Some may be confused by this entry on this particular blog. Allow me to explain. While I haven’t been the type to write FanFiction in recent years. I guess you could say My Little Pony changed that. I don’t know how crazy I’m going to get with this, but it’ll certainly be fun to find out. I recently discovered this is more fun than the normal crap I release, so expect the next chapter very soon. In the interim, enjoy the first episode of My Little Pony meets Doctor Who. No, that wasn’t my idea. Yes, I’ll pretend it is.
Note: After putting this up I realized something. This is looking at a rewrite. I wanted to make The Doctor’s so-far-nameless companion a capable assistant…instead I made him a cocky prat with superhuman intelligence. But until I actually do the rewrite (which shouldn’t take long since all I’ll be changing is the beginning and end), enjoy this piece of shit so you can laugh at how much of a ponce I am. I hate myself.
In deep space, on the outer edge of Mutter’s Spiral, a blue box drifted in the empty void. It’s small size betraying its true capacity, and capability. Within was a vessel of immense power, capable of travel across all of space and time, known only as the TARDIS.
Within were two men, one wore a bow tie and appeared a few years older than his red-shirted companion, but was in reality several centuries older. A man of great knowledge, great power, and great compassion. The Last of the Time Lords, the Oncoming Storm, or as he’s most commonly known…The Doctor.
“What did you do!?” He yelled from under the hexagonal control console.
Sliding out on his creeper The Doctor looked up at his young companion. “It’s fine!” he replied. “It’s just taking a lot longer than anticipated.”
“I knew this was a bad idea.” The Doctor stood up and began looking at the TARDIS’ diagnostic display. “There was nothing wrong with the sensors, no need to mess with them.”
“Oh, yeah, that red supergiant was nothing.”
“Yeah, barely, and if the TARDIS picked it up any later we wouldn’t have.”
“Oh, please, it was fine.”
“It was hot! Besides, these new algorithms should not only increase sensor range, but compensate for various types of noise, which should increase the resolution. No more going into situations completely blind.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” The Doctor responded, examining the rest of the TARDIS console. “Besides, that’s assuming they didn’t completely destroy the sensor array.”
“Relax, you said it yourself, the TARDIS is alive, it’s just getting used to the new parameters.”
“You’d better be right because-” The Doctor was interrupted by a beeping from the console. He grabbed the display, looked at it, looked at his companion, looked back, then back again. His companion leaned against the console and responded with a smile. “Well, it’s working again,” said The Doctor, with a smile.
“Of course,” his friend responded. “So, where to now?”
“Well, I would love to test out the sensors before we do anything too crazy.”
“Since when are you the cautious one?”
“Red Supergiant,” The Doctor responded succinctly.
His friend smiled and began walking away. “I’m going to grab a bite to eat,” He said, grabbing a grey coat that was draped on a railing.
“There’s some extra cake in stasis.”
“Oh, no, not the one you got from Zeta Riticulus VII?”
“Okay, I’ll admit it’s an acquired taste.”
“No, no, Tabasco sauce is an acquired taste, anchovies are an acquired taste, Branston Pickle is an acquired taste, that cake was demonic!”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“It nearly melted your floor.”
The Doctor looked down at the white patch of scored glass where he accidentally dropped a piece. “Point taken.”
His partner laughed, shook his head and walked away, looking for some grub.
In a land, much further away, as the sun was setting in a small and quiet town, a large tree stood at the edge, and within a small purple unicorn was shelving many books.
Her horn glowed a soft purple as one of the books scattering the floor levitated in an identical glow and she walked with it, across the room to one of the many shelves.
As she was shelving the book, her front door opened with a bang, and a high-pitched scream came from the entrance. “Twilight!!”
The unicorn was startled, causing the floating book to jerk, knocking several books off the shelves and onto her floor and head. She turned her head and saw a pink pony with a curly mane standing in the door frame with a mile long smile across her face.
“Uh,” said Twilight, a look of annoyance on her face. “Can I help you Pinkie?”
She paused for a minute, “Oh! I was wondering if you still had that book about the Elements of Harmony.”
“Elements of Harmony?” responded Twilight, “sure!” She began walking across the room, “I was just going over it, what for?”
“Oh…” Pinkie scratched her chin, “um…just curious about side effects.”
“Oh no, what’s wrong?”
“Oh, nothing. It’s just…” then suddenly, she became lost in thought. Twilight couldn’t exactly place the expression on the normally excitable pony’s face, but she knew it was abnormal, because it wasn’t an ear to ear grin. She seemed sad, but happy at the same time. As if one part of her mind was disagreeing with the other. “I’m probably just being paranoid. I just want to be certain of something.”
