interested.

Yes, apparently it takes place in a high school. But, so did My Life as a Teenage Robot, and that show was awesome!

And the show will have a completely new team at the helm, with new writers. Well, considering how this season went, that’s probably a good thing. Get some fresh blood in the franchise, I’d love to see where this goes. And if you’re hiring…

But, that’s not to say it’s all sunshine and roses. Let’s take another look at these girls:

The Equestria Girls!

Take a look, take a good look. Oh, that’s not enough? How about this:

The Trixie Girl!

Notice any problems? Well allow me to spell it out: Those are not normal skin colours!

Pinkie and Applejack are fine… probably. But Rainbow Dash and Trixie are oxygen deprived; Rarity needs to get out in the sun for once in her life; I don’t know what’s happened to Twilight, maybe she fell in a vat of red wine; and Fluttershy is jaundiced! The hair’s fine, the clothes… sure… But the skin… shit. I’m sorry, I just don’t think I’ve ever seen something so… horrific. If they’re trying to blend in on earth, they’re gonna have a very hard time. So… yeah, change the skin colours to something a bit more… human.

But all in all, I have to say, I’m kinda excited for the new Equestria Girls series. If nothing else, it’ll be a change of pace, and that’s always a good thing.

Trying new things, well that’s always fun. You gotta be willing to give everything a chance and challenge your pre-conceived notions. Hell, the entire brony community is built on people who challenged their preconceptions, and gave the show a chance. Are we gonna abandon that philosophy now!? Hell no!

Equestria Girls will premiere this spring, and the next season of My Little Pony, well we’ll probably be seeing it this coming September. I’m gonna watch it, I can tell you that. Even though this season was terrible, even though Princess Sparkle’s introduction was horrific, it could still… be… good. And I’m gonna give it a chance.

It’s also worth noting that, according to Meghan McCarthy, who was also this season’s story editor, this episode was just part one of a three-parter. We’ll see the rest at the beginning of next season.

I hope they don’t decide to reverse the Princess Twilight thing. That could go places. But it is a possibility. Especially given the fan outrage. I know I’ve been part of the outrage, but I think, at the very least, they should own it, and not backtrack.

But, let’s see where this goes. It’s exciting times people. To some that’s a curse. To me, it’s a reason for living.

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66 responses to “Unicorn’s End: “Magical Mystery Cure” review

      • Well I pretty much just found this article in your signature on deviant art. I haven’t seen any of your other articles, or even been on this site before, and if you said you already dealt with it, then I would have read it. When I see Mormon racism, I am going to think it’s an article on Mormons, and again, it doesn’t have anything to do with ponies, because it’s not the same as human racism, so kids aren’t going to learn racism from it. You don’t have to be so rude about it. I was just going from what you had previously said.

        “Hmmm… interesting. Especially this part: “She also tweeted after the hype machine kicked into gear that this wasn’t in her plan, so that seems to imply that this would have happened at some point in time, but not in the middle of the series’ run.”

        Well you seem to have ignored what I said before. I said that this was not the initial idea at the very start, but by the time the first episode was made, it was the plan. Did you remember that at all?

        • I figured as much, that’s why I gave you a link to it. Here it is again!

          Now, I called it ‘Mormon Racism’ because they’re the only other group to utilize this specific brand of racism. No other reason.

          And now we’re going in circles. Fine, it was the plan from the beginning! I’ll give you that! I don’t care! I mean, I’m glad you gave me the information. It is interesting. But it doesn’t matter with regards to this episode.

  1. Half the things in this review don’t even make sense.

    Rarity would be able to use weather magic obviously. IT is told that unicorns can learn magic that corresponds with their talent. So if a unicorn had a talent for weather, than they would know a spell for it. The only reason this isn’t more common is that pegasi control weather so unicorns don’t half to. Since Rarity was given a talent that wasn’t hers, she would gain the spell needed to do it. Plus it only shows she can move clouds, Rainbow Dash also needs to get rid of them.

    Rainbow Dash would obviously be down, and not fighting with the animals. A person can only go for so long. She would fight and fight for a long time, but everyone has a breaking point. How long do you expect she would keep that up? She can’t just go on like that indefinitely. She can go on for a very long time probably, but she has to get exhausted eventually.

    This is Equestria we are talking about, it doesn’t work in the same way our universe works. If a pony has a destined talent, then they will be good at it. Fluttershy instantly had a connection with animals that moment she found them. She didn’t have to do a bunch of training, if any at all. You just have to find what you are naturally gifted in. you can’t just apply our human logic to ponies. We have to train to get good at what we do, while they are already destined to do it. Whether you believe in destiny or not, that’s how it works in Equestria.

