Category Archives: Animation

Reviews of Cartoons.

It’s Pinkie and the Goth!: “Maud Pie” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

Hey, remember about a month ago, when I reviewed Pinkie Pie’s arc-related episode, Pinkie Pride? Remember when I noticed that the photo of Pinkie’s family didn’t match up with the depiction of Pinkie’s family in season one? And remember when I made the joke about the extra family member being a bitter teenager who cuts herself? Turns out I was actually onto something! Because today, we’re actually going to meet her!

This is Maud, Pinkie’s elder sister! And she’s coming to Ponyville! And she’s awesome! Continue reading →

In the Hooves of an Apple: “Somepony to Watch Over Me” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

Allow me to tell you a tale. About several months ago, shortly before I moved for college, I was driving down the street in a 13-year-old automobile. A Pontiac Sunfire, if you’re interested. Then, suddenly, it broke down in the middle of an intersection. Now, you may be wondering why, and to put it simply: the engine melted. Apparently, there was no coolant in the damn thing, and I had no idea, because some jackass disconnected the temperature sensor.

Anyway, do you want to know what I did the moment this happened? I called my mother. What the hell was wrong with me!? Why was that my first instinct!? I recently turned 27 at that point, and my first instinct was to call my mommy!? That was pathetic, and I very quickly realized that. By the time you reach your late 20s, you should be able to handle things on your own. You should know exactly what to do in a crisis. And honestly, I did. I knew I had to call a tow truck and get the car to a mechanic, but for some reason was unsure enough that I had to check with mommy first. Well, that and I needed money. I was broke at the time. And technically, I still am.

And this is one of the many reasons I’m so glad to have moved all the way to Southern Ontario! I know what you’re gonna say: I didn’t even leave the province, or my time zone. But that’s only because Canada has some massively big provinces. If I was in Europe, such a move would involve crossing two other nations.

Nonetheless, I’m in a different city, in a different region, and I’m as far as I can reasonably get from her. Now, if I need help with something, calling my mother is not an option. I quite figuratively jumped into the deep end of independence, and it feels wonderful, and well overdue.

This is a feeling everyone wants: To feel like they can make it on their own. To feel like they don’t need someone else. And it makes sense, because being dependant on someone else means, if something horrible happens to that person, you’re screwed. Being independent means being in control of your own life, regardless of outside forces. It also fulfills the fourth level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Motivation.

I took psychology last fall.

And it doesn’t matter how old you are. Even children love the feeling of gaining just a touch of independence. But that might also be because they see it as a milestone of growing up, which they also love.

But unfortunately, some parents deny their children this feeling for as long as possible, out of some obligation they feel to protect them from things that don’t exist. Like the old ‘stranger danger’ myth. And this can cause frustration and even rebellion. As some children decide to prove that they can handle things on their own, by any means necessary.

Remind you of anypony?

Continue reading →

In the Grimdark Future, There Is Only Ponies: “It Ain’t Easy Being Breezies” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

Equestria might have the most unstable ecosystem in all of fiction.

I say this because of several reasons: Like how dependant the local weather is on Rainbow Dash and the Ponyville weather team, how dependant the local wildlife are on Fluttershy’s care and attention, and how dependant the entire solar system is on Princess Celestia (which is bizarre on so many levels).

It’s ponies that have to ensure the autumn leaves fall off before winter, and that the snow is cleared before summer. They also have to create clouds so rain happens, and you’ll notice that Fluttershy rarely seems to care for any domestic animals. No, she cares for wild animals, who should be able to take care of themselves!

I asked it before, and I’ll ask it again: “How the hell did life evolve on this rock!?”

I have a theory: Basically, it wasn’t always like this. But an indeterminate time ago, some great disaster happened that destabilized the ecosystem and tidally locked the planet. Clouds couldn’t form, rain didn’t come, plants died off, and half the planet cooked.

Then they started controlling the weather by manually creating clouds, and they used magic to manually turn the planet. It all makes sense when you think about it.

