I am a fan of the Stargate franchise. I’ve seen every episode, own two copies of the movie, one of which is the Deluxe Edition, and I’ve written a fanfic crossover with Harry Potter. However that was years ago, on a laptop that got stolen. Anyway…

SG-1 is over, Atlantis is over, and at this rate it doesn’t look like there are going to be any more movies from either series in the near future, in spite of what the producers promised. So all we have is Stargate Universe, and as series go, it’s not a bad one.

For the uninitiated, Stargate Universe begins when the personnel of Icarus Base, light-years away from Earth, attempt to use the Stargate to dial a nine symbol address they found in an Ancient database. Most every other Stargate address consists of a mere seven symbols, unless they want to dial another galaxy, in which case the address would consist of eight symbols. The nine symbol address was an unknown until now.

Fans always suspected nine symbol address existed because the Stargates have nine chevrons. Each chevron is intended to lock in a symbol when dialling an address. So anyway, the team on Icarus Base ends up getting attacked from orbit, and during the attack manages to dial the nine symbol address which sends them to the Destiny, an Ancient ship billions of light-years away with no way of getting back to Earth.

Some have described it as Battlestar Galactica or Star Trek Voyager meets Stargate. I like that. Some may see it as a rip off, but that’s only because it is, and what’s wrong with that? Both Voyager and Galactica are great series, and the Stargate franchise didn’t get to last 12 years by mere coincidence.

So far, I’m loving Stargate Universe, the characters are interesting, and the situation is desperate enough to keep me interested. However, that doesn’t mean the series is perfect.

For starters, the Communication Stones, which allow two people to swap bodies even if they are separated by galaxies. It’s an old idea from the previous Stargate series, the only difference is, the device isn’t used as a problem where they spend the entire episode trying to reverse it. In this case, it’s used as a tool, it allows those on Destiny to communicate with their loved ones on Earth. Good idea. However, there is one major problem: how casually it’s used.

You hear that? It’s sort of presumed that the volunteers from Earth are allowing their bodies to be used by the Destiny crew to have sex. I thought only Colonel Young did that, and from Telford’s reaction I would have thought it was a faux pas. So, am I the only one who has a problem with this? Obviously not, since Eli voiced objection. It’s not about privacy, but just the circumstances of the situation. Here’s the problem: you are not actually having sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, you are having sex with someone else while your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife are in their body, or it’s not actually you doing it.

I know if I was me in that situation, I’d be at the very least hesitant. Spending time with my girlfriend, whether it’s her or me in someone else’s body, is fine, but sex is a different story. Either I’d be putting an unknown penis inside her or I’d be putting my penis inside an unknown vagina. Either way, that’s too much of an unknown.

Now of course I know what people will say: “In the heat of the moment blah blah blah,” or “It’s more emotional than physical blah blah blah,” or whatever, and they may be right. If only there was a real world example I could compare it to…oh, wait…there is.

Back around four years ago, a Chinese man was in a horrible accident, and a few months later, received the world’s first penis transplant. What a great idea. The surgery was successful, with no sign of rejection. It was a breakthrough in medical science. However, two weeks later, it was reversed because of psychological problems. I assume it had something to do with the fact that it wasn’t his penis. In a way someone else was having sex with his wife. There are people who have problems accepting a transplanted hand, this isn’t that much different, only more extreme. Now, assume it’s a full body transplant. Even if your significant other fully understood what was going on, do you think they would be fully accepting of the situation? Enough to want to have sex with you? Not at all weirded out by everything? Would you be fully accepting? I doubt it. I would think most would have a problem with it. A minority might be fine with it, but certainly not a majority.

Next, I want to talk about Chloe. The most useless character on the ship, and I say that with much love. She isn’t a scientist so she’s not doing any research or experiments or repairs or anything like that. She’s not military so she isn’t calling military strategy or fighting aliens or Lucian Alliance. So her exact role as a crew member is unknown. She seems to act purely as a foil for the other characters. But here’s my problem, that role feels forced, probably because it’s her only role.