    Twilight didn’t just need to understand friendship to get the spell and become a princess. By that logic anyone could figure out the spell. She had very powerful magic. It was a powerful spell after all, and unlike other unicorns who only have basic magic like telekinesis, and set magic for their special talent, Twilight’s talent IS magic. She was the only one powerful enough to make the spell work. Even if Celestia did know friendship like Twilight did, it would have done her no good to finish the spell, as she is already an alicorn, and needed a successor. Twilight is the one who needed to do it because no one like her existed before. Someone extremely skilled in magic, but didn’t have some sort of superiority complex, like they were too good for friends and thought they should be king instead, like Sombra, or was just the antisocial pony Twilight was

    There are different ways to gain nobility. Whether it be by marrying into it like Shining Armor, born into it like Blueblood, or crowned nobility by a higher power like Twilight. also alicorns are either born in some cases, or, and this is a theory, reach a state of enlightenment, like Buddhism. Twilight performed the spell she needed to do this.

    Keep in mind, this is a theory I have been researching and working on. Hearth’s warming eve took place after Luna was banished, and after Discord was imprisoned. The flag in the end show’s both Luna and Celestia, so they had to have known, or heard tales of them. I think Celestia, being distraught with having to banish her own sister and not being the wise, benevolent leader she is today, fled in a state of sorrow and guilt. Te three tribes had to fend for themselves, which turned out not so great, but once they learned to get along, they started the knew kingdom of equestria. Celestia eventually came back, finally ready to take back leadership, and was given the title of princess once again.

    Of course their memories weren’t their own. The spell didn’t change history, it didn’t change the town, it only changed er friends. If it changed history then they would have given up a long time ago. If it changed the town, then everyone would have been able to get along just fine with Pinkie, she indulges them, so they are not used to the feeling of not being indulged. The memory spell can only bring out suppressed memories that have been buried. There memories were completely gone, the only way they could get them is with something that previously housed a part of them so it would be their elements of harmony. They might have realized that what they did might not be what they are supposed to do, and it is in fact something else, but after that, all they could do is go on living a different life, without any of their previous memories. Fluttershy was the only one who decided to give up, Applejack was almost on the verge of giving up, and after only awhile of having these new lives. It might be hard to understand, but even if they were given memories of doing these things, they still have only been at it for awhile.

    Twilight created a new kind of MAGIC, not spell. If it was a spell she created, she wouldn’t have even been given any credit, she only finished a spell, Starswirl is the one who made the spell in the first place. If he was the antisocial pony Twilight is, then it makes sense he couldn’t do it. Twilight was the only one who could do it, because she had the raw, magical ability, and the knowledge of true friendship, something that anyone had one or the other of, but not both before. She had only truly realized this when you saw her cutie mark flash in her eyes. In the very second episode, the scene where she had the small twinkle in her eye is when she started to realize what friendship meant. Once she learned the true value of it, the twinkle grew to her cutiemark.

    There are plenty more things I can think of wrong with this review, but I think this will do for now

    There are things wrong with this episode, things that are hard to understand, but over half of this review is making something out of nothing. There are only a handful of really good point. And to say you know hate the show because of one episode questions your dedication and faith to the show to begin with. I understand you not liking it and thinking it’s bad, but to completely give up on the show? That seems a bit drastic. I knew there were problems, and the episode was not as good as expected, but I won’t just hate the sow over nothing.

    • I think what happened during the cutie mark episode was that Fluttershy discovered she loved taking care of animals, not that she was born good at it. Even then, if they’re born good at whatever their special talent is, then why were they not good at it during the cutie mark switch?

      “We have to train to get good at what we do, while they are already destined to do it.”

      That’s a good point isn’t it. But this is a kids show, and a child watching it won’t see that disparity. You have to outright tell them there’s a difference. My point is, this sends the wrong message to the target audience. That lesson is very inappropriate for children.

      “she is already an alicorn, and needed a successor.”

      …So you’re saying the immortal alicorn is going to need someone to inherit the throne?

      True, she might not be immortal, but she is over a thousand years old. I highly doubt she’s gonna finally kick it in the next hundred years.

      “Hearth’s warming eve took place after Luna was banished, and after Discord was imprisoned.”

      It’s clearly stated that the events occurred long before Celestia and Luna’s reign. So unless you’re presuming Spike outright lied, you don’t have a leg to stand on.

      The flag is an issue, which I’ve already been over. But it’s a modern retelling of the event, so we can argue artistic licence, and that the original flag was lost, or they didn’t have one.

      Now, your explanation of the memory spell, and the reasoning for the use of the elements might make sense. Now, if only they included that in the episode, rather than just waiting for a fan to figure it out.

