Category Archives: Animation

Reviews of Cartoons.

Equestria Rising: “Equestria Girls” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

It’s been hard to remain excited about My Little Pony.

Since the third season wrapped up, which was over six months ago by the way, I haven’t really had much enthusiasm about the franchise. That last season made me think of a dying whale, screaming out its final cries as it struggled to stay alive, while being sucked down into the whirlpool of irrelevance.

Not that I’m happy about it, far from it. Seeing my favourite show go down the drain does not give me pleasure, in any way. It makes me sad. It makes me depressed. It makes me cling to the pun-laden cringe-inducing SheZow; and the highly superior, but less exciting, Littlest Pet Shop.

I love the show, and I hate to see it fall apart. But this was bound to happen. Eventually, all programs, with the possible exception of Seinfeld, run out of ideas. The writing staff starts to come up dry, and have to resort to reading off the list of ideas they previously thought were too shit to bother writing.

And that’s exactly how season three felt, even though it was only thirteen episodes long. It actually felt more like they were taking cues from fan fiction. Even the final episode felt like a shitty fan story, rather than a well-thought-out, professionally made script.

It’s the same complaint I levelled at one of the final Animorphs books, back in the day. I was a huge fan of that series, but the way they saved Marco’s mother felt so contrived, and so forced, it actually made me sick. I don’t know what else to say about it. And don’t get me started on the actual ending.

But I digress. Now thankfully, during season three, there were a few episodes I liked. Wonderbolts Academy was pretty good, despite Spitfire’s apparent recharacterization. And Magic Duel, and Just for Sidekicks rank among my favourite episodes of all time, even if Peewee went walkabout.

But sadly, I found the rest of the season to be lacking, and Magical Mystery Cure was the first episode that I actually hated. Which is a tall order, you have to admit.

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that, when I first heard of Equestria Girls, I was a bit skeptical. I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be ready to jump in with both feet, excited for the latest release; their theatrical debut. But I wasn’t. Instead, I was scared. I was afraid it would be exactly as terrible as I expected, and make me give up my bronydom, and all that comes with it.

Sad Fluttershy

I’m so glad to be proven wrong. Continue reading →

Let’s Talk About Sex, Pony

Posted by BlackWidower on

Well, it’s finally happening. A major motion picture is being released as part of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic franchise.

To be honest, I’m a bit excited. I remember watching the time travel episode back in season two, when Tartarus was revealed to exist, and I thought that such a concept would be excellent fodder for an epic movie.

I mean, that’s why you make a film, right? To tell a story worthy of the format. One sufficiently epic and amazing that it could only be told in a two-hour movie.

Much like The Simpsons Movie, which told the story of how Springfield was nearly destroyed by an overzealous bureaucrat.

So the My Little Pony film will have a similar nature, right? … Right?

Well, it’s hard to say at this point. But I’m doubtful. For the plot appears to be about Twilight travelling to another universe, being transformed into a human, and meeting duplicates of all her friends, ala Sliders.

Yes, it’s the famed Equestria Girls spin-off we heard so much about. Turns out initial rumours were true. That it wouldn’t be a TV series, but a film.

I’m honestly a bit disappointed. I’d thought we’d get a bit more out of this idea, instead of just a short two-hour film… okay, scratch that, it’s actually one hour, which means the tickets should only be about five bucks, but instead are probably gonna cost twenty because the world sucks.

Regardless, the reaction has been interesting, and mostly negative. For instance, some have commented on the fact that, for the first time, the various fan groups will be congregating in one theatre. The primary demographic of eight-year-old girls, the bronies, and the furries.

Now, this isn’t necessarily terrible. As long as the bronies act with some semblance of dignity, we should be fine.

Besides, it was bound to happen eventually. I’m pretty sure some eight-year-old girls already attend the various brony conventions that pop up around the planet. So this isn’t new.

And as for the furries, those who are sexually attracted to animals. Well… it’s not like this film would make things worse. I mean, what’s changed? Very little, except for the fact that the characters are in high school, as humans… wearing miniskirts…

Oh… fuck!

Is this what it has come to? Is it really necessary to sexualize these characters? I hope I’m just reaching here, in fact I’m pretty sure I am. But it is a bit odd that the entire cast is wearing miniskirts.

