Parkour.dll

Posted by BlackWidower on

So TRON was a film about the experiences of a man converted into digital data. It was a surreal fever dream that was fantastic and beautiful.

TRON 2.0 expanded the universe as far as it could when a new character found himself digitized the same way. Similarly themed, it gave the player the opportunity to explore a much larger world than was seen in the original film.

Then, TRON: Legacy rebooted the franchise, transforming it into a Flash Gordon knock-off with all sign of digitality stripped away. But it had enough charm, and added enough new quirks to the mythology to make up for it.

This new mythology has a lot of potential, despite the potential it could have had, if they stuck with the mythology established in TRON 2.0.

Regardless, it’s a story, and a moderately interesting one at that. Kevin Flynn creates a world to experiment with… stuff… in an accelerated digital environment. He made a major discovery, digital lifeforms with free will called ISOs. Then it all turned on him when his own creation wiped out his greatest discovery, and held him captive for a thousand cycles/years.

Oh, by the way, spoilers.

It had a lot of potential and it raised a lot of questions. For instance, when Kevin realized Clu didn’t like the ISOs, why didn’t he decide to reprogram his system administrator to ignore the ‘perfection’ goal, so he’d stop acting like the motherfucking Borg!?

As far as I know, that question was never answered. In fact, very few questions were answered when the opportunity presented itself. When the story of Clu’s coup, and subsequent campaign of genocide against the ISOs was told, in the TRON: Legacy tie-in game, TRON: Evolution. And man, does it suck. Continue reading →

You Think About All The Friends That You Hate To Leave

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This past Friday, I made my final decision: In four months I’m leaving my hometown of Sudbury, Ontario and moving to Oshawa, Ontario to attend Durham College for their Computer Programmer Analyst Program. It’s a three-year program which is a huge commitment, especially for someone as old as me. But I’m excited, it’s a new era for me, as I finally get the chance to start life anew. After all, Journalism didn’t do anything for me. Maybe entering the tech industry will change things.

It’s also exciting because I have to admit, I don’t actually like this town. Nothing ever happens and the majority of the population is paste-eatingly stupid. So that’s two strikes against it. And really, I have nothing holding me here. No reason to stay. Some may mention my family, but as I’ve said before, I don’t actually like my family. So that doesn’t help.

Plus, the move is a chance to reset, and finally get rid of all the crap I’ve been accumulating after all these years.

It is an opportunity, and one I shall not miss.

And one other thing: I don’t think I’m ever coming back. I have no reason to, as I’ve already stated.

Oh, sure, I have friends, who I like, and will miss. But sadly, I’m not particularly close to any of them. We rarely spend any time together. So they don’t hold me back as much as one might think.

It’s actually kinda sad when you think about it. I first met these guys back in October. And ten months later, I may never see them again, unless we plan to meet up at the next Anime Convention. Let’s hope that happens.

But yeah, I’m leaving everything behind. And that’s why the first season finale of Littlest Pet Shop is one of the few episodes I could empathise with. Continue reading →

Closed Logic

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What I love the most about TRON and TRON 2.0, is the feel of it: Surreal and fantastic.

It’s a world where anything is possible, where information is free, and where one’s very nature can be altered on a whim.

It’s not grounded in the logic we know. It’s a purely fictional world. Every element is distinct from reality.

Even something as simple as a city street can be bizarrely surreal.

There’s also the bright colour scheme, with flat colours maintaining the world’s artificial feel.

It’s a fantastic look, and a fantastic world. So how can someone fuck that up?

Well, by changing the look to reflect reality, and reducing the colour scheme to black, black, more black, off-black and the occasional neon light.

This is TRON: Legacy, where the TRON franchise went to die. Continue reading →

Littlest Kleptomaniacs

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Littlest Pet Shop is a strange show.

Our heroes are pets who live in a pet store, plus one human with Doctor Doolittle powers. Backing them up is an eccentric cast of mental patients, and an occasional random animal whom we never see again.

I still don’t get why Sugar Sprinkles went walkabout after her appearance, but Butterscotch kept coming back even though I want her to die.

