Last week, I mentioned how perplexing it was that Hasbro hasn’t released a White Celestia. A toy that has been requested by every member of the fan community since day one. I figured it was the same reason they haven’t released a DVD box set: A crippling fear of money and success. Turns out I’m wrong. You see, a few hours after I posted that, the news hit the community: They are releasing a white Celestia!

WOOHOO!!! I’m excited! Not just for the Celestia, but for the rest of the gang: A glow-in-the-dark Zecora; DJ Pon-3; and Nightmare Moon, which I thought was a completely unique mould, until I noticed a Celestia that they probably based it off of. There’s also everyone favourite bitch: the Great and Powerful Trixie, and my personal favourite: Heartstrings…or Lyra, if you prefer.

But of course, things being as they are, this isn’t actually a perfect scenario. For one thing, they are all Toys ‘R’ Us exclusives. Which isn’t a major problem, after all, I do have a Toys ‘R’ Us in my home town. But there are a few problems. First, my local Toys ‘R’ Us has a very small pony section. Second, I’ll bet you any money that “Toys ‘R’ Us exclusive” really means “Toys ‘R’ Us in the U.S. exclusive.” Why do I think this? Because the last Toys ‘R’ Us exclusive the pony fans got, was a pack of twelve ‘blind bag’ toys, and this pack, while available at every American Toys ‘R’ Us, is not available in Canada, anywhere.

So I have a feeling that history will repeat itself and Canadians will, once again, get the shaft! Like we do at Target, which is something I’ve talked about before. But at least with the Target deal, it’s understood why we get the shaft. There are no Targets in Canada, but there are Toys ‘R’ Us…es. So why shouldn’t we get the White Celestia!?

Of course then again, one could always go to the store and ask. Perhaps they can special order it, I mean I’m pretty sure they are technically the same company. I’m sure they would love to find out there are bronies in this town, and I’m even more sure they would love to take my money. Then again, I think there’s some law that says: companies operating in Canada have to be Canadian owned. So, it might be a completely different company. A company that has the same name, but doesn’t have the same deal with Hasbro. Which would be bullshit.

Another problem with the new toys, is this: the White Celestia appears to be only available in the jumbo size. Which makes her three times the height of any of the standard toys. Celestia is not a giant! She’s only maybe one head taller than any other pony, her toy should only be that tall, no taller. If you are aiming at selling us show accurate toys, then you shouldn’t half-ass it by getting the colour right but the size way off. Plus, this isn’t like Power Rangers or something, where selling a Megazord that’s to scale with the action figures would make it the size of a house. We’re talking about a pony that’s less than an inch taller. Turn this one white, and everything would be perfect!

There is one last thing I’d like to say: This is the first real proof we have that Hasbro is actually listening to the fans, and not just saying that they are. They actually did what we’ve been asking for since the beginning. It’s only a matter of time before we get a DVD box set. At least…I hope.

Okay, I’m done. I got all I needed to say off my chest. Now onto the main act: This week’s episode.

This week is all about everyone’s favourite pink party pony: Pinkie Pie. Pinkie is friends with everypony in town, and loves to make them smile, cue big musical number.

You know, this season, there has been a big problem with the musical numbers. They are all done straight. Nothing wrong with that, but one of the things about this show that initially appealed to me, was the fact that most of the big musical numbers were done with a bit of self-awareness. Some were done straight, but they were the exception, not the rule. This season, it’s been reversed, most of the songs are done straight, except for a few, which happen to be sung by Pinkie Pie. I liked it better when most of the characters found Pinkie’s singing quite annoying. Like I do.

So the song is about how she loves to make everyone in town smile because they are all her friends. That’s another thing, doesn’t she realize that if everyone is her friend, the word loses all meaning. That’s one of the reasons I hate Facebook.

Anyway, a new citizen arrives in Ponyville, named Cranky Doodle Donkey. He’s travelled all over Equestria, and is now looking to retire in Ponyville. Pinkie Pie takes the opportunity to welcome the new arrival, and offer her friendship, by annoying him. I’d be surprised if her technique worked more often than it didn’t. He tells her off and walks away.

Unfortunately, Pinkie doesn’t take to rejection well. So she goes after him trying to win his friendship, and her technique involves going through his stuff, covering him in cake batter, destroying his toupee and announcing to the entire town that he’s bald. Yeah, that’s how you get friends. (He says sarcastically.)

So, Pinkie tries to make up for all the faux pas she made by treating him to a full treatment at the Ponyville spa and buying him a brand new toupee, and it looks good. So he begins to warm up to her, but then she ruins it by helping him move, and accidentally destroying a scrapbook, which happens to be his most prized possession.

I think I should mention, I’m back to hating Derpy. Only because her appearance this episode was inside a snow globe. Which doesn’t make sense in any context. It’s like she’s become this show’s version of Waldo.

Anyway, back to the show. Cranky is…er…less then pleased about this turn of events. He throws Pinkie out of his house and yells at her. Leaving Pinkie heartbroken and in tears. She goes to see Twilight, possibly to ask for advice.

The first thing I noticed about this episode was that it has more callbacks than any other. The cold open features the Cake twins, we see a cow we haven’t heard from since she nearly destroyed Ponyville in Applebuck Season, and Zecora makes an appearance. Which some may not count as callbacks, but with the exception of Zecora these are characters who we haven’t seen since their introductions. I assumed they didn’t exist at all outside those episodes.

Then, when Pinkie’s talking to Twilight, we see Rainbow in the corner, reading the tales of Daring Do! This shocked me because I didn’t know this show had any continuity. It was stated early on that with a few exceptions, the series was meant to be watched in any order. So to see an episode mention a previous episode, is extremely shocking to me.

Pinkie comes to the realization that she should just leave Cranky alone, but insists he accepts her apology first. So Pinkie arrives to ask for Cranky’s forgiveness, and he runs. So begins a chase across Ponyville.

I find her apology looses a lot of weight considering she gives it with a smile on her face. She should learn how to make, or at least fake, a frowny face.

Cranky explains why he’s so upset. The scrapbook was the only thing he had to remember ‘her’ by. Then Pinkie comes to the realization that she’s seen the contents of that scrapbook before. So she goes to the only donkey mare in town, Matilda, who happens to store the same thing in her scrapbook.

Turns out, decades ago, these two met at the Grand Galloping Gala! Another callback! They fell in love, but she had to leave early, which isn’t really explained and that kinda bugs me. So following that Cranky spent decades crossing the nation, looking for her. Dude, seriously, are you that hung up!? Move on! That’s a bit obsessive.

So, anyway, turns out Matilda was in Ponyville the whole time, and she was waiting for him. Again, that is actually kinda sad. Seriously, wouldn’t one of the two of them move on!? They spent one evening together, and didn’t even fuck! I assume they didn’t because he said, “when I came to your room the next day.” Which means they didn’t spend the night together, which means sex is a bit unlikely. So why were so hung up on each other?

Maybe they tried to move on after a while, but couldn’t get the other out of their head. True, long-lost love. Kinda sweet.

So it’s another romance in Ponyville, and I thought last week was a fluke. Turns out I am proven wrong yet again. I am happy.

If I had to rank this episode, I’d say it’s around average, not great, but not terrible either, and the moral was pretty solid. No overall complaints, I must say.

Next week, Fluttershy learns to be more assertive from a “self-help guru.” I have a feeling I’m going to hate it. I have two reasons so far. Though it does feature my favourite pony, so that’s good. She hasn’t gotten a lot of screen-time recently.