Monthly Archives: June 2014

An Alien Confusion: “War of the Weirds” review

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I would love to meet an alien. Who wouldn’t?

To start, I think it would be nice to finally know that we’re not alone in the universe; It’d make existence seem less lonely. We’d be exposed to a brand new culture, one we couldn’t have even fathomed before, and we’d gain new ideas about biology and evolution. We’d have new motivation to explore the stars ourselves, and they could answer the mysteries of the universe we still haven’t solved. Like how to travel faster than light, what dark matter is, and why American Idol is still on the air.

I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be excited to meet an alien. Well, racists probably wouldn’t be too happy. They have a problem with members of the same species who just happen to have higher melanin content. Imagine how they would react to a six-armed tentacle beast, even if it just wanted to be your friend and help you cure cancer.

But for the most part, I think we’d be happy to meet alien life. Even if we never met; Even if we just knew they existed because they sent us a radio message. I think that alone would change everything, and maybe make us appreciate our own existence even more.

So all that being said, you’ll understand where I’m coming from when I say, if you think you’ve been abducted by aliens, you’re wrong.

Believe me, I wish you weren’t! Because that would prove aliens existed. But if you have no evidence, your claim has no weight. So here’s what I suggest: Next time you get taken to the flying saucer, when the aliens are looking the other way, reach over and grab something off the desk. Anything! Because no matter what it is, it’ll be a miracle of technology to us on Earth.

The same goes with sightings of flying saucers, and the various alien conspiracies that have cropped up over the years. Show me the proof, and I’ll believe you. Primarily because I want to believe you. But if you can’t prove it, I won’t.

I’m not saying you’re lying. But it’s pretty easy to confuse one thing for another. To see something in the sky you don’t immediately recognize, and assume it’s something unusual. But that doesn’t mean it is.

And that’s an important thing to remember: Just because something seems paranormal, doesn’t mean it is. And that message was sent quite clearly during a recent episode of Littlest Pet Shop… which I totally saw coming. Continue reading →

Coming Up Raccoons: “Sleeper” review

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Back in April, approximately two months ago, Littlest Pet Shop had its second season finale.

It wasn’t a bad episode, but it wasn’t a great one either. Sort of middle-ground sludge, just waiting for something to happen. All it seemed to do was set up future plot points as Blythe becomes a well-known pet-fashion designer. And to end a season on that seems like they’re just egging us on. Hey, look at all the great storylines we have planned! And you’ll have to wait ’til next season to see them!

A lot of shows do this, end seasons on cliffhangers, and it always annoys me. I guess they really want us to tune in for next season, but it’s unnecessary. I was already on board. All this does is make me irritated, and anxious, during the break. And it gets even worse if the show is cancelled on a season finale cliffhanger.

However, in the case of Littlest Pet Shop, we don’t have to wait so long for the continuation to this story; because a mere seven weeks later, the next season premiered.

Fuckers just aren’t wasting any time are they? Continue reading →

The Test of a Lifetime: “Testing Testing 1, 2, 3” review

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I’ll tell you one thing: I love being a student.

I constantly learn new things, I’m staying relatively productive, I get out of the house, and I have a set schedule that I can’t blow off.

Now, that may not seem like a fun time, but it’s way better than being unemployed while having nothing to do.

Plus, I’m earning a diploma, to begin a lucrative career in a field I love. Assuming I can actually find a job this time.

But if there’s one thing that annoys the hell out of me: it’s tests. I don’t mind taking tests, per say. I’m just annoyed at how they’re done, and what people think of them.

There’s a common problem in western education known as ‘teaching to the test.’ We’ve all heard of this. Where the entire education system isn’t designed for the purposes of teaching students material they’re interested in, in a fun and practical way. It’s all about getting them to pass tests. In fact, you may have entire lessons devoted to teaching students all about test-taking strategies, as if it’s a goddamn video game!

The test should fit the material, the material should not fit the test. Now, to a certain extent, I do believe in a consistent and universal curriculum. In most of the US, for instance, the public school curriculums are designed at a local level. And this basically means that the depth, breadth, and by extension quality of a child’s education may vary from town to town. And don’t even get me started on the backward and ignorant rednecks trying to bring religion into biology classrooms. Just thinking about that makes me cry. I weep for those children’s futures.

