Freud Would Have a Field Day

The horror genre has become cliché. It’s just the same fucking movie over and over again. Sometimes you get an original flick, like 28 Days Later, with its mid-movie twist of like-I’m-gonna-tell-you. But for the most part, it’s pretty much the same movie, remade fifty time. That was the whole premise of Scream, the film that quantified the genre rules by outright stating them.

The fact is, if someone manages to define genre rules, it’s officially cliché. This is especially bad when it comes to horror, which, for the most part, relies on the unexpected.

Even the monsters have become cliché. No matter what film you’re talking about, there are only a few options for antagonists: Vampires, Werewolves and Zombies. No one’s come up with anything more unique. Okay, there are also serial killers, but that’s not from anyone’s imagination, those already exist. The most unique thing anyone’s done with serial killers is give them super-murder-powers, but they’re still just serial killers.

The unoriginality of horror films doesn’t really surprise me though. I recently tried a bit of a thought experiment to come up with a new horror monster by starting with a base fear. Obviously it would be something that wants you dead, for some reason. Biologically those reasons could only be for reproduction or nutrition. Otherwise why would they give a fuck? They would be fast, and stealthy and basically the perfect warrior, and typically attack in massive numbers. To a certain extent, this fits zombies to a tee. Zombies are based on a basic primal fear, one that is likely universal in the truest sense of the word.

But perhaps one could take the zombie model and throw it in a new direction, like space. Unfortunately, that has also been done, by Ridley Scott in Alien. Continue reading

Dream a Little Dream Within a Dream

Dreaming, we all do it. But am I the only one who keeps forgetting them?

I hear if you wake up on your own accord, without an alarm, you’ll remember whatever you dreamed that night, but screw that, I got things to do, and a brain that just won’t cooperate.

But still, on occasion, I manage to remember a really good dream the next day. Those are always fun. The ones where I fly around town with Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle as my wingmares. Yes, I know Twilight’s not a pegasus! Shut up! It’s my dream, not yours!

Anyway, dreams are great. They’re the only real time your mind truly runs free, unconstrained by reality or sanity. But the big problem with dreams, is that you really don’t get to share them with others. It’s a solitary experience.

Don’t you wish you and a friend could dream together? Experience the joys of running free in each other’s subconscious and share what you create? Social Dreaming! Wouldn’t that be fun? Wouldn’t that be exciting!?

Unfortunately, we can’t share dreams, it’s simply not possible. Unless we’re Ellen Page in Christopher Nolan’s epic sci-fi heist film: Inception. Continue reading

Bullshit in Disguise

So, anyone who regularly follows my blog will no doubt notice that in recent months I’ve written exclusively about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. So, to avoid the reputation that this is a one note pony blog, I’ve decided to change it up a bit by writing about another Hasbro property…oh shut up, it’s all I have right now.

You know what’s funny? The origins of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Bear with me on this. You see, the story goes that Lauren Faust was trying to sell a show based on her Galaxy Girls IP, no I’m not exactly sure what it’s about, to Hasbro, they turned her down but made her a different offer.

You see recently they’ve had great success in getting one mind to lead another one of their franchises and put their own style on it. Using a big name to drive it and turn it into something amazing. So they gave her the opportunity to mould My Little Pony into her own vision. This earlier franchise and the mind that drove it, inspiring Hasbro to give Faust the metaphorical reins of My Little Pony? Transformers and Michael Bay. Continue reading

I Saw It, It’s Alive, It’s Huge!

The giant monster movie genre is one that hasn’t gotten a lot of attention in western culture. In ’98 we had the bastard love child of Roland Emmerich and Godzilla, and in 2005 Peter Jackson decided to copy a 72-year-old film rather than come up with an original idea. But beyond those two there weren’t any western monsters that one could call our own, and there are none at all that we could be proud of, particularly in recent history. I mean both Kong and Zilla were taken down by guns and missiles respectively. Fucking pussies. Compare that to the real Godzilla who can survive a fucking nuke to the face.

At least, that was true until 2008, when Cloverfield was released. Possibly one of the greatest monster movies ever made.

Cloverfield was surrounded by much mystery up until its January 2008 release because it was produced by J.J. Abrams. But I’ll get into that later. All that mystery contributed to the much deserved hype. It’s unique and engaging and I for one, loved it. Continue reading

Tea, Earl Grey, Hot

I like Star Trek. Like there’s a surprise there. In the past I never really got into it because it never airs on TV anymore, at least my TV because I don’t have cable. But I love the concept, a future society where humanity is spread out throughout the galaxy, and allied with many other races and societies, with advanced technology to facilitate that. It’s quite interesting, and it seems plausible. The world of Star Trek feels like it takes place in reality, something Star Wars can’t really claim.

Not that I’m saying Star Wars is bad, but when you have things like the Force, an inexplicable energy field that encompasses the galaxy and gives certain people supernatural powers, it gets a little hard to take. I mean it’s cool and all, but…does it make sense? And don’t get me started on the concept of Lightsabers! How exactly can a blade made of light stop another blade made of light when the blade made of light is controlled by the hilt made of not light, and not the other way around? It’s like being physically incapable of pointing a gun at something.

Anyway, I’m not here to bash Star Wars, I’m here to talk about Star Trek. My favourite series would have to be Voyager primarily because of the desperate situation they find themselves in. Cut off and isolated. Kinda like Battlestar Galactica, only, you know, with replicators and not being hunted by evil robots who look human. Actually, wait…there’s the Borg…and Seven of Nine allies herself with the good guys, kinda like Sharon from BSG. Wow, I just realized how uncreative Ronald D. Moore is. Continue reading

Tom Clancy Doesn’t Know NetFrak

Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh.

So approximately ten years ago I was on a trip to Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan with my mommy at the local casino so she could gamble and I could loiter in the hotel. At the in-house gift store I spotted a copy of NetForce, a Tom Clancy novel which caught my eye because I recently saw the made-for-TV movie of the same name and I enjoyed it. So I bought the novel, but me being ten years younger and ten years stupider than I currently am, I could not get through the first chapter. It wasn’t until recently, after going up into storage and pulling out a bunch of old books that I never finished, that I finally got around to reading it. Continue reading

Aooooo! Vampires of London-Wait!

-that doesn’t fit. Who cares I need something! Anyway, I think it’s safe to say I love the vampire mythos. Why? Vampires are a general cornucopia of drama. They combine the fear of zombies with the intelligence of the modern man. Imagine you are a zombie but you are fully aware of it and in complete control of your body, not a mindless automaton, oh and your body is not decaying so you can “live” forever. This makes them, in a way, tortured souls and more importantly, victims. They were once human, often forcibly turned vampire by another vampire (making them victims), but often times they become perpetrators out of necessity because of their dependence on human blood. Continue reading