…I am not happy.
I am not thrilled, or amused in the slightest.
I think the only word I could use to describe my current outlook is: disappointment.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Today was the day the bronies have been waiting for. For something I already commented on a few weeks ago. Today was the third season finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, where Twilight Sparkle evolves into Princess Twilight Sparkle, after her friends use the Harmony Stone on her.
Honestly, I was kinda looking forward to this, because given the summary we were treated to, it seemed interesting. The whole ‘switching cutie mark’ thing felt like it would go in an interesting direction. And… well… It did, but in a way that made me very angry.
This is gonna take a while to explain.
First, let’s watch the episode:
Okay, that wasn’t the episode, but I wish it was. Because that would’ve been a lot better than what we got.
I’m sorry, I really should explain this. But it would mean rewatching the episode and I really don’t want to do that. It was painful enough the first time. And remember, this is coming from a fan of the show!
Sigh… here we go.
We open cold, as we normally do, and with a big musical number. Twilight Sparkle is waking up, and starts the day with a song saying everything’s going to be fine.
Some interesting lines here, like “there’s the sofa clerk selling some quills.” Yep, that’s the Ponyville I love! She also says things never go wrong here… What? I’d link to a specific episode at this point, but picking less than twelve is going to be a problem.
But here’s my issue: The song is completely unprovoked. Is this part of her morning routine? Does she do this everyday? I’m surprised it hasn’t gotten old. Maybe it has. The scene ends with Twilight getting dumped on by a crap-ton of water. Then Rarity apologizes for her little accident, as she uses her magic to move some clouds around, and we see that, somehow, she has Rainbow’s cutie mark.
Alright, we’re hitting the ground running and are quickly jumped into the A plot, and I’m ex-Wait… what!?
Unicorns can control the weather? How’s that now? I am so confused. If unicorns can control the weather, why do they need the pegasi?
It was clearly established in Hearth’s Warming Eve that the three pony races each have a role that only they can fill. The earth ponies farm, the unicorns move the sun and moon (a job we can assume was later isolated to the royals), and the pegasi control the weather. But now we learn the unicorns can control the weather as well. Can they also farm? Can earth ponies also move clouds? What if they have a big enough ladder? Can a pegasus do magic? Well if a zebra can, why not!?
This is… odd.
Alright, let’s move on. So Rarity can control the weather, and it’s now her special talent! Which means she’s as good at controlling the weather as she was at fashion design. Right?
Well, no, she actually sucks at it. Covering the entire area in rain and pissing everyone off. Though it is pretty. She placed the clouds in a checkerboard pattern, which I kinda like.
Twilight is confused, she asks Rarity what’s going on, and why her cutie mark has changed. Rarity is confused, this is something she’s always done, and she’s always had that cutie mark. Okay, what the hell?
Twilight goes to intercept Rainbow Dash, who now resides at her cottage at the far side of town. It’s actually Fluttershy’s cottage. Rainbow now has Fluttershy’s cutie mark and is chasing all the animals around the house. Okay, what!? Again, she sucks at it. This makes no sense.
So we quickly learn what’s going on, in a big musical number. Each of Twilight’s friends have gotten somepony else’s cutie mark. Fluttershy now has Pinkie Pie’s mark, Pinkie has Applejack’s mark, and Applejack has Rarity’s mark; so the marks basically cycled; and each of them are now living at the home of their cutie mark. So far it may not sound too bad, despite the fact that Rarity is now homeless since she can’t live in a cloud house. But I haven’t really gotten to the stupid part yet.
Each of them are convinced that, despite the fact that they each suck at their ‘special talent,’ and don’t really appear to enjoy their jobs, they have to do it anyway because it’s what their cutie mark says. Okay, first off, that makes no sense. If your cutie mark says your special talent is something you really suck at, I highly doubt, unless you’re a complete idiot, you won’t notice something is up. Especially since their marks were completely different yesterday.
Okay, their memories were altered, fine. But that just raises more questions. If their memories were altered to fit their new marks, then they likely have memories of doing these tasks for years and being good at them. Or at least getting good at them. So why not just build off that?
See, this makes no sense! It’s completely illogical. I know some will say it’s a kids show, and I’ll give them that. As a kids show, watched by kids who will not notice these gaping plot holes, it’s fine. The problem is, I’ve never judged My Little Pony as a kid’s show, and I’m not about to now. I’ve always judged this as a comedy that can be enjoyed by adults, and in the past it has held up. But it hasn’t today.
