Fashion Follies

Well, it’s been an interesting few months, hasn’t it?

I, myself, have pretty much restarted my life. I’ve gone back to college, for the second time, and am taking computer programming. It’s the first step to becoming a real IT professional.

That’s not to say I’m leaving my writing behind, far from it. I’ve just found something to add to my life, not take over; and I think it’s an important thing to consider: You should never let anything take over your life. That’d be horrid. We all need balance in what we do.

I, for instance, need a bit of writing, and a bit of schooling. I like the occasional video game, and various television shows. Nothing takes over my life completely. I may be learning to program the things, but I don’t obsess over computers, they’re just a useful tool. They’re just another part of my life. But, I got other things going on.

Which brings me to the season premiere of Littlest Pet Shop, my favourite show that hasn’t been cancelled yet.

When we last left our heroine, Blythe, like myself, had left her hometown for the sake of her career. Going to Fashion University North to attend their summer fashion camp.

The episode itself was a bit of a damp squib, but now is the chance it has to retroactively redeem itself.

We open with Blythe’s internal monologue, where she talks about her new home, Fashion University North, and the So What Student Dorm (I might have misheard that) where she lives with her roommate: McKenna, voiced by Rarity with a terrible southern accent. Seriously, Tabitha St. Germain should not do southern accents. Or at least not by combining them with Rarity’s voice.

But what about the internal monologue? We haven’t seen that since the season one premiere, which sort of confuses me. I get that while writing the first episode they probably thought they’d try it out, but it didn’t work, so they might have abandoned the idea. But bringing back the internal monologue seems odd.

Come to think of it, I actually think opening every episode with 30 seconds of some character’s internal monologue would not have been a bad idea. Why they open only two episodes with it is beyond me.

Anyway, while Blythe loves fashion camp, she still misses home.

And we quickly learn the pets miss her too. In fact, they seem to be continuously moping about it.

How long has she been gone? I guess not long if they haven’t adjusted yet. A few days at most.

And, you know, I understand she’s a crucial cast member, but why didn’t they decide to feature a few pet adventures sans Blythe? It’s like they’re dependant on her or something.

But thankfully, due to the webcam, Blythe can check in on the pets, but they can’t actually see her. Which blows my mind. You’d think she’d leave some way for them to text her, or email her, or call her. Leave an iPhone in a cubby hole.

Anyway, yeah, they’re miserable, but they try to put on a happy face for Blythe, for some baffling reason.

Meanwhile, back at fashion camp, a big musical number ensues, where Blythe sings about how great the campus is, and how much fun she’s having. Then others join in, and the song takes a bit of a turn, where we learn Blythe is the only one who has other things going on.

Yeah, that’s where that segue came from.

This is particularly evident later, when she’s chatting with her new friends. And a suggestion that they do something not fashion-related, results in reactions of shock and horror.

So basically, they’re pathetic.

And sometimes, fashion’s boring as hell, especially during a lecture on dyes by the teacher from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

I assume he takes attendance the same way: Baxter… Baxter… Baxter… Baxter… Baxter… Baxter… Baxter…

Anyway…

Back at the pet shop, Twombly’s expanding, and just bought a Pet Shop Shuttle Playset, which gives Russell an idea, which he delivers in a voice that’s much more nasally than I remember.

The plan is simple. It starts with a B&E into Blythe’s room, before he hacks into her computer. Actually, I’m gonna assume Blythe gave him the login and password. But it means they could just Skype together if that’s the case. Why doesn’t she Skype with the pets?

Anyway, here’s Russell’s plan: Use the LPS website to request a pet pickup from Blythe’s school, including a request to bring the seven along.

Of course, Pepper and Sunil use the opportunity to stroke their own egos, while Russell reestablishes his role as straight-hedgehog.

Meanwhile, at fashion camp, Blythe designs a backpack in a callback to “Trading Places” from last season.

Then she calls the shop, looking for the pets, who’ve been avoiding the webcam. Madison picks up, and I must say, I hope she sticks around for future episodes. I love her so much!

Anyway, Madison receives Russell’s email, and promptly hangs up on her predecessor.

