Pinkie and the Usurper: “Pinkie Pride” review

Haven’t we been down this road before?

The most important thing to remember about celebrations, like birthdays and anniversaries, and weddings, and other things, is to remember who they’re for. It’s not about the host, it’s about the guest of honour. It’s important to remember that, otherwise you’re just jerking off.

And there’s no better jerker than Pinkie Pie, who plans celebrations based on what she loves, not necessarily what others love. Of course, with her friends, who share mostly similar interests, it has worked. But back during the old royal wedding, that wasn’t the case.

If you remember, Cadence expressed a certain amount of disdain at Pinkie’s design choices, and she didn’t really notice. Alright, it was actually Evil Cadance, but no one knew that.

My point is, either Pinkie didn’t notice that the bride didn’t like it, or she didn’t care. Neither one is good. And she’s supposed to be our expert party planner? I guess so.

I think the problem was, Pinkie’s never been taken out of her comfort zone. She was never challenged in any way. She always threw the same parties, over and over again, and no one questioned it. No one bothered to criticize her work. Oh, I’ve certainly been down this path before.

Party planning is an art, isn’t it? There’s certainly an artistry to it, I must say. And like any art, one must be challenged, and criticized on their work in order to get better. But that can only happen if you have colleagues that can do the job. And Pinkie doesn’t. This also means she has no competition. Which explains why, when competition actually enters the town of Ponyville. She doesn’t take it well.

What!? A free market!? That’s not on! Continue reading

Chaos, Resumed: “Three’s a Crowd” review

I’ve been watching a lot of Once Upon a Time these days. It’s a show about fairy tales, old novels, famous poems, and pretty much anything in classic literature that Disney owns the rights to. Which is why next season, I expect a story line taking place in the Star Wars Galaxy.

I’m planning on doing a full write-up on this show, so I’m not gonna go into too much detail here. But suffice to say, one of the show’s most interesting elements is how they took classic villains; like the Evil Queen from Snow White, Rumpelstiltskin from… Rumpelstiltskin, or Captain Hook from Peter Pan; out of the old black and white, binary morality model of story, and turned them into interesting, dynamic, and even sympathetic characters. They’re given tortured back stories, explaining why they act villainy. We see them motivated not by greed, selfishness or vanity, but by things which we, ourselves, might find ourselves motivated by. We even see them side with the heroes whenever they feel the need. Which is actually more often than not.

But as a consequence, when we meet a real villain, one that we really have to hate, they end up taking off the brakes and turning back to the old tropes. But even then, they still avoid the binary morality trap, by giving the villain a back story we can understand. I mean, he was still an unsympathetic prick, but you understood why he was an unsympathetic prick. Even a stupid, selfish, amoral reason, is a reason.

But the important thing to note is that the old villains sided with the heroes to fight the real villains. Regina Mills, for instance, has had a very clear arc over the series, and is now one of the show’s most heroic characters, willing to give of herself for the sake of others. Or at the very least, for the sake of her son.

And her story’s been clear, and consistent. She worked hard to be good, and we all know why. She’s a character we can fully understand.

In contrast, another show with a former-villain turned supposed-good-guy has not been so consistent. It’s been more confusing, and bizarre, instead. And I’m starting to think he never went through any type of character evolution at all. Instead, he’s still the same douchebag he’s always been.

Yes, I’m talking about Discord! The jackass that makes Loki look reasonable. Continue reading

The Schizm: “Sunil’s Sick Day” review

Friendships can break down on occasion. It happens. When I was younger, I had arguments with my friends all the time. Then I grew up, and I had no friends, so it wasn’t really an issue anymore.

Fighting with friends doesn’t mean losing friends. But it’s easy to see why that would be the case. Tempers flare, you say things that aren’t so nice. It all culminates in declaring you never want to see the other again, or unpleasant declarations about someone’s mother, or something getting broken, possibly a nose. And then you think it’s over.

But true friendship doesn’t end. At least, not that easily. After all, friendship is magic!

Which is why it should surprise no one that this theme played out perfectly on the show that’s all about friendship, and love, and tolerance: Littlest Pet Shop!

