Apple Family Development: “Apple Family Reunion” review

Well, it’s that time of year again. The time where we drop what we’re doing and cross the country (or maybe just the city), to join our friends and family for some joyous holiday celebrations.

I guess most people enjoy spending time with family…I don’t. They’re annoying, insipid, and any time I spend with them, my outlook can be best described as: begrudged. I’d rather spend time with people I actually care about: My friends, or the internet.

For the most part, any special occasion or event is just an excuse to spend time with the people you love: friends and/or family. The events themselves don’t matter.

No one really cares about Christmas…not really. They care about giving/receiving gifts; and spending time with loved ones, talking, catching up, and maybe bonding through a few casual games.

Once you get a bunch of people together in the same room, they tend to make their own fun. You don’t need to plan anything in order for people to have a good time. Bring some food, drinks, maybe some music, and you’re set.

Unfortunately, not everyone realizes this. Many parent try to schedule their kids lives down to the minute. Others plan social events with so much detail, that no one gets any time to sit down, relax and do their own thing.

Which leads me perfectly into this week’s episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, as Applejack organizes this year’s Apple Family Reunion and, as expected, completely messes it up. Continue reading

The Wonderbolt Test: “Wonderbolt Academy” review

In order to be successful in life, one must first understand what success means to them.

For me, this is easy: I want to become a published novelist. For others it might involve making a shitload of money, or winning some award. But there’s always something they need to aspire to.

Once that’s done, you must then understand how far you’re willing to go.

We all have our limits, things we simply won’t do no matter what the consequences, or what we may get out of it.

Okay, that’s not entirely true. Not everyone has those boundaries. In fact, some don’t have any boundaries. These people are known as psychopaths, and on this week’s episode of My Little Pony, we learn they also exist in Equestria. Continue reading

Fear of Dreaming: “Sleepless in Ponyville” review

Fear is one of those odd things that is hard to understand.

Of course we all understand being afraid. No one wants to get injured or die, so avoiding it, and things that can cause it, sounds like a good idea. But the instinctual response of fear doesn’t always make sense. How does shitting your pants stop a bear from eating you?

Some people freeze when they’re afraid. What’s that about? One would think running like hell would be the appropriate response.

Then you have the truly irrational fears. Fear of ghosts, fear of the boogie man, fear of things that simply do not exist. If I was an evolutionary biologist or anthropologist, I might be able to explain it. But I’m not, so I can’t.

But here’s the most irrational thing about fear: This idea that merely being afraid of something makes you weak. It doesn’t. Being afraid that you’ll fall off a building, that’s rational. Not being afraid you’ll fall off doesn’t make you brave, it makes you stupid…or it means you have really good balance.

Bravery is not simply the lack of fear, it’s the acknowledgement of fear, and the ability to move past it when required to accomplish your goals…whatever they are.

Which ever so subtly brings me to this week’s episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which is notable for being the first episode, since the show premiered two years ago, devoted to everyone’s favourite neglected pegasus: Scootaloo. Continue reading

Magic, Lies, and Forbidden Amulets: “Magic Duel” review

You know what I love? Being proven wrong. It’s fun! It means I’m learning, and today, I certainly learned something.

I said before that I didn’t expect the reappearance of Trixie on this season of My Little Pony, to be any good. After all, the only reason they were doing it was to please the fans, and that typically ends badly. After all, fans don’t know what they want. Fans should just let the creative geniuses behind their favourite properties do their jobs, and not pester them to turn the show into Total Request Pony.

But perhaps I was thinking about this the wrong way. After all, perhaps they didn’t do it simply because the fans asked for it, but in spite of that. Perhaps someone on the staff just had a great idea that required bringing an old villain back. They just decided to roll with it. I like that thought.

I say this because I’m going to completely 180 on my previous stance. You see the reappearance of Trixie is, so far, the best episode of season three. Continue reading

We’re Leavin’ All The Haters Behind: “One Bad Apple” review

Some people are assholes. Deal with it.

This is a lesson some people take longer to learn than others. Throughout my life, I’ve had to deal with difficult people, whether it be a classmate in college who was arrogant and pretentious, despite the fact that he didn’t have anything to be arrogant about; or the legions of jackasses I had to deal with in high school; or the coworker who yelled at me for trying to help.