I know what you’re going to say: “Well, what exactly did you expect?” I’ll tell you what I expected: I expected the cutie mark switch to give them the required special talent and accompanying skill-set, causing them to lose their former skill-set. Perhaps their memories would change as well, but in that respect, it could work either way. But more than anything, they would be miserable. Perhaps the plot could skip ahead a week, and we’d see them excelling at their new positions, but finding their new roles boring, frustrating, exhausting, or insipid. So they need to change everything back, if only for the sake of their own sanity.
I know it’s stupid to be upset that the episode is not what I expected. But that’s not why I’m upset. I’m upset the episode was so fucking stupid, and that it could have worked, and I could see how it would have worked, but they didn’t go in that direction.
So, anyway, to reiterate. They say that in spite of the fact that they suck at these new roles, it has to be what they’re destined for, because it matches their cutie marks. I’m gonna have to come back to this.
An appropriately panicky Twilight… actually, scratch that, she’s inappropriately calm. She’s still panicky, just nowhere near the level she should be.
Anyway, Twilight returns to the Library, and quickly figures out what happened. The night before, she received a letter from Celestia, and an old spell book. It came through the normal post service, and Twilight closes the door on the postman’s face before she could sign for it. She’s a moron isn’t she?
Actually, hold on. Why didn’t it come through the designated Spike? He seemed to be perfectly capable of sending things other than scrolls in the past. Gala tickets, bottles of ink, why not a book?
Anyway, yeah, the book. It’s the same book we saw at the end of the premiere, that Luna pulled out of nowhere. Here’s a question: Why did they wait until now to send it to her? I don’t think anything happened since then that was required for her to be able to solve this little puzzle.
It was written by Starswirl the Bearded. Oh, I’m so glad they brought him into this, but I’ll get to that later. Anyway, the last page contains an unfinished spell. She wants Twilight to finish the job, and says she’s the only pony who can do it. I’m gonna come back to this too!
Anyway, here’s the spell:
From one to another, another to one.
A mark of one’s destiny, singled out alone.
Yep, that’s unfinished. The second line refers to cutie marks, and the first line obviously mentions them rotating or something. So we find our culprit! The unfinished spell did it. But why? First off, what was the spell’s intended purpose, and why did it do that? And second, why did it switch the team’s marks when they were nowhere near Twilight?
Well, we have the answer to the second one. Turns out, she inadvertently cast the spell on the Elements of Harmony, which were sitting in a glass box, like a museum artifact, right in the middle of the library. And of course, since the Elements are permanently tied to their bearers, it affected them too.
Now, we can assume that Twilight was immune since she’s the one who cast the spell, and it couldn’t really alter her special talent while she was using her special talent. But we run into a major problem here: Why were the elements out in the open like that!?
Hey, Twilight. You’ve placed a weapon of mass destruction and Equestria’s last line of defence in the middle of the Ponyville Public Library! Does that sound secure to you!? You don’t have a vault? Some type of fire safe!? Remember that hidden compartment Spike found earlier in the season? That would have been a perfect hiding spot. What the fuck are you on!? I guess if you keep them out in the open you’d notice immediately if they were stolen. But if someone did want to steal them, they’d be able to do it pretty quickly. And, if you hid them, you’d still notice them stolen because a single book would be out-of-place. So it’s a bit of a moot point isn’t it?
So, Twilight takes a good look at the elements, and we see that the colours have all changed. Obviously the colours correspond to their cutie marks, and the shape to the individual pony. Which doesn’t make a lick of sense since the elements are each in the shape of the cutie marks, but I don’t care. It doesn’t matter, and really isn’t relevant.
So Spike offers up some solutions. There is no designated counter-spell, since the original spell was unfinished. And Twilight says the deus ex machina from the season two premiere won’t work since their memories weren’t altered, but their ‘true selves.’ Well, not… really. Their true selves are still there, since they obviously suck at whatever their ‘destinies’ are. The only thing that changed with their cutie marks are their memories. So a memory spell would work. Besides, since we are basically a collection of memories, you restore that, everything else comes with. Okay, there’s also things like brain structure, but you’re at least halfway there.