Handing it over to Twombly, the boss assumes everything’s on the up and up, and decides to take all the pets on a trip to Fashion University North.

Meanwhile, as Blythe looks at photos of her friends and father, and oddly, no photo of the pets, she discovers there’s a bus heading into Downtown City for a day trip, which she decides to take advantage of.

MUHAHA!!! As you can tell, hilarity ensues.

As they head off, Twombly starts singing, much to the pets’ chagrin.

And at the other end of the highway, on the way into town, Blythe starts dreaming another musical number. It’s the same musical number from the beginning, but with a discordant quality to it, expressing her slowly building disdain for fashion.

In the middle of their respective journeys, both happen to stop at the exact same highway rest station, at the same time. But neither notices the presence of the other.

Oh, I relish your pain.

So they arrive at their respective destinations, both learning that the very people/pets they came to see had already left to see them, or in Twombly’s case, never existed in the first place.

Roger arrives at Fashion University North, since he flew down to surprise Blythe as well, and upon learning this, he decides to join Twombly on the trip back.

Meanwhile, Blythe refuses to give up, so Youngmee and Aunt Christie take the Sweet Delights Truck to Fashion University North.

Oh, this is great!

On the trip with the pets, Roger offers to tell a story about Blythe, this time, making Twombly miserable through boredom.

Should’ve picked a phenomenally embarrassing story, Rahge.

So, anyway, once again, both groups stop at the same rest stop again… and miss each other again! Or at least, that’s what I would have liked to see happen. But since there’s only two minutes left in the schedule, they spot each other, and have a happy ending. They should have tried to make that gag pay off at least one more time. It would’ve been awesome. It’s the rule of threes, goddamnit!

So, after throwing the Frisbee around for a bit, Roger offers to drop Blythe off at FUN, but she confesses that she hates fashion now, and wants to come home.

Okay, she doesn’t hate fashion, but she’s actually kinda sick of it. She has other hobbies, unlike everyone else at the school.

Roger agrees, and they head back, ending the episode.

But enough of that, we have a second, unrelated episode to cover. You’d think in a two-part premiere, they’d have the episode connected in some way.

We open with Blythe creating origami figures of each of the pets, for some baffling reason. Not only have we never seen her do origami before, but it’s a complete non-sequitur with the rest of the episode.

Zoe suggests they wear them as hats for some reason, and Vinnie asks where his figure went, before Russell pulls it out of his ass. Okay, he sat on it, but the visuals don’t exactly fit.

Then Blythe takes off to see an outdoor fashion show hosted by the local morning show.

Zoe suggests bringing a friend along, so Blythe asks Penny if she wants to come with. I’m kidding of course, but that would’ve been a good gag. No, she brings Zoe.

At the show, we meet Jenny Hues, the host of the morning show, and she proceeds to insult her audience, quite rudely. I don’t actually see a real morning show host doing that. They wouldn’t have a job for very long if they did.

Anyway, just as the host’s about to approach Blythe, the Biskits show up, and push her out-of-the-way, straight into a tree, where a nest falls straight on her head. They also destroy her phone, accidentally.

Then, Jenny says the Biskits have shit fashion sense, and Blythe has an amazing hat.

Actually, it’s the nest. At first Blythe seems confused, and a bit exasperated. But then a fashion star gives her nest hat a thumbs-up, and she seems quite excited, rather than the appropriate reaction, which would be continued exasperation.

Regardless, the nest hat phenomena takes off. Even Twombly gets in on the action.

Then, while talking to the pets, they all discover something shocking: The nest was being used!

Yep, there was an egg in the nest. You’d figure she would’ve noticed the extra weight on her head.

Blythe leaves the egg with the pets, and takes off on a search for the egg’s momma. But the Biskits intercept, and explain that their father insisted they replace Blythe’s broken phone, and that they have to work hard for the money.

Did I ever mention how much I love the Biskits?

Then, Blythe learns that several media outlets have been contacting the shop looking for her, since she set off a new fashion craze. So the Biskits demand to take over Blythe’s PR.

They drag Blythe all over town. First stop, she puts a nest top-hat on Rich Uncle Pennybags, before performing at a fashion show, and finally talking with Martha Stewart-parody. All the while, nest hats have taken the nation by storm. Appearing in posters, political ads, and films.