      Rarity clearly said that she’s always been manipulating the weather. She hadn’t ‘only been at it for awhile.’ It’s something she’s been doing for years, according to her own memory. She’s been sucking at weather manipulation for years!!!

      Finally, I never said I hate the show… okay, I did, but I don’t I… CONTEXT! There was context that you appear to have ignored. I don’t hate the show. I wish I did, it’d make my life a lot easier.

      • “Rarity clearly said that she’s always been manipulating the weather. She hadn’t ‘only been at it for awhile.’ It’s something she’s been doing for years, according to her own memory. She’s been sucking at weather manipulation for years!!!”

        It was implied that their memories were of having actual skill in their swapped talents. Rarity thinks she’s been manipulating the weather reasonably well for years; she’s just suddenly not good at it any more *today*, because although her memories indicate she’s good at it, her actual skill doesn’t correspond.

        “Fluttershy: I’m moving back to Cloudsdale. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I can’t seem to make anypony laugh.”

        Flutters remembers having been good at this stuff and so assumes that something’s gone wrong today, you see?

      • Well Fluttershy already seemed to be able to communicate and calm all the animals. The only training she might have needed was probably with bigger creatures like bears and such. The reason Rainbow Dash wasn’t good at it was because it was not what talent she was destined to have. It’s a very confusing concept, and I don’t fully understand it either, but it’s really wrong because Twilight interfered with destiny, nothing any mortal should ever do.

        While the message may be wrong to send to children, they still have atleast some common sense. Most know some special gift like a cutiemark won’t be bestowed upon them once they find a special talent, they just do what they love, and don’t really think about this stuff like destiny.

        Yes Celestia was immortal, but that doesn’t mean something bad can’t happen to her. Luna was imprisoned in the moon yet she is immortal, Discord was encased in stone yet he was immortal. Celestia was shown to have even lost against Chrysalis, and if something happened to her, then who would protect her kingdom? She needed an extra precaution, someone who could take her place if anything happened to her that she couldn’t fix.

        Well I suppose you have a point there, I might have to rewatch hearth’s warming eve again. It’s just a theory someone pitched me so I decided to look into it.

        Rarity may have had memories of clearing the weather, but that would only be a result of her mind. She may have just been given a memory she wanted to remember, maybe everyone just got the memory they wanted to remember, maybe they were in denial the entire time. Again, we are given limited explanation, and it can be frustrating, I know.

        I suppose I may have misinterpreted what you meant. I am sorry for that. I know you like the show, that’s why you would make such a big deal about. You do have valid points, like how was Pinkie so bad she ruined the farm? I get that it was to add to the feeling of depression, but when it suddenly turned back it was confusing. Maybe there was still a section of the farm left, who knows? And where the apple family were during all of this and why they didn’t do anything. Those are valid point, but I just think you were being way to hard it.

        • “The reason Rainbow Dash wasn’t good at it was because it was not what talent she was destined to have.”

          Yet she had the cutie mark for it. Which was supposed to interfere with destiny. So why didn’t she get the skill to go with it?

          Celestia has her sister. You remember Luna right?

          Considering we are given such limited information, don’t you think that’s the fault of the writer?

          You can never be too hard on something you love. I want the show to get better, because I love it. If I hated it, I’d tell them to start sucking, so more people would share my hate. Or I’d shower it with false praise so it starts to stagnate.

          You understand?

          • Well that’s because Twilight interfered with destiny. The spell was incomplete as well so it would have disastrous results. The only way I can think to put this is this: You have a recipe for a cake, but you only do half the instructions, It won’t end up like it was supposed to be, becoming either a cooked mesh of blended eggs, flour and stuff, or a well blended, but raw goo.It will either be missing structure or taste, because you skipped a step. Dash got the cutie mark, but fluttershy kept the talent, which ended up hidden inside of her. It’s hard to explain

            Yes, but Luna had been proven to betray Celestia before. I they trust her, and Luna will more than likely never do it again, but Celestia needs to be able to protect her kingdom in case something like it ever happens again. Either that or something might happen to Luna as well, and Luna is not the socially inept with everyone if you remember Nightmare night. She is learning, but still very behind.

            I suppose, but still there is a lot they are doing in the short amount of time. We can only expect so much to be covered. I agree they could have done a better job, but it’s not only a show for us, but for children as well. I am not saying judge this as a kids show, but remember, this is still for little girls and will always be, this doesn’t mean they can get away with plain lazy writing, but they shouldn’t confuse there audience. The show is as much theirs as it is ours.