Spike then says they’ll just learn to enjoy their new talents. Well, we’ve already established that that’s not the case. But Twilight says their destinies have changed, and they’re not who they were meant to be, and whatever. I assume if one actually believes in destiny, that actually makes sense. But I don’t, so it doesn’t.
Twilight sobs another musical number overtop what I assume are flashforwards. Pinkie tries to buck a tree at Sweet Apple Acres, now a desolate wasteland; Rarity’s weather is shunned by the townsfolk; Applejack is closing up Carousel Boutique, because business is shit I guess; Rainbow’s animals are running amuck, while she mopes; and the townsfolk are fighting because Fluttershy can’t make them laugh.
Okay, we got a few problems here. First of all: This is Rainbow Dash. Would she really wallow in self-pity because she can’t control the animals? No! She’s not that much of a pushover! She’d demand they listen to her and sure, it probably wouldn’t work, but she wouldn’t give up! She’d never give up!
Then we have another problem. Is the mental health of the entire town dependant on one pony making them laugh!? That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! It’s almost as ridiculous as saying two ponies are solely responsible for the education and nutrition of an entire town! Of course that was mentioned before, and at that time, a little kid was saying it, so she was allowed to fuck it up.
Then, with a bit of a pep talk from Spike, Twilight stops sulking and starts searching for a solution. Then, she starts glowing for some inexplicable reason, her cutie mark appears in her eyes, for an even less explicable reason, and she declares that she found a solution! She’s gonna show each pony how their friend is struggling, and each of them in turn will find their true talent as they do so.
…So, you’re gonna remind them of their true talent? Didn’t you just say it wasn’t their memories that were altered?
Oh fuck it! She then brings the Elements with her, for some reason.
Intercepting Fluttershy first, just as she’s about to leave town, they tell her she needs to help Rainbow Dash with her animals. Fluttershy says she knows nothing about animals. So, just so we’re clear, Twilight: They’re memories were not affected?
But Fluttershy still wants to help her friend, so they book it to Rainbow Dash’s cottage, where they find her about to be cooked in a pot. Holy shit! This show got pretty dark!
Fluttershy tries to pacify the creatures, and is very successful. She even pulls out some food to feed them. She starts glowing, and discovers her special talent, regaining her original cutie mark!
Okay. Two weeks ago, I hinted at another horrifying lesson in the series that I think I should deal with now: Talent doesn’t work that way!!!
Let us be clear: there is no such thing as ‘talent.’ At least, not in the way most people think. No one is born good at anything. It takes years to get good at stuff. Do you honestly think world-famous guitarist, Slash, just woke up one day, picked up a guitar, and immediately started playing some sweet licks!? NO! When he started playing, I’m willing to bet he sucked as much as anyone! But he got better. How? By playing the guitar. It’s also known as ‘practising.’ Now, why did he do this? Because he loved it. He loved playing the guitar, so he played the guitar, and became one of the greatest guitarists in history. Notice I said ‘one of,’ because I don’t want to get into some type of flame war.
Now, some may say this sorta fits well with this week’s episode, except it doesn’t, since, while the main characters still have their original talents, they don’t have any memories of how they developed, which means they never developed.
Now, let’s go back to the song. Why are they claiming that this must be their destiny if they don’t enjoy it? Because their cutie marks say so? Well, how did they get the marks? Do they remember being good at it? Why aren’t they good at it now? Shouldn’t they notice something’s amiss!? All cutie marks on the show have matched with something the pony enjoys. Which is why they’re good at it. This is a bit incongruous with what we see during this episode. Is it not?
Now, this is not a new thing on the show. Let’s look at the Cutie Mark Crusaders for a second.
How have these adorable little filles been going about their search for their cutie marks? By throwing a bunch of shit at a wall and seeing what sticks. Why hasn’t anyone told them the truth, that no one is born good at anything, they have to get good at it. They have to learn their skills, and they should start by finding what they enjoy, and sticking with it.
Okay, to a certain extent, we already see this. They suck at everything, which makes sense. And Twilight once told them to go after what they enjoy. Which they did, and it ended terribly. But why hasn’t anyone told them they wouldn’t be good at anything unless they practice!? Instead we see them continue on their fruitless quest, and giving up on the things they enjoy because they find they’re not good at them instantly.
These kids are going nowhere fast, and no one is helping them.
So, anyway, back to the episode. Fluttershy re-earns her mark and Twilight gets the Element of Kindness on her, for some reason. The reason is never explained. Then, her original memories are restored, but it’s hard to tell whether it’s the element, or the cutie mark that does that.