These people were jerks. No way to lawyer that. But I had to work with them, so I did, and I found the best way to do that was to start every day anew. Even though we might yell at each other one day, I would not hold it against them the next day. It seemed to be the best way to handle it, because they tended to do the same thing. We would work together, and not hold grudges.

But sometimes, things don’t work out that well. Sometimes the jackass you have to deal with isn’t a coworker or a classmate, but a roommate. Sometimes, they hold a constant grudge against you, and yell at you over the most pointless shit.

This is what I’m dealing with now, a roommate who is loud, rude, arrogant, surly, and obnoxious. Have I tried dealing with this in the traditional way? Yes, I have confronted him on these issues, his response tended to be to deny there was a problem, or to just yell at me and call me a fag.

In these cases, simply trying to refresh every day does nothing…believe me, I’ve tried it. So, what options do I have left? Only one I can think of…

But different people deal with these kinds of things in different ways, and it is a problem one has to deal with, at one point or another, throughout their entire lives. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders, as we see on this week’s episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Continue reading

Multipinkity: “Too Many Pinkie Pies” review

Imagine you had to make a choice, some type of decision that basically came down to: how do you want to spend your time? For instance, you can spend the next two years studying Journalism, Cooking, or IT…I might be projecting there; or you have to choose whether to continue to date a girl you had a crush on for years, or her little sister…I’m actually writing that story.

It seems like this kind of problem could be resolved easily if one could clone themselves. Unfortunately, we are not Michael Keaton in Multiplicity, Arnold Schwarzenegger in The 6th Day, or that kid Carl in that cartoon I haven’t seen and have little desire to.

I’ve always contemplated what that would be like. What if there was another me around? Would we get along, or would I find him as annoying as others find me? More importantly, would he be willing to follow my orders? Doubt that.

But what if you did it? Somehow managed to clone your own ass! Would the results be beneficial, or disastrous? I guess it all comes down to whether you could control them. Something Pinkie Pie fails to do in this week’s episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Continue reading

The Crystal Arc: “The Crystal Empire” review

Oh, yes, it’s that time again! Time for a new season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, a show which, as I’ve said before, is amazing, despite the title.

Now, I know what you’re going to say: Why would any self-respecting grown man bother watching a television show aimed at little girls?

Well, the answer is simple: because any self-respecting grown man wouldn’t care who the target audience was, as long as the content was entertaining and well-written. That is, assuming they’re not a sexist bigoted prick!

Anyway, since I started getting into the show, it changed my life. Not in any substantially profound way, though, but in a weird way. It inspired me to write some amazing stories (at least I think they’re amazing), and stick with them (unlike that Harry Potter story which I abandoned two chapters in). But more recently, it earned me several new friends.

A few weeks ago, I attended a meet-up with my fellow…er…My Little Pony fans…here in my hometown. We went bowling, chatted and had an all-around merry time. It was great fun for me for several reasons, not the least of which being the fact that until that day, I had no idea that there were any other pony-fans in this city. It was a major discovery, finding a group of people in a location you didn’t think they would exist in.

Which leads me eloquently into the new season premiere, where Brigadoon appears in Northern Equestria. Okay, it’s the long-lost Crystal Empire, but it might as well be Brigadoon! Continue reading

Purell: the Movie

Bacteria, viruses, microbes, parasites, allergens, heavy metals, toxins. All things that can make you sick and/or kill you.

But thankfully, for those of us born in the more modern nations, we are pretty safe from those things. Despite what the goddamn media and the goddamn pseudoscientists tell us. But it doesn’t stop some people from being paranoid as shit regarding these kinds of things. They’ll wash their hands twenty times a day, or refuse to shake anyone’s hand or open any door knob. People like me.

I have OCD, and I am extremely paranoid about this kinda thing, even though I know there’s no reason to be. So you know I’m the perfect person to do a review of Contagion. The movie about a virus that causes a proper pandemic and leaves the world in a near post-apocalypse. This is going to be fun. Continue reading