But that doesn’t explain a more recent oddity on this show. Which I’ll sum up by saying: What the fuck are Breezies, and what are they doing!? Continue reading →

Separated from the Mob: “Twilight Time” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

It seems to me that there are only nine characters on My Little Pony that are fully fleshed-out, multidimensional and consistent characters: Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Sweetie Belle, Applejack, Scootaloo, Fluttershy, Rarity, Apple Bloom, and Pinkie Pie. I would include Spike, but sadly, Spike at Your Service really fucked-up his character arc.

Now, this should surprise no one, since they are the main characters. But we’ve had many side characters pop up over the years that could’ve gotten proper characterization, but ended up as one-dimensional and bland caricatures. Some may suggest that this is okay for one-shot characters, and that they just don’t get enough screen time to show any real depth, but I don’t buy that. Take Sombra for instance. What did he do, and why did he do it? Something about slaves and taking over the Crystal Empire. But we get no explanation of what he actually did. He’s not so much a character, but a formless evil; which is just lazy storytelling if you ask me. He had a 45-minute episode where they could’ve spent three minutes explaining what he did that was so evil, and maybe even what his ultimate goal was. But we get none of that, and instead just focus on Twilight climbing stairs, and Fluttershy being shit at jousting. And don’t forget the two, frankly time-wasting, musical numbers.

Then we have the extras. Background characters who act like a single mass of idiots on a nearly constant basis. None of them have any personality! Which is fair enough since they’re background characters. But as a collective, they don’t act in a way any normal group would act. They all act as vapid and shallow morons. Not one of them takes a step to the side and realize the rest of them are idiots.

I might be misremembering things, but the second episode, The Ticket Master, highlights this very well, as the entire town begins mobbing Twilight for the extra Gala ticket. And I mean the entire town! We don’t see any background characters observing these events from afar. Looking over their newspaper as a mass of ponies mob the newest member of their community. And that bugs me. You’re telling me no innocent bystander feels the need to not join in with the crowd? None of them are patient observers? No! They’re all part of the herd!

I bring this up because a more recent episode did the exact same thing, but in a much more obvious way. And it makes me think the writers don’t even try to give personalities to characters that aren’t available on toy shelves. Continue reading →

Penny 4 MINKA: “Standup Stinker” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

I’m of the opinion that one of the most important endeavors of modern civilization is the exploration of space. The expansion of our civilization from this tiny little marble, to the furthest reaches of the galaxy. And it depresses me that this is a minority opinion.

This is the next giant step for mankind, and on the issue-priority list, it’s below the quest to build bigger guns, and whether or not a delusional shitkicker from Nevada gets to graze his cattle on someone else’s property for free.

This is pathetic! And I know what you’re thinking: “What’s the rush? Space isn’t going anywhere!” Well, yes, but we might. With all the ecological damage being done to the planet, who knows how long it’ll last before saying, “fuck it,’ and just eating us! Not only that, there’s an old rule in science: If you start an experiment, it better be finished before you die. This is why they’ve only recently tried to send rockets to Pluto; because it’s only recently that we’ve built rockets fast enough to make the trip within a century.

I have, maybe, 70 years left on this planet, minimum. Twice that if I have anything to say about it. It may seem incredibly selfish; but dammit, I wanna see cities on Mars before I die, and I’m sure I’m not the only one! When I was a kid, I was promised a Mars mission in 2020. Now, 2020 is apparently the year NASA’s planning to go to space again. It’ll be their comeback tour, they’re gonna orbit the moon, play their greatest hits. Maybe as an encore they’ll blow up an oxygen tank and nearly run out of water. Yes, I am bitter. How’d you know?

And yes, I’m still angered by the fact that Constellation, the big, far-reaching plan for future space exploration, was cancelled because of reasons! Thanks, Obama!

No, literally, it’s his fault.

And if the James Webb Space Telescope isn’t launched by the end of 2018, and is instead blocked because of some political horseshit… Well, there’s not much I can do is there!? Since you won’t let me leave this fucking planet, no matter how much I’d want to at that point! It actually feels like I’m being held captive here!