Remind me again why the memory spell wouldn’t have worked? Not that I’m complaining per say, it was a stupid spell to begin with.
They drag Rainbow over to Rarity, who’s still failing to handle the local weather. Rainbow busts the clouds, starts to glow, Twilight gets the element on her, and her memories and cutie mark are restored, and I’m still confused.
Dragging Rarity over to Carousel, with boarded up windows, they-wait… That wasn’t a flashforward? During Twilight’s depressing song, all that actually happened at that time!? Then why was Sweet Apple Acres a wasteland? Pinkie’s presence destroyed the farm in less than a day!? Wow, she really does suck at it!
Anyway, Rarity makes a few dresses, glows, Element, memories, cutie mark, rinse, repeat.
Then we get to Sweet Apple Acres, and yeah, it’s a wasteland! How did that happen!? It’s gonna take months to regrow all the plants! Oh, no. Applejack starts farming and all the trees are restored. Da hell!?
Big Mac and Apple Bloom join in, which begs the question: where were they while Pinkie was running the place? Why didn’t they try to talk some sense into this crazy mare!
Applejack get’s her mark back, and they drag Pinkie to the centre of town to cheer the ponies up. Then, before she even does anything, she starts to glow, they put the element on her, blah blah blah, what the hell!?
For the others, they had to use their true talents before they got their marks back. For Pinkie it happens in reverse. Why?
Well, on the bright side, at least the solution isn’t cheap. Like it was when she did use the memory spell. It’s confusing, sure, but it’s not cheap.
Then, Twilight levitates the group all together in a magical group hug. Fucking show-off.
At that moment, she suddenly has an epiphany. They return to the library, and she finishes the spell.
From one to another, another to one.
A mark of one’s destiny, singled out alone.
From all of us together, together we’re friends.
With the marks of our destinies made one.
There is magic without end.
I’m… so confused. What kind of spell is this?
Anyway, the moment she finishes the spell, writing down the final lines, the elements activate, focusing on Twilight herself. We see Cyclops’ eye beams shooting her from five different angles, and encasing her in a sphere of energy. When it finally dissipates, we see the spot she was standing in, blackened and smouldering.
So once again, Twilight’s dead, and the episode ends. Goodnight everybrony!
Oh, damn it, it’s not over. We see Twilight floating in a starry void.
Celestia arrives and congratulates her on her accomplishment. What accomplishment? Suicide?
No, she did something that’s never been done before, by anypony. Not even Starswirl the Bearded was successful. She managed to complete the spell.
Wait… okay. Let’s go over the facts, shall we? Starswirl lived a very long time ago. In Hearth’s Warming Eve it’s clearly established that he was the mentor of Clover the Clever, who was around during the founding of Equestria. The founding of Equestria predates the reign of Celestia and/or Luna. Now, we know both of them ruled Equestria one thousand years ago when one of them was banished to the moon. So that means that Starswirl lived at least one thousand years ago. At minimum, this book is 900 years old… Minimum! No one found out how to complete the spell before now?
Well, we do get a reason. Because no one ever understood friendship like she did.
THAT MAKES EVEN LESS SENSE!!!
In the past 900 years, Twilight was the first pony to have friends? She was the first to understand what it meant to be a friend? Not even Celestia understood friendship!? She never had friends!? What the hell!?
I’m sorry, this makes no sense, and is completely incongruous with established canon. Equestria is a land founded on friendship. That’s what Hearth’s Warming Eve was about! But no one was able to use their knowledge of friendship to complete the spell!? I find that very hard to believe.
So the two of them trot through a clip show, and Celestia explains it’s now time for a major change. I think we all see what’s coming.
Meanwhile, in the skies above Ponyville, we see Twilight’s cutie mark appear quite randomly. And no, I don’t mean a constellation that sorta looks like her cutie mark. I mean the actual fucking mark. Colour accurate and everything. Like someone threw a billboard up there. And for some reason, her friends are already outside witnessing it. Why did they leave the library? Did they see the glow? Did they think: Well Twilight’s dead, let’s go home? Did I flip over two pages at once? What happened!?
The billboard lowers to the ground and transforms into Twilight. Okay, how did that happen, and why was it necessary? Why did she need to go to the void, and why did she return in billboard form?