That being said, it does speak to an unfortunate elephant that has been in this community since it’s began: Sex! Continue reading →

You Think About All The Friends That You Hate To Leave: “Summertime Blues” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

This past Friday, I made my final decision: In four months I’m leaving my hometown of Sudbury, Ontario and moving to Oshawa, Ontario to attend Durham College for their Computer Programmer Analyst Program. It’s a three-year program which is a huge commitment, especially for someone as old as me. But I’m excited, it’s a new era for me, as I finally get the chance to start life anew. After all, Journalism didn’t do anything for me. Maybe entering the tech industry will change things.

It’s also exciting because I have to admit, I don’t actually like this town. Nothing ever happens and the majority of the population is paste-eatingly stupid. So that’s two strikes against it. And really, I have nothing holding me here. No reason to stay. Some may mention my family, but as I’ve said before, I don’t actually like my family. So that doesn’t help.

Plus, the move is a chance to reset, and finally get rid of all the crap I’ve been accumulating after all these years.

It is an opportunity, and one I shall not miss.

And one other thing: I don’t think I’m ever coming back. I have no reason to, as I’ve already stated.

Oh, sure, I have friends, who I like, and will miss. But sadly, I’m not particularly close to any of them. We rarely spend any time together. So they don’t hold me back as much as one might think.

It’s actually kinda sad when you think about it. I first met these guys back in October. And ten months later, I may never see them again, unless we plan to meet up at the next Anime Convention. Let’s hope that happens.

But yeah, I’m leaving everything behind. And that’s why the first season finale of Littlest Pet Shop is one of the few episodes I could empathise with. Continue reading →

Littlest Kleptomaniacs: “Blythe’s Pet Project” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

Littlest Pet Shop is a strange show.

Our heroes are pets who live in a pet store, plus one human with Doctor Doolittle powers. Backing them up is an eccentric cast of mental patients, and an occasional random animal whom we never see again.

I still don’t get why Sugar Sprinkles went walkabout after her appearance, but Butterscotch kept coming back even though I want her to die.

I also don’t know why so many other animals visit once and are never heard from again. Like Gail, Zoe’s sister, who would have had every reason to make return appearances. In fact, I don’t know why Zoe visits the shop, but her sister doesn’t. Let me guess: Gail has a day job. She works retail.

But this week, we introduce another animal guest star. And this time, there a reason we’ll never see him again. Everyone hates him. Continue reading →

Egos, Lies and Dismemberment: “Frenemies” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

Friendship is not easy. Sometimes personalities clash, and tempers flare. Differing political opinions, religious views, and even something as mundane as one’s mood can cause a friendship to break apart.

Sometimes, this can also happen between people who are too alike. People whose egos are the size of planets, because generally, you can only have one alpha per group.

I’ve seen this happen a lot. And before you start making unfounded accusations; Yes, I was generally one of the egos. It’s something I’m working on.

But the collapse of a friendship can happen before you even realize it. Suddenly you say one wrong thing, they react, then you react, then suddenly you hate each other, and you think: “How did that happen, oh wait.”

It doesn’t ever feel good to lose a friend. Never. It feels even worse when you know for a fact that you’re in the wrong. So you stop, and do what you might be afraid to do: Apologize.

Some see it as a sign of weakness, especially American politicians. I don’t see how, but that’s how they see it.

I don’t agree. I just see it as something you do when you’re in the wrong. It can clear the air, and make everything better. It may not accomplish anything, and you might not get anything out of it, but that’s how the world works. You don’t get an award for doing the right thing.

But why do so many people take so long to admit they’re wrong? Egos, typically. And this week on Littlest Pet Shop, two of the show’s biggest egos go head-to-head and try to out-Pinkie-Pie one another. Forgetting why they’re doing it. Continue reading →

Best Frienemies: “Lotsa Luck” and “Door-Jammed” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

There’s a crucial difference between an adversary and a friend. Friends have a tendency to help you in any situation, regardless of how it might affect them.

Adversaries do the exact opposite.

How the hell could these lines blur?

Well, sometimes perception is everything. You may think someone is being mean or animus, or that they’re out to get you. When they may be the closest ally you will ever have.

In my personal experience, this has happened many times. Not just on the internet, as I’ve explained before, but in real life as well.

Once I had the unfortunate experience of having a prick as a roommate; he was a violent, arrogant, moronic bigot. I mentioned him before, and he’s since gotten his ass evicted by refusing to talk it out with the landlord. When the landlord asked to speak with him, he said he’d rather rest up for partying later that night.

I’m not sorry to see him go, but there is one thing to note: I actually tried to get along with him. I tried to help him. I didn’t want to see him evicted and I didn’t try to get him evicted. That was what everyone else did.

