Adventures in Ponysitting

Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve run out of ways to open a My Little Pony episode review. It was bound to happen, I mean there’s only so many combinations of words in the English language that are pony-related.

This week, Pinkie Pie babysits two newborn foals. Not realizing that it’s more than fun and games, you actually have to change a few diapers.

The episode opens at Ponyville General Hospital…or at least I think that’s what it’s called. Mrs. Cake has just given birth to two little foals, a pegasus-colt and a unicorn-filly. Which is weird, because the Cakes are both earth ponies. Of course Mr. Cake explains this by saying that they have some distant relatives that are pegasi and unicorns, and follows this up by saying: “That makes sense right?” Who are you asking, and more importantly, who are you trying to convince!? The implications are kinda horrifying. I get it. But if your relatives are that distant, something like this is extremely unlikely. Especially considering he said “twice removed” which, last I checked, means the relation is through marriage, not blood. So, no, it doesn’t make sense. It would have made more sense if he said something like: “Yeah, turns out my wife cheated on me, go figure!”

A month later, Pinkie Pie is getting along well with the twins. However she’s a little oblivious to their needs, outside of playtime. So because of this, when the Cakes have to head out on an emergency delivery, they ask her to babysit, after asking ever other pony in the main cast. She was literally their last resort.

Everypony else made their excuses, except Rarity, who simply said she didn’t want to. You know every episode, she gets easier to hate. At least she was honest.

So, after the Cakes leave, Pinkie’s goal is simple. Cheer the foals up so they stop crying! She first tries playing Peek-a-boo with them, but it only makes them more upset. She then tries cheesy stand-up comedy and a big musical number where she dresses as a pig. Of course, once again, this only makes them more upset. Hell, I started crying at that point!

They only cheer up when Pinkie Pie accidentally lets a bag of flour fall on her head. This then becomes her trump card throughout the rest of the episode. Whenever they cry too much, she dumps flour on her head, and they laugh.

Then it’s feeding time, followed by bath time, and the foals are less than cooperative. Pinkie tries to cheer them up with bath toys, but goes overboard and buries them in all sorts of boats and beach balls, which upsets them even more.

Biggest revelation: a baby pegasus is strong as hell! Strong enough to break a water pipe with swing of his hoof. No wonder she’s having such a hard time.

Next, it’s time to change their diapers, and it’s no easier. I’d like to point out how unsanitary it is to carry a dirty diaper with your mouth, but if you have no hands, and only hooves, I guess it’s par for the course. Ponies must have really amazing immune systems.

Suddenly, Twilight arrives, to offer Pinkie some help, and her way of doing it is very condescending. So Pinkie decides to kick the bitch out. I don’t blame her, I would have done the same thing. Then again, I probably wound have said the same things Twilight did.

Pinkie gets back to work. It’s nap time. But as she leaves the room, she sees they have escaped from their crib. So the search begins! She finds the unicorn in a closet, and the pegasus on the ceiling, parodying the exorcist. Then the one in the crib uses her magic to get a toy. Turns out they can use their unicorn and pegasus powers, even though they are each only a month old. Another revelation: Unicorns can use phase-shifting magic. I did not expect this, and it kicks an idea I had for a fanfic right in the head. Anyway, this causes Pinkie more problem than she expected. So she bursts into tears.

I know last week I gave them a hard time for doing a call back gag to an earlier episode. But this week, as Pinkie literally cries a river, like she did in the season one premiere, it works. So I’m not complaining.

Then, the twins, in an effort to cheer her up, dump a bag of flour on their heads, and decide to cooperate. Finally, it’s over.

Pinkie then starts cleaning the house. The Cakes come home, impressed that she handled things so well. Yeah, sure. Then the episode ends.

There really wasn’t much to talk about. Very little happened, and what did happen wasn’t interesting. The only other thing I can think to mention is a comment by Pinkie: “We do not put anything in our mouth that we cannot safely and properly digest.” Yes you do! You’re an earth pony! It’s what you use in lieu of hands! This is not news!

Yeah, this was boring. I hope next week’s episode is better. Apparently it’s a missing ponies case as the girls begin a search for their best friend, Applejack. If they don’t bring in some detective-inspector parody from Law and Order or something. I’ll be sorely disappointed. This might be pretty good.

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