I read a theory on twitter that Twilight actually did die and Celestia brought her back to life like a pony Jesus. I like that theory, let’s stick with it. Though still, not even Jesus was that showy.
She gets to her hooves and spreads her wings. Oh, yeah, she grew wings. Good for her, I guess. But what bugs me is the smug look she has on her face.
The girls react with mixed emotions. Applejack is perplexed. Rainbow is excited, saying she has a new flying buddy. And Rarity says she didn’t know it was possible to transform into an alicorn. Which sort of supports my premise from two weeks ago that alicorns are a separate race. Since if alicorns were just one of the standard three varieties that are later transformed, you’d think she’d know that. This is Rarity we’re talking about, she pays attention to that stuff.
Anyway, Pinkie wants to throw a party, and Fluttershy comments that she looks like a Princess. Then Celestia arrives, saying she is a princess.
Wait. Why? I mean, is she a princess because she’s an alicorn? Or is she an alicorn because she’s a princess?
I must have missed something here!
So Celestia then explains exactly why she’s a princess. Because she embodies each of the five elements, plus leadership, and that makes her princess material.
Okay, hold on. Twilight’s a leader? I mean granted she’s led the gang through so many trials. But that’s not really more than a hobby. Isn’t it? I bring this up because looking at the rest of the group, we have Rainbow Dash, whose job is leading the local weather team. There’s Applejack who manages Sweet Apple Acres, and on at least one occasion has managed the replanting of all the plants in town during Winter Wrap-up. Then there’s Fluttershy, who leads all the town’s little animals.
Basically, I’m saying there are much better leaders within the group. Which begs the question: why only her?
No, I’m serious, why is Twilight the only one worthy of princess-dom? Any of the other five seem just as worthy, so this makes little sense! Now, one might be able to find reasons for them to get disqualified. But I can find reasons to disqualify Twilight too! She’s a nervous wreck for starters! Why do I say this? Well, Swarm of the Century, Green Isn’t Your Color, A Bird in the Hoof, Lesson Zero, Secret of My Excess, It’s About Time, A Canterlot Wedding, and even The Crystal Empire have all featured Twilight losing her mind in some way.
This is who she is, this is her character. I don’t have a problem with that. But I do have a problem with Celestia thinking it’s okay to give a pony with an anxiety disorder a position of power. It makes no sense!!!
Of course, I’ve already been over this. But I feel it needs repeating.
Yes, last week she maintained her composure, thanks to some simple breathing exercises. But that wasn’t a major crisis. That was a minor event. Worst case scenario, the Crystal Empire wouldn’t host the games. They’d still be alive, so it really isn’t a big deal, especially compared to the season premiere. There have been worse crises, and Twilight has a history of mental illness. Is it really a good idea to give her such responsibilities?
Moving on, we learn that Twilight is upset, and she asks if she’ll remain Celestia’s student. Um… Twilight. You’re graduating, this is not a bad thing, you idiot. She didn’t honestly think she’d remain a student forever did she?
Jeez. My head.
But Celestia explains that it’s not entirely true. She’ll still be Celestia’s student, but Celestia will also be her student. Um… what? I’ve never been more confused. She’s gonna teach Celestia about friendship I guess, but doesn’t Celestia already know this stuff? Has she never had friends before!? What the hell!?
Then she says, “You’re an inspiration to us all, Twilight.” WHY!? WHAT!? WHY!? WHAT DID SHE DO!? WHY!?
Fast forward a bit, we are now in Canterlot, for Twilight’s coronation ceremony, and even Luna shows up for the first time at one of these things. Yeah, we haven’t seen her in a while have we? We also see Celestia wearing a humongous, and gaudy crown we’ve never seen before. Is it supposed to represent her position as ruler of Equestria? Well, isn’t Luna also ruler of Equestria? Are they not equals? Because that’s exactly what was established during the series premiere. Yet her crown is much smaller. What the hell?
Anyway, Celestia gives another explanation for Twilight’s ascension. Because she created ‘new magic,’ and that proves, ‘without a doubt,’ that she’s princess material.
Oh, boy. Here we see a few problems pop up. First of all, it was established in Luna Eclipsed that Starswirl the Bearded is the “Father of the Amniomorphic Spell.” So back then, he managed to create ‘new magic.’ Right? Okay, well, why isn’t he ever referred to as a Prince?