I was probably the closest thing he had to an ally in the entire building. But for some reason, he thought I was out to get him. He saw me as an enemy. And I had every reason to hate this guy, but I don’t hate. Pretty much as a rule, I don’t hate. I’d be a right ass if I did.

Maybe I need to pick a more a more universal analogy… The second half of Portal 2. Hey, that’s actually apt in several ways. Props to Jonathan Coulton for doing the impossible and writing an even better finale song than Still Alive.

Though I’m sure not everyone has played Portal 2. There must be another! AH! Littlest Pet Shop! Continue reading →

False Love: “Terriers and Tiaras” review

Posted by BlackWidower on

‘Why?’ is a simple question that people don’t ask often enough.

Why spend $10 on a movie ticket? Why take a trip to New York? Why write? Why work in retail? Why go to college?

Some of those questions might have legitimate or obvious answers. Then there are questions like this:

Why enter your pet in a dog show?

The typical answer to this might be: Because they love it! Because they have fun!

But, that would be an outright lie. Typically at a dog or cat show, the animals spend half their time trapped in steel cages, and the other half being examined like a piece of meat. The only fun they might have is the time they spend with you, which means the animal would have more fun at a park, or at home.

No, the real reason to enter your animal in a dog or cat show is for your own self-gratification. To win a prize and make your pointless and shallow life feel a bit more fulfilling. It’s the same reason one would write a blog where they insult people and put them down for no real reason. To make themselves feel big.

Wait…

Anyway, I have a hard time believing any animal enjoys those kinds of competitions. So it’s all for the owners, to socialize and shop for stuff they claim is for their pets but is really bought so they can show off.

It’s lies like these that piss me off. How many parents enter their children in talent shows and schedule showbiz auditions? Often, it’s not because the kids like it, but because the parent wanted to be in showbiz, so they try to live vicariously though their children.

Admittingly, I’m probably also gonna do that when I have kids.

Yes, it’s all about the adults, the owners, and the people who sit in the background. But they lie, to the world, and I assume themselves.

Which eloquently leads me into this week’s episode of Littlest Pet Shop. We all remember that Zoe is the diva right? Continue reading →

Rejected with Love

Posted by BlackWidower on

Allow me to tell you a story. After my recent hand injury, and subsequent surgery, which I still haven’t fully recovered from, I decided to try to submit my latest work of fiction, With Rainbow Hair, which only had two chapters at the time, to the world-famous brony blog, Equestria Daily.

Why? Well, because it’s the first story I’ve written with no romantic plot or sub-plot. And they have some rule against what they call ‘foalshipping.’ I’m pretty sure that means romance involving the younger members of the cast. Yes, all my other stories do contain romance involving at least one the famous Cutie Mark Crusaders. Why? Because it seems more interesting that way. In A Waking Dragon it’s a minor sub-plot, but it’s there.

I did submit My Little Destiny back in the day. But I never got a response, and since I learned of that rule, I never bothered submitting again, given future plot points.

Now, some may think this restriction on Equestria Daily, the banning of ‘foalshipping’ material on their site, constitutes censorship. I’ve seen quite a few people make this accusation. But I call bullshit!

It is a bit unfair that the most popular site, and pseudo central hub for all things brony, would make random and pointless restrictions on their content. After all, whether the romance involves Rarity or Sweetie Belle, what difference does it make from a moral perspective? But at the end of the day, it’s their site, and they can do what they want. They’re a private business, not a publicly owned institution.

That’s not to say we can’t criticize such action, we can. But calling it ‘censorship’ is just insane. After all, they don’t publish the material. They don’t host anything. In fact all they do is promote fan fiction. It has to be hosted on other sites, like FiMFiction, or the Pony Fiction Archive. If someone really wants to read ‘foalshipping’ material, they can go to those sites, or any other.

It’s the free market at work people!

But anyway, With Rainbow Hair doesn’t feature any shipping. Not even a little. So, that fact, combined with my incredible writing skills, made me think I was a shoe-in to get promoted on Equestria Daily. I’d get so much traffic, I’d be able to bathe in it. Maybe even some critical responses that would get me to think about certain plot-points. And more fans, motivating me to keep on writing!

How great would that have been!? Well It would have been fantastic. If only I actually got accepted.

No, they actually turned me down, and it made me angry. Not at Equestria Daily. They have a standard they want to keep and I salute them for it. No, the people I’m angry at are all the people who lied to me. Continue reading →