            I agree, the only reason I nitpick or anything is because I love the show and think it can do better, but I know if we nitpick too much we forget to just sit back and enjoy the show. I have my problems with it, a few that I just can’t ignore, but sometimes I just need to enjoy all the work they actually do for us.

              • Rainbow Dash was destined to be the fast flyer, and weather pony she is today. Twilight interfered with destiny, changing things mid course. She still had her talent, but her destiny was changed in a way she couldn’t use it. It’s not like something you can just explain that easily, you can’t explain stuff like philosophy, destiny, religion, in a 20 minute time limit, or else they risk losing their target audience because they don’t understand.

                Stop being so stubborn and just enjoy something for what it is. There are many things wrong with the episode. I get that. Everybody gets that. But you are acting like the entire episode was the worst thing ever made because there are concepts you don’t want to believe. It has flaws, more than other episodes, but it is still enjoyable. I know it wasn’t what you are expecting, but they try their best in such a limited time frame. It wasn’t my favorite too, I can point out many things that don’t make sense, but if all you do is nitpick on every little detail you don’t agree with, then how do expect to truly enjoy the show? there is always going to be flaws, and you have every right to not like them, but you are hating all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. They could of just threw up their hands and quit and put no effort into it at all and make it just the little girls stereotype like last generation. I hated “Keep calm and Flutter on” For a number of reasons, but I can still enjoy it. I mean, you try writing a 22 minute episode with someone breathing down your neck trying to make this all happen. Twilight was planned to be a princess from Episode 1. Faust said so herself. They needed some way to get it done, and given how much time they had to work with, even though they could have done better, they did a good job with what they had.

                • The episode never needed to deal with destiny and fate and all that psudo-spiritual bullshit. The fact that they did, is part of the problem. Prior to this point, it was established that cutie marks merely represented special talent. Now they’re bringing fate and destiny into it.

                  Before this point, the show was, for the most part, grounded in reality. Magical talking ponies notwithstanding. Then they bring in this bullshit. It was unnecessary.

                  “There are many things wrong with the episode.”

                  Agreed. So what’s the problem?

                  No, I do not think it was the worst thing ever made, that would be Auschwitz.

                  Now, why do I nitpick? Because it’s what I do. I made this blog to do just that. It’s fun to nitpick. Or, at least it typically is. This is the first episode I found to be painful and unsettling.

                  It’s also a public service, since the only way something gets better is by knowing it’s flaws.

                  “Twilight was planned to be a princess from Episode 1. Faust said so herself.”

                  Where’s your source on that? Because my sources say differently. If that is the case… well, actually, I don’t give a shit. Fine, make her a princess, I’m all for that. What I didn’t like was how they did it.

                  And here’s the thing. When I first heard the episode summary. I had a vision of how the episode would go, and it was much better.

                  I might actually write it one day, if I feel in the mood.

                  The problem is, it could have been great. But it wasn’t. It created terrible implications for the rest of the franchise, failed to maintain an internal logic, and was just painful in its presentation (way too many fucking musical numbers, which I would have excused if they parodied Beatles songs, like the title suggested).

                  And no, I’m not going to accept any excuse from the writers. They are professionals, they should be able to do better. Especially Larson.

                  Saying they had a limited time is no excuse.

                  • You don’t believe in destiny and philosophy, so that’s why you disapprove of it? You don’t understand it and think it’s a bunch of nonsense so you write it off as lazy writing? Because it doesn’t make sense to you. That is an excuse why you don’t like it, but it’s not an excuse to say that it sucked.

                    An interview with Lauren Faust where she said Twilight was going to be a princess and Celestia’s successor, this coming out of her own mouth, so I’m not just making this up or finding a resource from some random fan. It wasn’t planned from the very beginning, but by the time episode 1 was made, it was established.

                    • Saying someone doesn’t believe in philosophy, is like saying someone doesn’t believe in thinking. It’s an absurd statement.

                      But no, I don’t believe in destiny, at least in the way most people do. I think we make our own destiny, and decide for ourselves what we do, it’s not determined by some invisible sky wizard.

                      But that wasn’t my point. Bringing in such an unsettling concept such as destiny runs counter to earlier episodes that established that cutie marks represent special talent, not destiny or anything of the sort.

                      “An interview with Lauren Faust where she said Twilight was going to be a princess and Celestia’s successor, this coming out of her own mouth, so I’m not just making this up or finding a resource from some random fan.”

                      Okay, again, where’s your source on that? Don’t expect me to take your word for it. You can’t say, ‘some interview at some point.’ Which interview, and when.

                    • Hmmm… interesting. Especially this part: “She also tweeted after the hype machine kicked into gear that this wasn’t in her plan, so that seems to imply that this would have happened at some point in time, but not in the middle of the series’ run.”