I am of course referring to the mutiny, which failed. But it did reveal certain aspects of the character’s personalities. For instance, Chloe’s a manipulative bitch and Eli is just a bitch. During the mutiny Chloe starts asking Eli questions while Rush transfers some of Destiny’s control systems to another part of the ship. So anyway, things start happening, Eli ends up siding with Young, while Chloe sided with Rush, and helped orchestrate the mutiny. So the obvious is obvious. Chloe helped the mutiny by distracting Eli. Eli confronts her on this and she denies it. Though even if she is telling the truth, why doesn’t Eli feel irreparably betrayed?

Even if she didn’t know the mutiny was happening right then, why did she never tell Eli about the mutiny? He’s not military, he’s a civilian, why didn’t they try to get him to join? I would certainly have felt hurt. However, three episodes later they act like nothing ever happened. I understand they were supposed to be best friends, but why didn’t her betrayal damage that? At least a little bit. It blows my mind.

The only explanation I can think of is: Eli’s a pussy.

Of course if that did happen, we wouldn’t have gotten my favourite moment from season one. During the invasion of the Destiny by the Lucian Alliance, Chloe and Eli end up on the other end of the ship and have to start walking across. Chloe needing to be carried much of the way because she was shot in the leg, then this little bit of dialogue pops up.

I’m not sure why I like this scene so much, it’s probably because I can relate, but I don’t think so.

Anyway, this scene also kind of explains why Eli and Chloe are still such good friends. “A friend is someone who will support you no matter what.” So that shows, while Eli is a good friend, Chloe isn’t, because a friend is also someone you trust.

Oh yes, and Eli has the hots for Chloe, shock and horror. Actually that might be why I like the scene so much, it sort of clears the air and ends any and all tension between the two of them.

I know some might wonder why I’m not beating on Scott for forgetting about Chloe’s betrayal even faster than Eli, but I don’t blame him for that because it’s likely his judgment is clouded by sex.

Moving on, time to get more nitpicky. Those who don’t know anything about Stargate canon might want to skip the next three paragraphs, because it gets really nerdy.

Now, this has to do with what a nine symbol address, like the one initially used to dial Destiny, actually means. It was initially assumed they are used to dial a specific gate, which makes sense. However, my beef comes from the fact that there is a nine symbol address to dial Earth from the Destiny. Now, one may assume that makes sense, however, its likely the gate Earth’s nine symbol address refers to is the Beta Gate. Earth’s original gate that was placed here by the Ancients and was found in Antarctica in late season one of SG-1. However, that particular gate was destroyed early season six, so that address wouldn’t work anymore. Why hasn’t anyone on the show brought that up whenever they try to dial Earth. They’ve tried to dial Earth twice and no one’s mentioned this little conundrum. Are they thick!?

The only way around this that I see, is the fans are wrong, the nine symbol address doesn’t dial a specific gate, but activates a subroutine stored in the gate’s firmware. In the case of the Destiny address, it calls the Destiny through subspace, telling it to drop out of FTL, then requests its position and sends a wormhole. As for the Earth code, its likely the Destiny has kept track of where Earth is during it’s 60-million-year journey and the code simply sends a wormhole to that specific location. Makes much more sense, however more complicated.

However, on that note, on the first episode it’s mentioned the nine symbol address is different from every other, because instead of its final symbol being unique to that planet, the point-of-origin, it’s always the point-of-origin for Earth. So they use the point-of-origin from the Alpha Gate, when it should be the one on the Beta Gate, since that is likely the one the Ancients would have intended. I guess we’ll call it a retcon. Then again, soft and inconsistent science is an old problem in the franchise, going back to the fact that every human society in two galaxies natively speaks American English.

Alright, now what I really wanted to talk about today: I have a theory, and I want to announce it now before it’s proven right so I can declare: Called It! Though before you nerds get your panties in a bunch, remember, it’s just a theory, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do think it’s likely. However, this does involve some minor spoilers, so consider this your warning.

The next two episodes of Stargate Universe are going to be interesting. We already know the next episode will feature the crew discovering Rush’s deep dark secret. He’s been in full control of the Destiny for weeks and didn’t tell anyone. The prick. But there’s something else that’s bugging me, and that is the following episode, Malice.

According to the summary on the Stargate Wiki: “Simeon makes his escape from Destiny, sending Nicholas Rush on a vengeful mission. But Young and Greer attempt to retrieve Simeon unharmed.”