I also don’t know why so many other animals visit once and are never heard from again. Like Gail, Zoe’s sister, who would have had every reason to make return appearances. In fact, I don’t know why Zoe visits the shop, but her sister doesn’t. Let me guess: Gail has a day job. She works retail.

But this week, we introduce another animal guest star. And this time, there a reason we’ll never see him again. Everyone hates him. Continue reading →

Back to Digital

Posted by BlackWidower on

TRON was a revolutionary film for its time. One of the first films to use CGI, and it was actually the theme of the film. Which was pretty daring back in 1982.

A science fiction film through and through it managed to scare off some people. Something I don’t fully understand.

TRON was a box office bomb which I find wholly disappointing, and so did many others.

The late Roger Ebert raved about the original, giving it a rare perfect score, despite, and possibly because of, its lack of human characters. He also thought of it as a highly underrated film, featuring it on his show, Siskel and Ebert and the Movies, a decade later; And closing his first ever Overlooked Film Festival with a screening of it in 1999.

And if Roger Ebert loved TRON, who the fuck are you to argue!?

But over the next several years it went on to earn back double its initial budget. Eventually justifying the release of a sequel. Several sequels as a matter of fact. And how do they stack up?

Sigh… Where to begin?

Why not start with the first attempt? In 2003, twenty-one years after the release of the first film, the first sequel to TRON saw the light of day. And it was appropriately titled: TRON 2.0.

It was a fantastic follow-up to the first film, primarily because it wasn’t a film, but a game. Continue reading →

Egos, Lies and Dismemberment

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Friendship is not easy. Sometimes personalities clash, and tempers flare. Differing political opinions, religious views, and even something as mundane as one’s mood can cause a friendship to break apart.

Sometimes, this can also happen between people who are too alike. People whose egos are the size of planets, because generally, you can only have one alpha per group.

I’ve seen this happen a lot. And before you start making unfounded accusations; Yes, I was generally one of the egos. It’s something I’m working on.

But the collapse of a friendship can happen before you even realize it. Suddenly you say one wrong thing, they react, then you react, then suddenly you hate each other, and you think: “How did that happen, oh wait.”

It doesn’t ever feel good to lose a friend. Never. It feels even worse when you know for a fact that you’re in the wrong. So you stop, and do what you might be afraid to do: Apologize.

Some see it as a sign of weakness, especially American politicians. I don’t see how, but that’s how they see it.

I don’t agree. I just see it as something you do when you’re in the wrong. It can clear the air, and make everything better. It may not accomplish anything, and you might not get anything out of it, but that’s how the world works. You don’t get an award for doing the right thing.

But why do so many people take so long to admit they’re wrong? Egos, typically. And this week on Littlest Pet Shop, two of the show’s biggest egos go head-to-head and try to out-Pinkie-Pie one another. Forgetting why they’re doing it. Continue reading →

Best Frienemies

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There’s a crucial difference between an adversary and a friend. Friends have a tendency to help you in any situation, regardless of how it might affect them.

Adversaries do the exact opposite.

How the hell could these lines blur?

Well, sometimes perception is everything. You may think someone is being mean or animus, or that they’re out to get you. When they may be the closest ally you will ever have.

In my personal experience, this has happened many times. Not just on the internet, as I’ve explained before, but in real life as well.

Once I had the unfortunate experience of having a prick as a roommate; he was a violent, arrogant, moronic bigot. I mentioned him before, and he’s since gotten his ass evicted by refusing to talk it out with the landlord. When the landlord asked to speak with him, he said he’d rather rest up for partying later that night.

I’m not sorry to see him go, but there is one thing to note: I actually tried to get along with him. I tried to help him. I didn’t want to see him evicted and I didn’t try to get him evicted. That was what everyone else did.

I was probably the closest thing he had to an ally in the entire building. But for some reason, he thought I was out to get him. He saw me as an enemy. And I had every reason to hate this guy, but I don’t hate. Pretty much as a rule, I don’t hate. I’d be a right ass if I did.

Maybe I need to pick a more a more universal analogy… The second half of Portal 2. Hey, that’s actually apt in several ways. Props to Jonathan Coulton for doing the impossible and writing an even better finale song than Still Alive.

Though I’m sure not everyone has played Portal 2. There must be another! AH! Littlest Pet Shop! Continue reading →