Yes! I, personally, want to go to Mars, and I’m absolutely positive I’m not the only one. Yeah, there are risks; one can die; but that’s life! Out of every single person that’s been in space, only 3% never came back down. And yes, that sucks. But you don’t stay in the cave just because a dragon might be waiting outside! A trip to Mars is full of risks, and I’m willing to take them! In fact, if any Martian colonization project pops up, I’m declaring now: I’m the first to volunteer. No question.

It’s not simply because this planet and everyone on it is annoying the crap out of me more and more as each day goes by. It’s because it would be something no one’s ever done before. It’ll be the next step for mankind. It’ll be the frontier. It’ll push our society forward, rather than allow it to stagnate. Which is something we’ve always done. Humanity has always tried to push forward, to evolve, to advance, to have each generation do better, and live longer, than the one before. It’s part of what makes us human, and truly separates us from the animals.

… Well… most animals. Because it just so happens one little monkey feels the exact same way.

Continue reading →

A Little Fraud Never Hurt Anypony: “Filli Vanilli” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

Did you know that Barbra Streisand has stage freight? Yeah, Barbra Streisand! One of the (allegedly) greatest performers of our time has a condition that makes it difficult for her to perform without breaking down into a pile of tears.

So why does she even bother? Why does she ever go on stage if she’s afraid of it.

This isn’t like a kid who’s afraid of heights approaching a cliff edge to save a friend who’s about to fall off. No one will die if she doesn’t sing… I don’t know… Send in the Clowns or something. Apparently she sings that, I don’t know. I’m not really a fan.

So why do it? Perhaps she just loves singing that much, and the joy overshadows the fear. Perhaps she actually hates performing but loves having performed, and she loves bringing joy to millions. Or, perhaps she’s just a masochist.

And I understand. I get stage freight. I also get general-social-interaction fright. But if I ever get the chance to perform on stage, I do it! And I end up having so much fun that it doesn’t matter anymore. Of course when I start I’m very nervous and frightened, but I push past that, and after a minute or two, the fear fades into the background. This is why I love Karaoke. It also helps that I don’t ever remember anyone calling me a ponce for singing.

But you know, I’m pretty sure that stage freight sorta goes hand in hand with social anxiety. Which is why it should surprise no one that the most socially anxious pegasus in Ponyville, is scared of the stage.

Of course I’m talking about Fluttershy. You knew I was talking about Fluttershy. Continue reading →

Love and Adaptation: “Simple Ways” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

Okay, I know we’ve been down this road before.

The thing about love is that it can make you do stupid things. I know, I was a teenager for about six years, what do you think happened?

And these stupid things can run the gamut, from simply not learning to let go, to getting overly-excited and scaring the other off, or not understanding that they’re just not into you until it’s way too late for your heart to get out unscathed.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg, really. There are so many stupid things you can do because of love. And when it comes to love and stupidity, look no further than Ponyville’s resident romantic.

Rarity! A mare with fine tastes and a big heart… ostensibly. And on this episode, her big heart gets inadvertantly crushed, and she does not handle it well. Continue reading →

Reverse Hypocondria: “The Hedgehog In The Plastic Bubble” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

I’ve mentioned before that one of my favourite movies is Contagion. A film all about a deadly pandemic and the impact it has on society and the world at large.

People die, others panic, and it all hits the fan. The film covered the event from every conceivable angle, including the perspective of a nutbar conspiracy theorist who creates more panic, and additional riots, over some type of miracle bullshit water.

Many characters even put themselves under personal quarantines, cutting themselves off from the world in an effort to protect themselves from the virus, which may be an appropriate reaction. And those who are infected… well they end up getting too sick to do much of anything. That being said, they don’t appear to be too concerned about quarantines or avoiding infecting others. Which is fucked when you think about it.

If you have a dangerous and deadly virus, going outside and letting it spread to others is just irresponsible. Oh, sure, you might survive… but that’s kinda beside the point!

If you think you’re sick, placing yourself under some type of quarantine is the only responsible thing to do. Assuming it’s feasible. And with that, I bring you the latest episode of Littlest Pet Shop, which is all about a quarantine. Two quarantines, as a matter of fact. Continue reading →