Twilight’s curiosity was sparked, “Certain of what?”
“Oh, it’s not important,” said Pinkie, with a palpable evasiveness. “Can I have the book?”
“Sure,” said Twilight. She kicked the book across the floor and Pinkie placed her hoof on it.
“Thanks!” She grabbed the book with her teeth and began walking out.
“Oh!” said Twilight. “If you want, you can stick around, I’m probably not going to bed for a while, I still have to clean up all these books.”
Pinkie dropped the book. “Doesn’t Spike normally do that?”
“Oh, he’s exhausted, he’s been working all day. Besides, I tend to feel guilty when he does that. This is my mess, I should clean it up.”
“Ooo! Let me help you!” Replied the chipper pony as she jumped to Twilight’s side.
“No, no, I’m fine, I should be done soon. You came to look stuff up on side-effects, you should do that.”
“Okie Dokie!” Responded Pinkie as she jumped back to the book, lying down to begin reading.
Twilight went back to her cleaning, levitating the books she knocked off, and replacing them on the shelf.
Meanwhile, on the outer edge of that small town, a cloud with rainbowfalls and three separate levels floated high above the ground. It was normally home to three young pegasi. One of them had a sky blue coat and a technicolor mane. Her name was Rainbow Dash, and she was exhausted.
After arriving from a long day of cloud management and flight practice, all she wanted to do was sleep. She wasn’t used to this much work in a day, but this was the time of year many ponies took their holidays, and because Rainbow managed all weather-control operations in this town, she didn’t want them to fall behind on any request, because she would get blamed for it. So she had to pick up much of the slack.
Thankfully, she would be alone for a while, as Firework was visiting family in Pundon, and Dewdrop was organizing a major rainfall at Sweet Apple Acres, the nearby Apple orchard, that would likely take most of the night. So she had plenty of alone time, and she was going to take full advantage of it.
While normally she slept inside her cloud-home, encased by six walls that did an excellent job of blocking out the noise, Rainbow never enjoyed that. She loved to sleep outside, breathing the fresh night air. So that’s exactly what she did, she found a cloud that had a good breeze coming across it on Firework’s level. There was a rainbow connecting it to the house, so there was no chance of it drifting away. She sat down on her selected sleeping area, stretched her legs, let off a good yawn, fluffed up the cloud into a makeshift pillow, and placed her head on it.
Rainbow didn’t shut her eyes though, for she wanted to see the sunset, and as the sun was about to drop below the horizon, she sighed, “another day…another night…like clockwork.”
Opposite the cloud house, on the other side of town, far away, a large forest grew, dominated by all forms of life, yet avoided by most of the land’s pony population. It was called Everfree, and near the border of this untamed jungle rested a humble cottage, and within, a yellow pegasus was lying on a sofa, with an open book.
She released a sigh, then lifted her right wing, and bit a bookmark she was hiding under it. She dropped it into the open book, and flipped it close with her nose. Revealing the cover and title, Eat, Neigh, Love.
She left her position on the couch and went straight to her kitchen, pulled a small glass out of her bottom cupboard, and from her freezer, a glass bottle containing an amber liquid. The cap was designed for easy pouring using one’s teeth without removing the cap. When upright, a valve sealed the bottle, preventing gasses from escaping, but when tipped, the valve opened, allowing the sweet nectar within to be released.
She poured a small amount in the glass, and returned the bottle. She then pulled a similar bottle of darker liquid out of her fridge, and filled the glass, before returning the bottle. Outside her kitchen window, she could see the last sliver of sun dip below the horizon. Scooping the glass in her right hoof, she took a sip. Turned around, and saw a small white bunny, with crossed arms and a disapproving look, glaring at her.
“What?” she said in a soft voice, a look of annoyance on her face. “Oh Angel Bunny,” she returned to the sofa sporting a look of sadness. “I’m sorry, it’s just…I feel like I’m missing something. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love what I do. Taking care of you and the other animals, but I feel like I could be doing so much more.”
She took another sip from her glass as the small rabbit jumped onto the sofa next to her, to lend a comforting paw. “It’s as if…I don’t know. I guess I thought I’d have more to show for life than I do. Instead I’m in this little cottage, on the edge of the Everfree forest, the same as I’ve been for the past five years. I never even got that extension finished…I didn’t even get it started! All I have is a blueprint.” She released a small chuckle, “I’ve probably been spending too much time with Rainbow Dash.”