On that note, Prince Blueblood. A right asshole, granted. But he’s a prince. So why didn’t he get wings when he created ‘new magic’? Some may say the same thing about Prince Shining Armor, but he married into royalty, so I’ll let that slide. But Blueblood is most certainly single. If he wasn’t, I doubt Rarity would have hit on him. Could there be another way to enter royalty? Possibly. Let’s assume so, because otherwise, we run into some major problems with sexism.
But that’s not to mention the biggest problem. You can only become a princess if you create ‘new magic.’ Implying that only unicorns can reach this rank. That’s right, pegasi and earth ponies are verboten! Only unicorns are allowed to be royalty. Goddamn it, I had a feeling we’d have problems with racism here, but this is worse than I thought! Again, to be charitable, let’s assume there are other ways to become a princess for the other races. For instance if a pegasus creates a new flying technique, or an earth pony creates a new plant.
Actually, we can even argue that pegasi and earth ponies can create new magic, since it appears that unicorns can manipulate the weather.
But then we reach a new problem. Every time a pony creates ‘new magic,’ they become a princess? Ho boy, that’s gonna be a problem. After all, I’m pretty sure Twilight’s not the only unicorn working in academia. There are probably dozens of unicorns working on new spells every day. Assuming their society advances at all!
So does this mean that for every spell in every spell book, there is a unicorn that has ascended to royalty? Alright, granted, it’s possible that one unicorn can create multiple spells. But I find that highly unlikely considering that creating one spell is apparently such a big deal.
Twilight creates one spell, and that’s enough of an accomplishment to get her promoted to Princess, and get Celestia to start kissing her flank! I find it highly unlikely that she’s gonna create a second if it’s so hard to create the first one!
And didn’t Rarity create her gem-finding spell? She’s the one who taught it to Twilight. Neither one of them read it in a book. I think it’s safe to assume it’s her own original spell. So why isn’t she a princess?
So, yeah, they officially broke the universe.
Then, we have the final Aesop. Where Twilight says she’s so happy she made friends, since it made her a princess. Oh, fuck you.
Yeah, she’s not happy she has friends because she enjoys their company, but because it made her a princess. I hate this show.
…oh… Did I just type that?
Holy shit I did!
I used to love this show. It was my favourite piece of televised entertainment, and now…
Maybe it was just a heat of the moment thing. Let me think this through.
Perhaps I’m misinterpreting things. Perhaps what she really meant was: She’s glad she has friends for several reasons, and one of them just happens to be, they taught her everything she needed to become a princess. Yeah, let’s go with that. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than what I had earlier.
She has a quick chat with her brother, and is suddenly pulled down the street in a giant, gaudy carriage, because her legs apparently broke. Twilight then flies toward the camera, saying ‘everything’s gonna be just fine.’ Which I assume is directed toward the raging bronies
Oh, I’m sure it will be. Unfortunately, this season wasn’t ‘just fine.’ It was terrible. And now that it’s over, I can definitively say, I’m horrified.
What the hell happened!? Was half the writing staff lobotomized!?
This really bugs the hell out of me. Before this episode began I was hoping I would be able to, if nothing else, say the episode was well written, and any problems could be easily blamed on the Hasbro execs, and that M.A. Larson tried the best with what he had. I thought I’d be able to put the man in a criticism-proof bubble, like MovieBob did to Jackie Earle Haley. But I can’t. And… it makes me cry.
I know M.A. Larson is a good writer. He wrote my favourite episode this season, Magic Dual. An episode I thought would be terrible, yet wasn’t. In fact, some of my favourite episodes in season one and two were also written by Larson. So I know he can do better. But he didn’t.
I said after the premiere that I was going to forgive its various problems, since I presumed that they were merely setting up questions that were going to be answered some time this season, developing some type of arc. Well, the season’s over and we didn’t get any of that. Sombra’s still a blank slate. Okay, all the other questions were answered… at the end of the season. Very little point to all the episodes in between. Okay, Keep Calm and Flutter On placed the Elements in Twilight’s custody. But still, the alicorn Amulet didn’t play a role, Trixie didn’t play a role. Nothing within the Crystal Empire mattered at all. The Mirror Pool, Luna’s dream powers, Babs Seed, Spike’s Dragon Code, none of it played any role in the season finale. And we didn’t see Discord at all! Why was he released!?