                      But I don’t care, since just because it comes from Faust does not mean it was a good idea. I also don’t care because I think character progression is a good thing. Assuming it’s not terribly executed, as it was here.

    • Also, your argument that she was just the first to understand friendship and be a powerful magic user, I’m just not buying. We’re talking over a thousand years (I said 900 years, but I’m walking back, it had to have been much longer) here, I highly doubt no one fit those qualifications during those thousand years. Especially in a land founded on friendship!

      Also, what magic did she create? Was it friendship magic? The same magic the Elements appear to be based on?

      Finally, that still doesn’t explain why she became a princess. It just doesn’t. Why would creating ‘new magic’ qualify someone for public office? Seems to be two different skill sets.

      • Well of course it could be hard to understand. But how many personal students did Celestia have over the years? Of course they friendship could have been common but the magical ability could be very rare. Plus, they would have to have starswirl’s spell to make them an alicorn, and it was implied that is was lost for a long time. Equestria seemed to be founded by friendship of 3, arguably 6 ponies, and the rest seemed to be just peace and harmony. Plus, it sows the many ponies are not all about friendship like Twilight used to be. Twilight might have been able to become a princess because she had perfected the unknown element of magic/friendship, as her crown is her element.

        Alicorns are very powerful. Celestia can control the sun by herself, something an entire kingdom of unicorns had to do together (I only use the term kingdom because there seemed to be a princess so I’m assuming.) Luna can control the moon, and Cadance seems to be the descendant of the crystal queen. So only a being of very high power could become an alicorn. Twilight fit into this concept, being one of the most powerful unicorns of this generation.

        • Why would it have to be one of her students? And for the past thousand years, it’d have to be pretty fucking rare. Insanely rare. Which means our hero merely got such power, not out of basic skill, or hard work, but because she was born with it.

          That is sad.

          The elements existed before she came around. Someone else bore the Element of Magic, before her, but it’s identifier was lost to history.

          “Cadance seems to be the descendant of the crystal queen.”

          Where do you get that?

          • Yes, she was born with that power. It’s not like as soon as she was born she had so could do anything she wanted, she had to train and perfect it. If Celestia hadn’t came in during her exam when she had that huge surge of energy who knows what could have happened? It’s not that she was merely born wit the power, she knew how to use it. she had to work hard and train to control it. And still, a lot of times power=madness. It may not be shown in the show, but it a natural mind set that if people are given power, they either will try to use it for their own needs no matter others expense, or will not know how to use it and go mad, except for those superhero scenarios, and other rare exceptions. Plus, Celestia said she and Luna were the ones who controlled the elements, if there were someone who had the element of magic and became a princess before her, then they would have probably been lost in history. The Elements of harmony were told to be a mares tale after all.

            Wen Cadance saves Spike and the crystal heart, one crystal pony says “The crystal princess has returned.” So she is obviously the old crystal princess, or her descendant. Besides, her cutie mark actually is the crystal heart.

            • So, somepony else could work as hard as they would like and never achieve the rank of princess? I’m pretty sure that’s not the message they want to send. The whole point of the new princess mythology was to send the message that you aren’t born into it.

              I think that was just some title they bestowed upon her. I don’t think that she is actually related to any ‘crystal queen’. Especially considering she’s not actually a crystal pony.

              Also, how do you know they weren’t talking about Spike?

              • So… you are saying they thought Spike, a baby, male dragon, was their pony princess? I’m pretty sure no one is that stupid. And how do you know she is not one? All crystal ponies don’t actually always look crystalline, there were normal crystal ponies, with normal colors in “Games ponies play” How do you know she is not a long lost descendant? Her cutie mark was the crystal heart! She has to have some connection to the crystal ponies. You have to be just plain stubborn to deny that.

                • There was? See, I assumed that the standard pony races just started to move to the Crystal Empire. Or, perhaps they were tourists. Unless you’re suggesting that segregation is still common place in Equestria.

                  Now, as for Cadance. See, I’m not going to assume anything. Yes, her cutie mark was crystaline in appearance. But that could mean literally anything. Is it possible? I won’t deny that. But then we run into a different problem, because you’re implying that Cadance was born an alicorn. Which makes alicorns a race. Leading us to Mormon racism.

                  • Well they looked just like the crystal ponies, only without the crystal appearance. It could be normal earth ponies who just wanted to fit in so they made themselves look like them, or just animation errors, but crystal ponies can lose their appearance, and probably gain it back every year on the festival when they power the crystal heart. They didn’t become crystal when they got happy again, it was when they crystal heart’s power was renewed.