She downed the rest of the glass and set it on the sofa, next to her book. “No, you know what I blame!? This book! She’s accomplished so much. But of course, she’s fictional! She could cross the world, cure all known diseases and fall in love all before breakfast! It’s making me set unrealistic goals for myself.”
She grabbed the book in her teeth, and walked out her front door, opening it with her hoof. She then twisted her head to the left, and threw the book as far as she could. It landed five metres away. “…and stay out,” she said quietly. She wanted to feel accomplished, but instead, she still felt sad.
Back in the TARDIS, The Doctor was reading the diagnostics display as his companion walked into the control room, wearing his grey coat, sandwich in hand.
“So, everything good?” he asked The Doctor.
“Well, you were right.”
“Sensors have been optimized, working better than ever now,” The Doctor continued. “Good work.”
“Don’t thank me,” his friend said. “The hard work was already done. All I did was get them to work with the TARDIS. Those people on Zeta Riticulus VII may make terrible cake, but they’re pretty damn smart.”
“They were mostly human actually.”
“You’re kidding! Wow, we go far.”
“Well, you get smarter as you get older,” The Doctor mused. “So, where to now?”
“Funny, I was going to ask you that,” he walked over to the console. “Let’s see, where have we been so far?” He hit a few buttons and suddenly an image of the galaxy appeared in the air behind them.
The Doctor noticed it first. “How’d you do that?”
“Holographic projectors,” his friend responded. The Doctor looked at him inquisitively, and looked back at the image. “You didn’t know?”
“Of course I did, I’m just wondering how you did.”
“It’s in the database,” The Doctor looked it him. “I’ve been reading this thing for the past week. Temporal navigation is a very interesting subject.”
The Doctor merely looked at him.
“Anyway, let’s take a look-see,” He pressed a few more buttons and a dozen labels appeared on the galaxy model. “All of time and space and we don’t leave the galaxy.”
“There’s a lot to see here.”
“That’s not the point.”
“What is the point?”
“You have a bias.”
“You have a pro-Milky-Way bias.”
“Milky Way, your people have the stupidest names for things.”
“…and TARDIS is so elegant-well what do you call it?”
The Doctor shrugged.
“Well, in that case…your Mutter,” he went back to the console. “What about your homeworld, it’s in this galaxy right?”
“No! We can’t.”
“Well, yeah, I know, it burned, you told me. But we could just, oh, I don’t know, go back before the Time War.”
“No, one of the essential Laws of Time, one cannot go into Gallifrey’s past.”
“Oh like they’ll know-they’ll know,” he said, realizing who he was talking about.
“That law must remain intact if causality is to have any meaning. Besides, a pre-Time War Gallifrey, is not where I would want to be.”
“Because then they’ll find out what I’ve done.” The Doctor’s companion noticed his friend looked sad, with a heaping scoop of guilt. He dropped it.
“Okay,” he continued, in a chipper tone. “Then let’s get the hell out of here! Leave this galaxy! Go somewhere else!!”
He paused for a second…”The Pegasus Dwarf Irregular Galaxy! There’s gotta be something interesting there.”
The Doctor was back to his excited self. He smiled, and began running around the console flicking switches and pressing buttons as his friend got out of the way.
“It’ll probably take an hour,” The Doctor said.
“OH!” his friend responded with a sarcastic tone. “An hour to cross three million light years. That is quite excessive. I love you TARDIS and I take back every bad thing I’ve ever said.” He then laid a kiss on the time rotor in the centre of the console and sat down on a bench.
The Doctor looked up from his work. “What bad things?” The Doctor asked. His companion shrugged.
Suddenly the TARDIS jerked violently.
“Okay, scratch that,” the young one stated. The TARDIS started shaking more and more violently. “What’s going on!?” he asked.
The Doctor looked at the display. “We’ve fallen out of time, but don’t worry, this has happened before, only this time I’m ready.” The Doctor said with a smile as his companion and he held onto the console as if their lives depended on it.
Then suddenly, a white glow bathed the TARDIS control room.
His companion reacted, “has that happened bef-” he was interrupted by himself as he coughed a mouthful of blood. Panic set in both the man and Time Lord. “What’s going-” he collapsed on the floor.
The Doctor read the readout. “Oh no,” he said, and began throwing switches in a panic, before he doubled over, a look of fear in The Doctor’s eyes before he suddenly burst in a million pieces along with his companion. Leaving behind nothing but their clothes.
The TARDIS stood vacant.