We’re Leavin’ All The Haters Behind: “One Bad Apple” review

Some people are assholes. Deal with it.

This is a lesson some people take longer to learn than others. Throughout my life, I’ve had to deal with difficult people, whether it be a classmate in college who was arrogant and pretentious, despite the fact that he didn’t have anything to be arrogant about; or the legions of jackasses I had to deal with in high school; or the coworker who yelled at me for trying to help.

These people were jerks. No way to lawyer that. But I had to work with them, so I did, and I found the best way to do that was to start every day anew. Even though we might yell at each other one day, I would not hold it against them the next day. It seemed to be the best way to handle it, because they tended to do the same thing. We would work together, and not hold grudges.

But sometimes, things don’t work out that well. Sometimes the jackass you have to deal with isn’t a coworker or a classmate, but a roommate. Sometimes, they hold a constant grudge against you, and yell at you over the most pointless shit.

This is what I’m dealing with now, a roommate who is loud, rude, arrogant, surly, and obnoxious. Have I tried dealing with this in the traditional way? Yes, I have confronted him on these issues, his response tended to be to deny there was a problem, or to just yell at me and call me a fag.

In these cases, simply trying to refresh every day does nothing…believe me, I’ve tried it. So, what options do I have left? Only one I can think of…

But different people deal with these kinds of things in different ways, and it is a problem one has to deal with, at one point or another, throughout their entire lives. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders, as we see on this week’s episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

The episode opens with Apple Bloom in a panic, shouting, ‘What to wear, what to wear!?” As if she’s planning on impressing a handsome colt. But no, she’s actually trying to impress her cousin from Manehatten: Babs Seed. Somepony whom she’s never met before. I understand wanting to make a good first impression, but considering any type of clothing would be considered formal wear in Equestria, it might be better to forego it.

Wait, why does Apple Bloom own a Sailor Fuku?

Anyway, it’s quickly revealed to Apple Bloom that her cousin doesn’t have her cutie mark, so the only logical reaction to this would be to summon the others and recruit Babs into the Crusaders. Exciting times my friends.

One interesting point: in Sweetie Belle’s excitement, her horn releases green sparks. Well, that settles that, her magic’s not pink, as I once assumed.

So we meet Babs, and the Crusaders immediately greet her, a bit too enthusiastically if you ask me. I can’t tell if she was unnerved by that, but if I were her, I’d start shouting ‘RAPE!!!’

As they’re explaining what the Cutie Mark Crusaders are, we get our first bit of characterization out of her, as her tail quickly covers her flank. Obviously this girl is a bit insecure over her blank flank, much like Apple Bloom was in Call of the Cutie from season one. They explain they’re always looking for new members, which perplexes me, because there are several background characters without their marks but none of them have been recruited. Why not!?

They show her around the clubhouse, and then follow-up by showing off their big float for the Summer Harvest Parade: a giant pumpkin. But it’s at that moment Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon show up to mock the float, which strikes me as odd because it is exceptionally well-made.

Hold on! Why were they there in the first place? I’m surprised Apple Bloom hasn’t put out a restraining order against these girls.

Anyway, the queen bitches end up dragging Babs in, and comment that they’re impressed with her hometown. So, and this is the odd part, Babs starts mocking the Crusaders, and are immediately accepted into Diamond and Silver’s group. She even goes so far as to destroy the float. Which upsets all three of the Crusaders, plus me, because I could tell they put a lot of hard work into it.

So, distressed that someone they thought of as a friend, quickly turned into an enemy, they decide the most rational solution would be to avoid her like the plague. Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done, since Babs appears to be on a personal vendetta against them. I know how they feel.

Cue big musical montage where we see them try, and fail, to avoid Babs.

Then something weird happens; Babs annexes the clubhouse. The treehouse they worked their asses off shaping up, has been stolen. I think we can all agree, if she hadn’t crossed any line before, she’s crossed it now.

A quick regroup at Sweetie Belle’s house later, they decide it’s time to fight back.

The plan is simple: public humiliation, just like in that movie, Carrie. They build a float that is so beautiful, Babs couldn’t resist driving it. It works, she steals the float, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders revel in victory.

But all is not well, as Applejack arrives and explains that Babs was having some problems in Manehatten, constantly bullied for her blank flank…oh boy.

Suddenly, they have a change of heart, and try to stop their trap from triggering, by chasing down Babs. They try to explain to her what’s going on, but stubborn old Babs refuses to listen. Been there. You try to help someone, and they refuse to listen. If you ask me, what happens after that, is all on her.

So they chase down the float, and break in, pushing Babs out just as the trap is triggered, and it heads straight into the lake. Thankfully, every one survives, and Babs suddenly has a change of heart for some reason. Best guess: that’s because they saved her life.

As they climb out of the wreckage, we see the former press operator and current photographer of the Foal Free Press, who I call Ink Jet, taking photos of the girls. You know, he doesn’t have a cutie mark either girls. Why isn’t he in your group?

So Babs is recruited, and we get an odd initiation sequence, as she’s given a Cutie Mark Crusader cape! Something we haven’t seen since season one’s Stare Master. I didn’t know they still had those things. I guess they’re supposed to act like dress uniforms.

The episode ends with Babs heading back to Manehatten, with plans to start a new Crusader branch. She’s gonna have fun recruiting there! But it’s at that moment, Diamond and Silver show up to get in a few more licks, only to discover that Babs has switched sides, and she’s uses the techniques of intimidation and aggression that I’m guessing they taught her, against them. That’s right, the student has exceeded the masters. Fucking awesome!

As Babs boards the train, we see Sweetie Belle try to explain modern slang to Applejack. Stop trying, you’ll never succeed.

So, with that we close off this week’s episode. Next week, we get an episode I’ve been dreading since it was first announced: The return of Trixie. Let’s hope all my fears are vanquished and we get a really good episode…but I wouldn’t hold my breath.


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