                    It’s likely not just some sort of coincidence on the shows part, let’s look at the facts
                    1.Cadance has a crystal looking heart, like the one in the empire
                    2. She then goes to the crystal empire, and protects it
                    3. The empire is powered by love, her special talent
                    4. She is either recognized, or mistaken as the old crystal princess, showing some similarity.
                    5. She then rules over the crystal kingdom as the princess
                    Did the sow not at all realize any of this and it was just a mistake?

                    You are saying the sow is racist? How? Alicorns are like deities, they are very powerful, they are born that way, or now, thanks to Twilight, if someone is strong enough, can become one. How many alicorns are in the show? 5, 6 if you count chrysalis as a changeling alicorn. It’s not like they are exactly a common birth. They seem to be rare, and very powerful. It’s not racism. It’s not like you have to be an alicorn to be a princess, but wouldn’t it be good to have a very powerful, long living ruler, who has the power to keep peace and harmony, instead of just any other race they could find? After all, I’m pretty sure little kids are not going to learn racism like this. You are acting like it’s teaching children to be racist. You are making a big deal out of nothing at all. These are PONIES! NOT HUMAN! NOT US! It’s not like it’s implying that one human race is superior to another. You are being completely ridiculous and irrational. Twilight becoming and alicorn was a grace. It wasn’t forced on her. I can understand with some of your previous points, even if I don’t agree with them, but this makes no sense at all, what is there to be so pissy about?

  2. Twilight’s creating “new magic” clearly doesn’t mean creating a new spell; it’s obvious that that can be done pretty easily, given a sufficiently smart unicorn. It’s more akin to creating a new source or type of magic. Kind of like creating the Elements of Harmony.

    In short, Starswirl’s spell was impossible to complete with all existing magical knowledge, so Twi creates new magic with which the spell can be finished. … so it’s also kind of like inventing calculus. (Princess Gottfried Leibniz.)

    • Huh, interesting. So you’re saying it only applies to major breakthroughs in magic. So, it’s like the Nobel Prize, only the most influential advances are awarded.

      But let’s put that in context. The Nobel Prize is awarded in five different categories, and last year, eight individuals were awarded. However I’m not counting the economic prize since it wasn’t one of the original prizes.

      But looking at the princesses. There are a total of four. Could there be more off-screen? Possibly. But why weren’t they at the coronation ceremony? Cadance was there, and she had to fly out from the Crystal Empire, since she apparently rules the place for some stupid reason.

      So think about that for a second. If we lived in a world where only four people were considered worthy of the Nobel Prize in the past 100 years, wouldn’t that make you cry? Wouldn’t that mean the society they live in is a bit stagnant? Four major advances in the past 100 years? Actually, no. Two major advances in the past 100 years, since Celestia and Luna got their promotion over 1000 years ago.

      So, yeah, the number should be lower than I originally thought. But not that low!

      Plus, again, I find it hard to believe that Twilight is the first unicorn in the past millennium to ever have friends! A land founded on friendship. She’s the first pony to actually have friends.

      • The other thing you’ve got to consider is that Twilight wasn’t actually *rewarded* for solving Starswirl’s last theorem with princesshood. The spell itself *caused* her ascension to princesshood. Effectively, she’s created a spell powerful enough to induce ascension to god tier, using her newly invented calculus.

        Since it’s established nopony knew such ascension was possible (or, at least, Rarity didn’t, but we can extrapolate), it’s likely none of the other existing alicorns attained their position through a similar ascension process. So Twilight’s the only one *ever* to have created magic that powerful; there might’ve been plenty of other magical breakthroughs, maybe even Pony-Nobel-Prize-worthy ones, but definitely nothing quite that powerful.

        • Well then. That’s bullshit. The spell caused it? Okay then. Seems that now that spell is a very valuable artifact. If anypony in the nation gets their hooves on that spell, they’ll become ultra powerful and can probably decimate the nation.

          But there’s one problem with that theory. When Twilight was teleported to the nebula-realm, why didn’t she have wings? The spell was cast, but she didn’t get wings until she returned to the mortal plane. I don’t think the spell caused it.

          I think the better explanation for Rarity’s reaction is that it’s a state secret.

          Finally, don’t insult Celestia by calling her a god. Celestia is not a god. You see, unlike gods, Celestia actually exists.

          • The spell must’ve caused it. Throughout the entire nebularealm scene, no magic is cast. Whatsoever.