I just don’t understand what happened. And I feel kinda sad. I don’t think this show should make me sad.
I wanted this episode to be good. I wanted it to prove that even with a crap idea, like Twilight becoming an alicorn princess, a good writer could make it work. But all it did was prove that even a good idea, like the main characters all switching cutie marks, can be terribly executed, even by a good writer.
I don’t know if the staff just stopped caring, and started to rest on its laurels. But I hope that’s not the case. I hope they’re not that arrogant. I hope there’s another explanation. And I hope next season, the show will be back on top, and will start to make me happy again.
But since we’re here, let’s quickly talk about next season.
Of course, no news yet… on the actual show. But we do have this:
A single concept image that was leaked from DHX, I think. Of course, this was just an unconfirmed rumour. No official word came out on what this was for. Initially, people were saying it was for the MLP Movie, and it would feature the ponies entering our world for whatever reason and becoming human.
Of course, it was just a rumour. Unsubstantiated, and likely a hoax by someone who wanted to mess with the brony community.
But of course, it wasn’t long before more news was released. Turns out this wouldn’t be for a movie, but a whole new spin-off series entitled, “Equestria Girls.”
Now, some fans, including some who directed me to the rumour, were incensed that something like this would happen! It’s gonna be terrible! They’re going to ruin My Little Pony! And I kind of agreed with them a little bit. But since then, I took a different perspective. This show might actually be good.
I’ve said since the beginning that the show’s quality was inconsequential to the branding. The characters are what make My Little Pony great, not their species. You could completely redo the show with gerbils and it’d still be amazing. So I have no problem with this Equestria Girls announcement. I’m actually looking forward to it. I’m very curious to see why they would arrive in the human world, and what they would do once they’re here.
Some have suggested that it will be a throwback to G3.5. I haven’t seen it, but apparently it was loaded with girly stereotypes. Well, if it’s the same characters, I doubt that’ll happen. If the production staff has any sense, we’ll see the same action set pieces we’ve come to appreciate, and some slice of life episodes featuring the former ponies adjusting to human life.
Of course if it turns out they’re just humans who have always been humans, and just, by coincidence, have the same names and personalities as our heroes, I’ll be slightly less interested.
Yes, apparently it takes place in a high school. But, so did My Life as a Teenage Robot, and that show was awesome!
And the show will have a completely new team at the helm, with new writers. Well, considering how this season went, that’s probably a good thing. Get some fresh blood in the franchise, I’d love to see where this goes. And if you’re hiring…
But, that’s not to say it’s all sunshine and roses. Let’s take another look at these girls:
Take a look, take a good look. Oh, that’s not enough? How about this:
Notice any problems? Well allow me to spell it out: Those are not normal skin colours!
Pinkie and Applejack are fine… probably. But Rainbow Dash and Trixie are oxygen deprived; Rarity needs to get out in the sun for once in her life; I don’t know what’s happened to Twilight, maybe she fell in a vat of red wine; and Fluttershy is jaundiced! The hair’s fine, the clothes… sure… But the skin… shit. I’m sorry, I just don’t think I’ve ever seen something so… horrific. If they’re trying to blend in on earth, they’re gonna have a very hard time. So… yeah, change the skin colours to something a bit more… human.
But all in all, I have to say, I’m kinda excited for the new Equestria Girls series. If nothing else, it’ll be a change of pace, and that’s always a good thing.
Trying new things, well that’s always fun. You gotta be willing to give everything a chance and challenge your pre-conceived notions. Hell, the entire brony community is built on people who challenged their preconceptions, and gave the show a chance. Are we gonna abandon that philosophy now!? Hell no!
Equestria Girls will premiere this spring, and the next season of My Little Pony, well we’ll probably be seeing it this coming September. I’m gonna watch it, I can tell you that. Even though this season was terrible, even though Princess Sparkle’s introduction was horrific, it could still… be… good. And I’m gonna give it a chance.
It’s also worth noting that, according to Meghan McCarthy, who was also this season’s story editor, this episode was just part one of a three-parter. We’ll see the rest at the beginning of next season.
I hope they don’t decide to reverse the Princess Twilight thing. That could go places. But it is a possibility. Especially given the fan outrage. I know I’ve been part of the outrage, but I think, at the very least, they should own it, and not backtrack.
But, let’s see where this goes. It’s exciting times people. To some that’s a curse. To me, it’s a reason for living.