Wait, what vengeful mission? What would Rush have to be vengeful about? Well, on the preceding episode, The Greater Good, the summary on Stargate Wiki goes like this: “Nicholas Rush and Everett Young investigate an abandoned alien craft floating in space near Destiny. During their investigation, the engines suddenly fire, causing the ship to drift away from Destiny. Unwilling to reveal his discovery of the bridge, Rush enlists the aid of Amanda Perry to rescue himself and Young. However, the crew discovers Rush’s plan and exposes his secret.”

Amanda Perry is going to make another appearance on the show. Exciting. In her last appearance she was a hyperdrive engineer who was working with Rush to give Destiny’s FTL drives a tune-up, and she acted as a bit of a love-interest for Rush, and…oh…

Well that would be motivation enough for Rush to go on a “vengeful mission.” In case you’re wondering what I’m talking about, I think Simeon is going to kill Amanda. Now why would he do that? Well I think that might have something to do with this character: Ginn.

In the next episode she will be going to Earth to brief Homeworld Command on the Lucian Alliance on her homeworld. She’s also acting as a love-interest for Eli, and by love-interest I mean they are gettin’ it owh! Bow chicka bow bow!

Okay. So here’s my theory: In the next episode Ginn will be all ready to head over to Earth using the stones when Rush suggests they bring over Amanda to help with their little situation. So they decide to kill two birds with one stone and have Ginn switch with Amanda. While Ginn is helping Earth and Amanda is helping Rush, Simeon will hear of what Ginn is doing, declare that she has betrayed the Lucian Alliance and decide to kill her, and he’ll do it now rather than wait for her to enter her own body again. Of course he knows this will likely kill Amanda, but he doesn’t give a shit because it’s already been established that he’s an asshole.

So Amanda will die, but the real question is: What will happen to Ginn? Since no one has ever actually died while connected to the stones, this is new ground. People have almost died, but never fully died. One of two possibilities, either she will die too, or if Amanda’s death in Ginn’s body is quick, like right between the eyes, Ginn might end up permanently bonded to Amanda’s body. Who knows, it depends on what the writer’s want.

Another clue: According to GateWorld, Ginn will only be around for five episodes, and since she’s Eli’s girlfriend, you’d think she’d become a major character if she was still alive, or still on the Destiny.

Now, if she does die, it would be a perfect opportunity to show a darker side to Eli. As Rush is hunting Simeon down like a dog, Eli shows up near the end and kills Simeon in cold blood. Perhaps Matt will even help him, once Eli appeals to his baser instincts with something along the lines of: If it were Chloe, what would you do?

Now this breaks my heart, which is why I hope it’s not true. I mean this is Eli’s chance at happiness. It might be his only chance. After only dating for what I will assume is a week, she dies. Or is trapped on the other side of the universe in the body of a quadriplegic. Not only that, she’s really hot. I mean reeeeeally hot. There are not enough words to describe how hot she is. Only pictures.

God, she’s way hotter than Chloe. So, no matter what happens to her, Eli will lose out big time, because odds are he’ll never get a chance to fuck anyone that hot ever again, and that makes me really sad. I’m not saying he couldn’t get someone that hot, but he’s on the other side of the universe and out here he’s unlikely to ever find anyone that hot, and of the same species.

Now, as the series moves on, it seems they will be getting more control over the Destiny. Which may seem fine to some, but I think the producers are making the same mistake they made with season six of SG-1 and season two of Atlantis. In season six of SG-1 they introduced the Prometheus, which slowly shifted the story from planet-based to space-based. I liked SG-1 better when it was a small group against a larger threat, and it was treated like a show about interstellar guerrilla warfare. Unlike later seasons when it went back to the old military standby of trying to get the biggest guns.

Same thing with Atlantis, once they introduced the Daedalus and started having personnel transfers to and from Earth every other episode or whenever it was convenient. It was better when they were cut off from Earth and literally on their own. Not only that, but the introduction of starships eventually led to the introduction of Asgard transporter beams, which means when things got desperate the good guys would get beamed out at the last-minute, which some call a deus ex machina but I call lazy writing.

Now that the Destiny crew have full control of the ship a crucial element of the plot disappears: the time limit. In the past they always had to make it back to the Destiny before the time limit ran out, now there is no time limit, meaning they can take as long as they want to solve the various problems they encounter. That just doesn’t seem right. However they did lose both shuttles, so we can say it all balances out.