Oh! Of course! Continue reading

The Little Outdoors: “Littlest Bigfoot” review

I’ll admit, I kinda like camping. It can be quite relaxing. The day-to-day bustle of modern life can get excruciating over time, so the chance to get away from it, and just relax in the great outdoors, can be nice. Assuming you can still get an internet connection.

Then there’s light pollution. Next time you go camping, try looking up. You may notice something quite spectacular: Stars! I know! Amazing, isn’t it? You don’t get those in the city. I can spend hours just looking in awe at the night sky. With the Milky Way arching across. On occasion I might see the moon in all it’s brilliance, like a second sun. You can even pick out planets, nebulae, even galaxies if you try hard enough.

I might be genetically hardwired to appreciate the inherent beauty of the universe. Just the fact that I can spot the Andromeda Galaxy with the naked eye just leaves me euphoric, and awestruck. In that moment, I’m witnessing of trillions of stars, and perhaps even millions of alien civilizations, all at once.

And that’s why I love camping, because of astronomy.

But there are certainly other reasons. Dozens of reasons, in fact, to go camping. Which must have been why everyone was so excited to camping on last week’s episode of Littlest Pet Shop. Continue reading

Her Name is Minka, and She Dances on the Sand: “Plane it on Rio!” review

I love callbacks! They’re great! They combine comedy with continuity, tickling both the funny and nerdy parts of my brain. But they’re very rare on shows like Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony. This is mainly because these shows are structured so episodes can be watched in any order, and even skipped over, so as to not penalize those who are either casual viewers, or just decided to miss an episode or two.

There was a time when making a continuity-heavy show like 24 would’ve been, if not impossible, a fast way to lose viewers. Since missing a single episode would mean missing a large chunk of the overarching story, making the program unwatchable. And missing single episodes is something that’s going to happen on occasion to all but the most dedicated of viewer.

But now, these kinds of programs have become a mainstay of modern television. And it’s all thanks to on-demand services such as TiVo, NetFlix, and whatever online solution the broadcaster wishes to provide. This kind of flexibility allows the viewer to watch a show at whatever time they want. Which wasn’t possible before without a blank VHS tape, a VCR, a computer science degree so you could program the damn thing, and the ability to predict the future so you know when you’re gonna be late.

And that was all assuming the show didn’t get rescheduled that week, or wasn’t delayed by some cheesy sporting event.

So, why are they not more common? Like I said, Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony don’t do continuity that often. Generally if a new character appears on a given episode, there’s a good chance we’ll never see them again. And references to earlier episodes are almost non-existent, even when you’d expect a character to do just that.

Rainbow: Come on, Fluttershy! You have to get angry!
Fluttershy: But I’m not angry.
Rarity: Oh, I know, pretend the Mane-iac took your taxi, or stood in front of you in line, or asked for directions…
Rainbow: What?
Rarity: You weren’t there, just trust me on this.

That was cut from the superhero episode.

Then there are episodes where a character learns the same thing they learned in a previous episode. As if they were lobotomized or something in the interim.

On the bright side, this practice seems to be falling to the wayside. On My Little Pony, we had Twilight becoming a princess which closed off the last season and is running throughout this one, the renovation of the castle in the Everfree forest was covered in two different episodes which built off each other, and then there’s the ongoing Equestria Games saga.

But on Littlest Pet Shop, it’s been much more pervasive, as we see characters mention events from earlier episodes on a regular basis. Like the Pet Jet, the Pet Fashion Expo, and Russell’s phasmophobia. And I think it finally reached its peak, on the day the pets take a trip to Rio De Janeiro for the big Brazilian Carnival (car-nih-VAHL) celebrations! Primarily because it feels like a sequel to an earlier episode, and because it just won’t stop it with the callbacks! Continue reading

Vote for Creepy Clones: “Inside Job” review

Normally, I’m a very positive and upbeat person. Shut up! I am! But I can understand why people would assume otherwise. After all, virtually every post I write does nothing but throw shit at TV shows that I’m not even the target audience of.

But the only reason I do that is because most of the time, I genuinely enjoy these shows. My Little Pony and Littlest Pet Shop are great programs that simply don’t get enough credit. Or in the case of My Little Pony, get way too much credit by sycophantic nutjobs wanting to suck off the main cast, or insane fanboys who can’t stand change of any kind.