            One assumes that the way Starswirl’s spell works is through the following series of steps:
            a) The spell causes the Elements of Harmony to kill the caster.
            b) The caster then ends up in a blatant reference to the King’s Cross scene from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Because this is what always happens when you die, obviously.
            c) Residual magic, residing within the caster from the spell’s initial activation, is released and induces a transformation. (Notice that the magic causing Twi to ascend clearly wasn’t cast by Celestia.)
            d) The resurrected and ascended caster is returned to the real world.

            The Elements appear to be a necessary part of the ascension process, so only the mane six are able to use it (since only they can use the Elements).

            • Actually, when you die, you fucking die, nothing happens after that. You’re fucking dead.

              And if the Elements are required to use it, than it appears to be a pretty shitty spell.

              So I looked over the episode, and yeah, Celestia didn’t turn Twilight into an alicorn. But that doesn’t mean the friendship spell turned her into an alicorn either. She became a princess. That’s what turned her into an alicorn. Celestia says as much. Apparently all princesses are turned into alicorns. Since that spell was just created, it couldn’t have made the other three alicorns, therefore, it wasn’t simply the spell.

              Oh, the others ascended a different way? Well that doesn’t mesh with Celestia’s coronation monologue.

              I think you’re reaching.

              • So if nothing happens after you die, even in works of fiction that are allowed to work differently from reality, what did happen in that scene I mentioned from Deathly Hallows?

                The spell is clearly tied to the Elements, since Starswirl’s original version and Twilight’s fixed edition both operated on them, albeit in different ways. That does make it a pretty bad spell for anypony who doesn’t have the Elements, of course, but to be fair they are the most powerful magical artefacts known to ponykind (or, at least, are claimed to be such).

                The magic causing Twi’s alicorn-ification is quite visibly her own, so it’s most likely directly from her casting of Starswirl’s spell; it could conceivably be sourced from a different spell, but a) that’s the last one she cast and b) if that spell doesn’t cause ascension, that would make it just a spell that kills you. Which is useless.

                I don’t believe the other alicorns ascended a different way. I believe they didn’t need to ascend, i.e., that they’ve just always been alicorns. There’s very little evidence to confirm either way, considering we’ve never seen them being not princesses or not alicorns. The “newest princess” bit from Celestia’s speech does obliquely imply that they might not’ve been, but it’s hardly hard evidence.

                I’m not reaching, by the way. Not deliberately, at least. This is my actual interpretation of the events.

                • Never read it.

                  And just because they work on the elements, doesn’t mean they require the elements. Also, since it was Celestia and Luna who found the elements, I have a hard time believing Starswirl even heard of the damn things. It’s possible, I’ll admit. But I’m not buying it.

                  Actually, you know what. The founding of Equestria, which was either after or during Starswirl’s time, took place “long before” Celestia’s rule. Therefore, I think we can safely assume he died before Celestia came around.

                  And since we’re on the subject, if the spell uses the elements to turn anypony into an alicorn, will five more soon join the ranks of royalty?

                  Also, I didn’t see her cast the spell at any point. She just finished writing it. And how do you know it killed her? I know we see the smouldering point on the floor, but that could just be a side effect of the teleportation. I know I said, “Twilight’s dead.” But that was a joke.

                  And just because the magic came from her, doesn’t mean it was caused by a cast spell. See: Rarity’s cutie mark story.

                  Now, if the rest of them were born as alicorns. Well, that would make alicorns a race, and therefore the whole episode is completely racist. The idea that none of the alicorns were born that way kinda saved it from that. But if you’re arguing otherwise, we have a different problem: Mormon Racism.

                  You know, the fact that we can debate this, sorta proves, in my mind, that the whole episode was shoddy from beginning to end. We don’t even know what’s going on half the time. Literally! To me, that’s a failure on the writer.

                  Actually, let’s go back to the spell. I think I just realized what it did. It’s designed to fuse cutie marks. It didn’t do that yet. But it can. The spell doesn’t say anything about wings.

                  Oh, I also realized something else. She was coronated because she found a new source for magic eh? You mean like friendship? She created magic from friendship? That was the new magic? Interesting. Friendship is magic. Such a new idea. I guess that’s possible, I mean it’s not like there is a powerful magical artifact in the show that’s been used multiple times that’s powered by friendship. So, since it’s a completely new thing she discovered, I guess it makes perfect sense.

                  Yeah, I was being sarcastic. And I’m not even talking about just the elements. Hearth’s Warming Eve established the earliest chronological appearance of friendship magic when it was used to vanquish the wendigos.

                  Unless you’re talking about something completely different, you’re way off base.

                  • Twilight did cast the spell, because it’s cast by being spoken, and she spoke the words as she wrote them. This property is illustrated in the way she cast the first half of it merely through speech. Whether she died as a result is ambiguous and open to interpretation.