By the way, I’m pretty sure this all happens in one day. Da fuq?

Meanwhile, the pets decide to take care of the egg by keeping it warm. Everyone failing because they either can’t stay still, are too nervous, or are a lizard.

Finally, Russell takes over, and tries hugging the egg. Then the elaborate, oversized nest they built for it collapses when Zoe takes an item from the bottom.

Did she not notice what they were doing?

Anyway, the structure collapses, but the egg survives. Then, as Russell sets it down, it starts to crack, and a little bird hatches out of it, calling the hedgehog, ‘momma.’

I’m sure Russell will make a great mother.

Back with Blythe and the Biskits, they’re waiting in the greenroom of another talk show, and Blythe starts to protest, so the twins hold her against her will.

Then, as Blythe tries to talk her way out, Brittany has an isolated moment of self-awareness: “Because it’s our job! That’s how we make our money! It’s called ‘working for a living’! Look it up!”

Then Whittany corrects her by saying they really want to get something out of it. Then a producer stops in, and asks if she can get them anything, and the Biskits go nuts. Requesting everything they could think of, including a new phone for Blythe.

You wouldn’t think that would work.

Meanwhile, Russell tries his paw at being a mommy. He teaches the bird, whom he named Hubble, how to fly. Which only ends in tears.

But Vinnie suggests that the bird is hungry. Which he is. So it’s lunch time.

They go to eat, but Sunil, the rude bastard that he is, smacks the food from his wings. Turns out the mongoose has been reading up on the subject, but when Russell reads the book, he reacts with disgust, just as Sunil predicted.

Then, Penny and Minka suggest bird seed, which I don’t think is appropriate for newborns, since they haven’t learned to chew yet.

It appears Hubble agrees. Alright, starve to death, kid.

Back at the studio, the Biskets have bags and bags of swag, and have tied Blythe to a chair.

“If you didn’t want to be tied up and held against your will, you should never have become a celebrity”

Well, this has suddenly gotten dark.

She breaks the chair, and makes a run for it.

Exiting the building, she sees the true horrors of the nest hat!

Birds everywhere start attacking the things!

Our hero acts fast, grabbing her new phone, and posting a video of the attack online, ending the craze in minutes.

Now free of the fame and the Biskits, Blythe goes back to the tree she got the nest from, and returns both the nest, and Hubble, to their rightful mother. Just as Russell says his goodbyes to the little guy.

And that's the end.

So how was it?

Well, the first episode, like the one before it, was a bit of a damp squib, and did little to add to the overall narrative. All this episode did was cancel out the previous episode.

But the Nest Hat Craze was funny, ridiculous and heartwarming, thanks to the scenes with Hubble.

So we had a bit of a hiccup, but it seems it's smooth sailing from here on out.

Now to end this little post, I'd like to tell you a story about my hardships in actually watching the episode.

Typically, watching a show like this live is ideal. And last season, we had several people hosting online streams of this show, and My Little Pony. However that didn't happen for the premiere this time. Everyone assumed HaxMega would be streaming the show, like he did last season, but that didn't happen.

No streams were available. Instead, we were left dry.

Now, of course, watching the show that way wasn't exactly legit in the first place. And now that I have cable, it should be no problem watching it the proper way, through the proper sources.

However, I'm Canadian. And the Canadian broadcaster for Littlest Pet Shop is YTV. And for some reason, they didn't broadcast the premiere, because they're fucking idiots, I'm guessing.

Perhaps they couldn't find room in the schedule, I hear you say. Well, they found room to air reruns of two LPS episodes from last season the following morning. So, I don't think that's the case.

I can't understand this. If you have the rights to a show, why would you not broadcast it?

So, piracy it is.

But yeah, I was unable to watch the actual show at the actual airtime.

However, eventually, the episodes were posted on YouTube, so I got to watch it there.

This is also why it took a full week for the review to get posted. That, and schoolwork.

But what about the next episode? Well, the next episode, which'll air in a few hours, is all about ghosts, apparently. Hope Russell ends up being the voice of reason, like last time. Oh, no, he’s the one scared of ghosts. I find that odd.

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