But because I genuinely enjoy these shows, whenever I see them falter, I feel the need to draw attention to it, so it doesn’t happen again. Because we can only fix problems that we’re aware of, and making us aware of problems is the exact niche criticism fills. Continue reading

A Dog and a Half: “Grounded” review

“Circumstances of birth are nothing more than random, and should never be a source of pride or shame.” – Penn Jillette, Penn and Teller: Bullshit, Season 4 Episode 7: Reparations

I don’t really know why people think their ancestry actually matters. I guess it’s because of this weird obsession some people have with the past.

I’m sure we’ve all heard of the documentary series, Who Do You Think You Are?, which takes celebrities on a tour of their ancestry. And the title is enough to annoy the hell out of me. I’m sure it’s interesting to learn what our ancestors did for a living, but saying that in any way tells us who we are (as implied by the title), is just fucking asinine! But I guess, Who Do You Think Your Ancestors Were? doesn’t quite roll off the tongue.

I’ve said all this before. The only practical thing genealogy teaches us is: What type of genetic predispositions we have to certain illnesses. It’s not really useful to anyone other than medical professionals.

But what about ancestry in a broader sense? I hear you ask! Surely it matters if our ancestors come from Asia or the middle east! It’s our heritage, our culture! If our ancestors were from Africa, shouldn’t we start practising ancient African tribal religions? If our ancestors were Jewish, shouldn’t we start practising Judaism as well? And what about royalty!? Surely if we have pure royal blood, that’s something to be proud of! We should start wearing crowns, and demand to be called lady or lord or whatever!

No! No! No! No! And finally: No!

Whether our parents are Jewish, or African, or the King and Queen of Spain, or anything else, doesn’t matter in the slightest. It’s certainly interesting, don’t get me wrong. But it doesn’t change who we are. I mean, if I found out I descended from Jewish people, I might gain a greater hatred for the events of World War II, but it wouldn’t change who I am, nor what I believe. And I wish this was a message that was told more often. But when they had the perfect opportunity to do so, the writers of Littlest Pet Shop decided to squander it instead. Which I find very fucking irritating. Continue reading

Unrelated Stereotypes: “Shanghai Hi-Jinks” review

A stereotype is a trait that is applied to every individual of a certain group. And the thing about stereotypes, is that nine times out of nine, they’re wrong! I’m rounding off here.

And intellectually, we all know this. We know that the stereotypes we place on people are all bullshit. You don’t even have to look very far to notice this. For instance, Stereotype #547: All black people are gang members and criminals. Yes, just like Neil DeGrasse Tyson, noted astrophysicist and assassin. By the way, that last part is sarcasm.

Stereotype #822: All Americans are stupid. Yes, much like the famous astrophysicist, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Dude, he’d wipe the floor with you on Jeopardy!

Stereotype #292: All black people are cool and suave. Have you met Neil DeGrasse Tyson?

This man’s so nerdy he managed to fit in with the cast of The Big Bang Theory!

Of course, this doesn’t prove anything, some people might say. He’s the exception that proves the rule. You don’t know what the word ‘rule’ means, do you?

Now, I’m sure that there are a lot of black criminals out there. The majority of the American prison population is black, after all. But I think that has less to do with the colour of their skin, and more to do with the fact that many black people are poor. And I think the fact that they are poor has less to do with the colour of their skin, and more to do with the fact that many of their ancestors were slaves, who didn’t really have much to pass on to their children.

Anyway, the point I’m trying to get to is that stereotypes are bullshit. There may be societal correlations that can be extrapolated into stereotypes. For instance, the United States does have a pretty shit education system. In many places, some twats are still trying to get creation taught in science classrooms. But that’s not really due to anything other than a few pricks in government. It’s not something we can blame on the populace… then again, they did vote for those assholes. But the stupidity feeds itself. And they’re not even the dumbest nation on the planet. No, that title goes to Niger, where the literacy rate is under 30 per cent! Now, I’m no expert. But teaching people to read… anything, doesn’t seem that difficult to me. Read the kid a book, and let them look at it too, eventually they’ll catch on.

So yes, stereotypes are bullshit. Even the stereotype that all stereotypes are created by white heterosexual cisgendered males. That is most certainly bullshit, as was demonstrated on a recent episode of Littlest Pet Shop.

Yes, we went on that whole trip for this. And really, it’s not worth it. Continue reading