                    The final part of the spell, incidentally, clearly indicates a) a source of magic, and b) potential for ascension.

                    From all of us together, together we are friends, with the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end!

                    i.e., through their combination, as in their use of the Elements, there’s an endless source of magic. Alicorns are believed to have significantly more powerful magic—this is indicated by, for example, the Alicorn Amulet—thus the final line is also indicative of Twi’s subsequent ascension to alicornhood.

                    • …well… maybe. Just seems like a stretch. Especially considering the “marks of (their) destinies” were not “made one.”

                      “Alicorns are believed to have significantly more powerful magic.”

                      Notice the key word there: ‘believed.’ I never saw Cadance using “significantly more powerful magic.” You can argue the spell she used in The Crystal Empire, but that was actually just a love-enhancement spell. It just catalyzed the Empire’s basic defence mechanisms. At least, that’s what they said in the episode. Also, even a basic spell like that appeared to drain her significantly. Hardly “magic without end.” I think it’s safe to assume such power is reserved for Celestia and Luna.

                      Also, when she cast the first half, her horn was glowing. But it’s hard to tell. Could go either way, I guess. I just have a hard time believing she just wrote a spell that can permanently change anypony’s race. Best guess, we’ll see the spell in action next season.

                      Best guess: it’ll merge the characters Megazord-style.

  3. With regards to Rarity controlling the weather, I think she was just moving clouds around with her telekinesis and not controlling the weather per se, which is one reason she was failing at it.

    This raises another problem: Rainbow Dash’s special talent isn’t weather management; that’s just her day job. Her special talent is racing/stunt flying.

    • Yeah, but it’s a type of weather control, and I guess I always assumed that unicorn magic won’t work on clouds. But nonetheless, there’s really not much more to weather control than strategically positioning clouds. There’s also controlling air currents, but actually, we’ve already seen Twilight do that in season one. So there we go.

      Actually, you know, if zebras can do magic, I don’t see why earth ponies and pegasi can’t.

  4. Interesting point about Twilight being out of character. I feel like the episode had pacing issues, like they tried to fit a lot into a short period of time and things happen really quickly. I really liked that song about destiny or whatever though.

    • Some of the songs were nice, but it really felt like they were trying to cover for a shoddy episode filled with retcons and plot holes and one really bad idea by slapping in half a dozen musical numbers and flat-out ending the episode insisting everything will be fine.

    • Oh, yeah, there was definately some problems with pacing. Which might explain how the cast teleported outside after killing Twilight. But I will give Larson credit. He seemed to have muscled through it. Not using any narriative shortcuts during the episode’s first half. Unlike The Return of Harmony, where we see the memory spell. I admire that.

  5. Frankly, I hope they do reverse the whole Twilicorn thing. Yes, it would be a stupid cop-out, but it would mean I could just pretend like this episode never happened. The way things are looking now, with Twilight’s friends bowing to her and Twilight not “finishing” her studies, my worst fears look like they’re coming true.

  6. >Let us be clear: there is no such thing as ‘talent.’ At least, not in the way most people think. No one is born good at anything.
    They are in Equestria.

    >They’re memories were not affected?
    *Their

    >Not that I’m complaining per say,
    *per se

    >Applejack starts farming and all the trees are restored. Da hell!?
    Earth pony magic.

    >Applejack get’s her mark back
    *gets

    >Because she embodies each of the five elements, plus leadership
    Those weren’t the Elements; they were some other virtues. I think one was integrity.

    >This is who she is, this is her character.
    *is;

    >He wrote my favourite episode this season, Magic Dual
    *Duel

    >Those are not normal skin colours!
    IT IS A SKIN CONDITION, PUNY EARTHLINGS! THEY ARE NORMAL!

    >I hope they don’t decide to reverse the Princess Twilight thing. That could go places.
    The Princess Twilight thing could go places, or reversing it could?

    • Sure, natural talent exists among ponykind. But this is a kid’s show, so in this department I’m going to hold it to a higher standard of realism. It doesn’t seem that unlikely to me that kids will think their approach is the right one. Which is where we have a problem. Also this show was (at least in the first season) supposed to be educational. So, to a certain extent, the lessons should be bound in reality. That one wasn’t.

      Earth pony magic actually makes less sense, because Pinkie’s an earth pony too.

      Yeah, she doesn’t embody all the Elements. She embodies synonyms of all the elements.

      Finally, I honestly think the Princess Twilight thing could go places. Good places. It could also fail horribly, but personally, I’d rather they took the chance, and tried to make something amazing out of it.

      My only wish is that they introduced it with a better episode, not a confusing, retconning clusterfuck..

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