But if you have a province-wide curriculum, like we do in Ontario, how do you ensure it’s being followed? Well, primarily, by trusting the teachers and administrators. And not by giving them standardized tests that examine whether or not a student can read. Let’s be honest, if someone has made it to grade 10, I’m pretty sure they’re literate. Someone would’ve spotted it otherwise.

Ideally, education should prepare a student for the adult world. It should give them a set of skills that’ll help them be informed citizens, discerning consumers, responsible financial managers, and skilled workers. In what circumstance does knowing how to fill out a damn Scantron form help in any area? Are there professional test-takers out there?

Not that tests shouldn’t be done. I think it’s important to check whether or not someone knows what they should know. But the tests should be relevant to the material. In IT, we have this down. Most of my exams this year have been practical exams, where all we have to do is design a program, or website, just like any other assignment we’ve had, only with a 2 hour time limit, and we’re not allowed to talk to anyone. And yes, we were allowed to look at our old assignments, and Google, because that’s exactly what we’d have access to in the workplace as well. Memorizing every possible function and command isn’t really necessary, so why should we have to do it?

But then there’s written theory tests, where you have to work entirely off memory. And to a certain extent, one should have basic conversational knowledge, and be able to discuss the various concepts in a casual setting, and you can’t just pull out a reference book in the middle of a conversation. But when exactly are the names of every single SQL data type going to be necessary to bring up in conversation.

I just don’t think it’s necessary. Just like knowing the history of an organization before joining that organization. It’s not necessary, nor should it be mandatory.

Which brings me to the realm of Equestria, where it is mandatory for Rainbow Dash to memorize the history of the Wonderbolts to join the Wonderbolts Reserve, which is now a thing! Continue reading →

A Chance for Success: “The Expo Factor” review

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A season finale is a chance to do something big, something epic, something amazing! Just like season premieres, or holiday specials, or mid-season two-parters.

This is opposed to the filler episodes that are produced because you’ve been commissioned for 26 episodes, and have to put something out.

Most shows operate in this vein. You have a few big event-based episodes, where most of the effort and budget goes, and other episodes are produced on smaller budgets so one has enough money to pay for the bigger episodes. Star Trek did this all the time. They were called ‘bottle shows,’ where old sets and props were reused, no major visual effects were added, and no major guest-stars were hired. The prime example might be Twisted, where the main cast was trapped on the holodeck and surrounding corridors, as a spacial distortion ran through the ship. Not much happened, and not much had to be built. I think the hardest part of production was the Photoshop filters they had to include.

It’s just the nature of the beast in live-action television. A low-budget episode has to use already-existing sets, and can’t do anything spectacular. Animation, on the other hand, can already be done on-the-cheap quite easily, even with new backgrounds, effects, and animation assets. Let’s be honest, I doubt it takes the animators more than an hour or two to knock out a brand new location. Especially with modern animation software. Draw a few dozen vectors and you’re done! Alright, I’m probably over simplifying. The point is, animation is cheap. You don’t need to hire an army of contractors to build a set, when you can hire three guys to draw stuff on computers.

Because of this, every episode can be big and epic. But you don’t want to devalue awesomeness. And one of the reasons I like My Little Pony and Littlest Pet Shop, is that the episodes rarely adhere to any kind of formula. It runs the gamut from charming slice-of-life, to balls-to-the-wall adventure. Because I remember watching Power Rangers when I was a kid, and after a while, it all gets kinda samey.

But when all is said and done, you want to end with a bang. Which is why I think a season finale should feature something big. The first season of My Little Pony, for instance, ended with the Grand Galloping Gala, which certainly fit the bill. Sure, there were no epic fight sequences, but it was a big event where a lot happened, and the anticipation was built up over several preceding episodes.

Much like the recent season finale of Littlest Pet Shop, where Blythe finally participates in the International Pet Fashion Expo!

This is something that we’ve been waiting on for months, since Blythe sold her scooter so she could enter the thing. References have been dropped since then, and one could assume it would be a large-scale adventure, much like the Grand Galloping Gala was.

Unfortunately, that really didn’t happen. Continue reading →